"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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When you get blown off - do they tell you or ignore you?

Babnik

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AFTER the first date, if girls flake, do they show it mostly by ignoring you and not answering your calls or by telling you that they do not want to hang out or something?

I have hard time reading hints and stuff...

I would lose communication for like 2 weeks, then meet them and they would say "Oh, I didn't know you called, I definitely want to hang out". Now, no way someone would miss 2 SMS and 3 calls... So, is it what girls do to guys?? They are too nice to blow you off so they "I had a great time, lets meet up again!" but they mean "I didn't like it that much, sorry!"

How can I tell? If they say it "It was great" with SUCH enthusiasm and eagerness in their eyes and voice tone? HOW THE HELL can it mean the opposite?!

So guys just tell me, how do you get blown off AFTER the first date most often? By being ignored (not picking up phone and stuff) or by being told "Lets just friends" or something like that?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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bigneil

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So let's review: you went on a date, and afterward you called 3 times and sent 3 messages and got no reply? Now you are wondering if this is just "what girls do when they are interested"??

After a date, if you call even once, you should get an anxious reply if she is interested. Sad but true. They say they don't want to hurt you, but they couldn't care less about your feelings - they don't want to feel the awkwardness of telling you and frankly don't want to do any work in general. So your explanation gets put off like an old water bill.

Don't worry, at least you got a date. Get a few more (with other women) and maybe you'll hear back, but never contact them more than twice without hearing back.
 

Babnik

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bigneil said:
So let's review: you went on a date, and afterward you called 3 times and sent 3 messages and got no reply? Now you are wondering if this is just "what girls do when they are interested"??

After a date, if you call even once, you should get an anxious reply if she is interested. Sad but true. They say they don't want to hurt you, but they couldn't care less about your feelings - they don't want to feel the awkwardness of telling you and frankly don't want to do any work in general. So your explanation gets put off like an old water bill.

Don't worry, at least you got a date. Get a few more (with other women) and maybe you'll hear back, but never contact them more than twice without hearing back.
Then why the hell would they say "Hey, you haven't called me since bla bla" when I approach them like 3 weeks later?

My phone is working FINE!
 

Googs

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Doesn't look good. I would respond by saying "I have a number too, why not call me?" or something along that. I say you can attempt another date with her but if you hear more excuses or if she doesn't pick up, let her go.
 

mrRuckus

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Googs said:
Doesn't look good. I would respond by saying "I have a number too, why not call me?"

Then you get some bullsh1t like "the man should always come to the lady."


pfft
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Babnik

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I need more responses on this...

I simply don't understand responses like this...

Me: "If you want me to f*ck off then just tell me"
Her: "I never said that!!!"


And then never calls me..
 

musclyjerk

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She doesn't want to know you, stop badgering her. Get the hint. Move on.

"Hey, you haven't called me since bla bla" - that means 'I know you called me and sent texts, but I'm going to pretend you haven't called me so I don't look (or rather feel) like a b*tch.. so I'm going to lie to your face because you will accept it like a fool.

Seriously.. you need to stop communicating with her alltogether and FORGET about her.

That's all you need to know - no need to ask anymore questions in the vein hope that she might be interested. She's not. Sorry.

The Muscly Jerk
 

Babnik

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musclyjerk said:
She doesn't want to know you, stop badgering her. Get the hint. Move on.

"Hey, you haven't called me since bla bla" - that means 'I know you called me and sent texts, but I'm going to pretend you haven't called me so I don't look (or rather feel) like a b*tch.. so I'm going to lie to your face because you will accept it like a fool.

Seriously.. you need to stop communicating with her alltogether and FORGET about her.

That's all you need to know - no need to ask anymore questions in the vein hope that she might be interested. She's not. Sorry.

The Muscly Jerk

But thats just odd...why would someone I am NOT seeing message me back actually...after a week? You could ignore messages just like phone calls, but she doesn't ignore them. She first said she was in a car wreck and now said she can't send any more texts...possibly didn't pay phone bill?

I'm not sure, but saying "I was in a car wreck" just doesn't sound like an excuse or even a HINT... and some girls who flaked like that do answer to my FaceBook and MySpace messages but not regarding going out...AND sometimes I hear complaints from their friends (other girls) "Nice job picking up the phone! I HATE YOU!" because I go out with real busy girls...seriously busy ones. All honors college and stuff.
 
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xomel

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Babnik said:
I need more responses on this...

I simply don't understand responses like this...

Me: "If you want me to f*ck off then just tell me"
Her: "I never said that!!!"


And then never calls me..

i came in here to post what this man said.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Le Parisien

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Although I agree that it's frustrating, it's only about social intelligence.

- When you run a business, you don't tell your customers "we just want your money", "providing you great services is just one way to make you spend more". You say "our goal is customer satisfaction".

- When you apply for a job, you don't say "I just want a job that's not boring/tedious and pays big bucks", you say "I want a challenging job that offers great opportunities"

- When asked what kind of girl you like by some one you are interested in you say "nice, intelligent, beautiful on the inside... and on the outside:whistle: ". You don't say "I want a girl who has a hot face, hot body, big boobs, long legs, tall etc... and intelligence would be a nice option to have"...:D

-The same way, 99.9% of girls won't tell the truth in your face, because it's socially stupid, she would cause unnecessary hostility towards herself. By bullsh*ting you, she gets what she wants : to be left alone by you, at least temporarily. Plus maybe sometimes, your "friendship" can come in handy (like paying for dinners, moving her stuff, someone to talk to when she feels lonely and down etc...). Basically she doesn't want to and she doesn't need to burn her bridges.

Plus one last thing: for us human beings, interest come and go, especially for attractive young females.
Some day they are into you, some other day they are not that much anymore because they found better deals, and maybe some days later their interest goes up again because they run out of options.

Now do you get it?
 

blinkwatt

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All the one-date chicks I have gone out with all sounded deadbeat the next time I talked to them. They responded to text with short answers as well.
 
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