When you don't talk.

[Jair213]

Hey guys wanted to ask some questions regarding conversation and moments of silence.
Lets say your on a date. Waiting in line to buy tickets for a Movie. And both of you are not talking to each other. Your just there waiting making line. Do you always need to talk at every moment in the date? I ussually start feeling really nervous or unconfortable and I loose my composure. How do you guys go about this? Also same go'es for when lets say ordering food at a restaurant or your driving somewere.

I am also really bad at ending conversations so I feel the need of talking forever. LOL I ussually just say. ''Well i have to get going, bye''
But yeah. Any suggestions.

 

[cola]

fvcking relax

 

[JoeMarron]

Filling every little bit of silence is a good way to fvck yourself over. Talk when you feel like it. Let her be the one to get nervous while you sit back, chill and smile to yourself as you watch her struggle to find ways to impress you.

 

[CrispyG]

Stop thinking about what you're going to say next. You do not need to say stuff all of the time. If you were in line with your buddies, would you fill the air all of the time? This is essentially why you avoid dates like the movies - until you're comfortable with that person. Because if you're not a really relaxed person, you're going to look awkward.

Just take a step back. Breathe. I talk to women the same way I talk to my friends. If I want to say something, I say it, if I don't, I don't. I waste no time thinking about what I might say or how it might be perceived. That's silly. If she doesn't like how I talk or how I am, she can go **** herself. I don't have time for people who I have to pretend to be someone else for.

This is why when you're working on yourself it pays to get involved with new things, meet a lot of new people, read, watch things, pay attention, so that you actually have interesting things to comment on. Not because you want to impress a girl, but because you strive to be a well rounded individual who contributes to conversation.

That said, be comfortable in your silence. This will take some work, but start giving it some thought. You do not have to be going all the time. Be cool.

Remember - she's thinking 'omg I've run out of things to say' as well. A lot of guys think they have to be the ones to keep the conversation going. They get sucked into the idea that it wouldn't be at all possible for her to be a boring person with no conversation skills...no no, it must be my fault!

 

[Jair213]

Stop thinking about what you're going to say next. You do not need to say stuff all of the time. If you were in line with your buddies, would you fill the air all of the time? This is essentially why you avoid dates like the movies - until you're comfortable with that person. Because if you're not a really relaxed person, you're going to look awkward.

Just take a step back. Breathe. I talk to women the same way I talk to my friends. If I want to say something, I say it, if I don't, I don't. I waste no time thinking about what I might say or how it might be perceived. That's silly. If she doesn't like how I talk or how I am, she can go **** herself. I don't have time for people who I have to pretend to be someone else for.

This is why when you're working on yourself it pays to get involved with new things, meet a lot of new people, read, watch things, pay attention, so that you actually have interesting things to comment on. Not because you want to impress a girl, but because you strive to be a well rounded individual who contributes to conversation.

That said, be comfortable in your silence. This will take some work, but start giving it some thought. You do not have to be going all the time. Be cool.

Remember - she's thinking 'omg I've run out of things to say' as well. A lot of guys think they have to be the ones to keep the conversation going. They get sucked into the idea that it wouldn't be at all possible for her to be a boring person with no conversation skills...no no, it must be my fault!

thanks bro this saved my life. LOL will save this on my files and do the things you advice.

 

[DonGorgon]

if she likes you she will keep talking if she does not she will be glad there is silence FACT and she will get on her phone and start texting other men

 

[PlayHer Man]

As the man, running your mouth isn't your job. Its HER job.. and if she is quiet then you should be happy you don't have a motor-mouth woman. On a date I'm trying to seduce her so I can f*ck her. So I will touch her a lot and ask questions that help me. I don't talk about myself at all unless she asks me a question.

You are not on a stage. So why do you believe you have to put on a performance? If you stay quiet long enough.. trust me.. the girl will get insecure and fill the silence. Her hamster wheel will ask: "Why isn't he trying to impress me? Did I turn him off? Is he mad? Did you lose interest?"

Men fear that being difficult in any way will turn the woman off. This is not true. If anything it makes her more insecure and try HARDER to impress you.

I've done it many times where I just don't talk simply because I don't feel like talking. Psssfff.... :rock:

if she likes you she will keep talking if she does not she will be glad there is silence FACT and she will get on her phone and start texting other men

When this happens.. you know she is paying for herself. This is when you end the date. Time is precious and if the girl isn't feeling you then you have no further business with her. I would say: "I've gotta get going." and bounce. Lots of women will do a 180 :crackup: