When you always have to initiate

[Oatmeal31]

This is about dealing with people in general, girls and guys, in regards to developing relationships with others, for the sake of connection.
Before I go on, in my experience, this is not a problem ON dates. Girls generally know better than to sit there and be a dead starfish. They ask questions because they are interested and/or to vet you.

I've been the quiet guy, I've been the listener, I've been the charismatic guy, the outspoken guy, I've been all over the spectrum. When you're quiet you're invisible. When you listen, people just yap and don't return the favor. When you are the charismatic guy, the one who initiates, carries the conversation, and lightens up the mood, people just take you for granted and almost never do the same in return.

People don't ask questions back. People don't greet. People don't reciprocate. It's not a two way street. People take. They take, take, and ****ing take.

Feels like an exercise in futility. A zero sum game. Most people are like this IN MY EXPERIENCE. Why even bother? This is why, when I sleep with enough women and fulfill my other goals, I'll retire myself to a farm, somewhere peaceful, quiet, and distance myself from others.


Should I swiftly cut off any attempts with dead ends and just focus on people who wholly reciprocate?



Do any of you experience this? This lack of sensibility and self-absorption from others?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Do any of you experience this?

Sure did, then I stopped craving receiprocation.... Lo and behold, those I interacted with then began asking well-thought out questions back, greeting me, and reciprocating more often

I urge you to do likewise, hombre

 

[CoolWave1331]

No initiation / no effort - you need to find a new tribe. Relationships with men & women should be balanced brother. Of course not going to be exactl 50/50 but you know what I mean.

You don't want to be person that is like 3rd choice and only hear from people who want something / need a favor only.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I generally hate talking about myself. But when I do, I keep it light, cracking jokes or making things entertaining to stay on the surface. I’m perfectly fine letting others carry the conversation and talk about their lives. After all, as the saying goes, the fish dies by its mouth.

It’s funny how most heavy talkers don’t seem to have that inner voice asking, “Am I bothering you?”