When would you gentlemen recommend I contact for a second date?

[.Paradox.]

I had a girl from OkCupid come over late Thursday night for drinks and a movie. Pretty sure we both had the same thing on our minds - sex. We chatted for a bit, then got physical. Heavy making out, shirts came off, her hand down my pants, etc. Serious sexual chemistry. Unfortunately we didn't have sex due to it being that "time of the month." Anyway, she told me she's taking a short out-of-state vacation from Sunday to Wednesday. We talked about hanging out next week when she gets back, but didn't plan for any specific day. She texted me when she arrived home saying she had a good time and that she "hopes we can hang out again," to which I responded telling her I also had fun and that we'd hang out again next week when she gets back from her trip.

I was planning on hitting her up Monday afternoon to try and set up another date/hangout.

What do you gentlemen think?

 

[Married Buried]

I had a girl from OkCupid come over late Thursday night for drinks and a movie. Pretty sure we both had the same thing on our minds - sex. We chatted for a bit, then got physical. Heavy making out, shirts came off, her hand down my pants, etc. Serious sexual chemistry. Unfortunately we didn't have sex due to it being that "time of the month." Anyway, she told me she's taking a short out-of-state vacation from Sunday to Wednesday. We talked about hanging out next week when she gets back, but didn't plan for any specific day. She texted me when she arrived home saying she had a good time and that she "hopes we can hang out again," to which I responded telling her I also had fun and that we'd hang out again next week when she gets back from her trip.

I was planning on hitting her up Monday afternoon to try and set up another date/hangout.

What do you gentlemen think?

Damn, you got her hand in your pants and you didn't get anything?

I would have told her to suck it. I would have said "suck it a little".

They like that.

 

[The Gambler]

yup that's fine.

bradd80 has spoken. Do it.

And do it with style.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

From my personal experience, hitting up a chick while she's on vacation is one of the WORST ideas ever. And here's why:

1. It's easy to misinterpret her interest. If you call/text her and she either doesn't answer you back right away or tries to rush you off the phone, you might start thinking it means she doesn't like you. In reality, though, she may be rushing out to another activity because SHE'S ON VACATION and doesn't want to spend her time talking to you despite how much she may like you.

2. While on vacation, she's focusing on other stuff, not YOU. This isn't meant to sound like an insult to you, but the reality is that, on a vacation, most people are trying to focus on where they're at for the moment, not on people or things back at home.

3. She needs the break from you so she can build up interest level. Yes, while she's away having a good time, it will give her brain uninterrupted time to think about you. She'll play back the date in her head a few times and get that tingly feeling you gave her last time she saw you. Then - and here's the part that most guys don't get - when you DON'T contact her, she'll start playing the "does he like me or not" head game with herself. It's the game where she asks herself why you didn't call, and she goes between thinking it's because you like her but are just busy, or that you don't like her and it's because she needs to try harder at keeping your attention. This head game alone will make her want you even MORE, to the point where she may end up calling/texting YOU before the vacation is over.

4. If you call her, it gives the people she may be around the chance to chime in their opinion about you - and you do NOT want that this early on. You've only been on one date thus far, so the LAST thing you want to do is call/text her up when she may be around family or friends. She'll start talking about you and (possibly) how far she went with you on the date, and they might start saying things like "Hmmm, sounds like he might be a player to me" or "but you hardly know him! You should take it slow!" Next thing you know, you've got blue balls for a month while she waits for you to prove your worth - no bueno.

5. She needs to think you have a life outside of her. But, if you contact her while on vacation, she's going to be thinking: "Man, I'm out on vacation having the time of my life... and he's just sitting at home waiting for me to come back? Eh...."

Now, you could very well contact her and she end up accepting the date and all ends up being well. However, I'm an odds maker, and based on my years of observation, the chances of her interest remaining at the same level and/or rising actually INCREASES if you do NOT contact her or ask for a date when she's on vacation. And, realistically, it's okay if you wait until she gets back to ask her out. In the grand scheme of things, waiting 6 days to hit a girl up for another date is NOT a long time. I've gone 2 years between asking a girl for a date and still got a "yes." Why? 'Cause when they're interested, they're not going anywhere. You really think if she likes you that much that she's going to suddenly stop in just 6 days?? Bullcrap, man!

Learn to add a little patience to your game - TRUST me, it will work wonders for you. Hope this helps!

 

[Who Dares Win]

I have to agree with Harry, the last thing you want are third parts involved in your plans, you dont want her friend involved untill you banged her as the bang seals the connection.

If she speaks about you to her friend they will screen you in any possible way, behaviour, pictures whatever untill they find something "wrong".

Even worse are those cvnts who want control over their friends and try to hook them up with the friends of their boyfriends to keep the group united, dont let being screwd up like that.

An other case is the "girls night out" mentality that group of girls have in vacation where "fun" is the priority so her friend woul encourage her to live a "sex and the city" life.

It's a lot of work but the more preparation you do the smoother the executions will be.

 

[jammer]

Harry and who dares are overthinking this. Call her. If she's too busy, chat her up when she gets back. By waiting over a week to contact her, you're waiting too long.

In my experience, girls love hearing from you during a vacation. They're in a good mood (so they associate you with this good mood) and they'll have stuff to talk about.

All of this overthinking and overanalyzing and crap about losing the frame is bullsh*t. If you lose the frame, you lost it due to lack of confidence and lack of options.

OP, do what you want to do. If you feel like calling her, do it.

 

[.Paradox.]

Harry and who dares are overthinking this. Call her. If she's too busy, chat her up when she gets back. By waiting over a week to contact her, you're waiting too long.

In my experience, girls love hearing from you during a vacation. They're in a good mood (so they associate you with this good mood) and they'll have stuff to talk about.

All of this overthinking and overanalyzing and crap about losing the frame is bullsh*t. If you lose the frame, you lost it due to lack of confidence and lack of options.

OP, do what you want to do. If you feel like calling her, do it.

I was just about to write down a bunch of points but jammer already beat me to it.

Couldn't agree with him more.

No disrespect to Harry or WDW, but this is what I was thinking. I honestly believe that my waiting till Monday (3-4 days) before contacting her might be too much as it is. Strike the iron while it's hot, right? The thing is, from MY experience, scheduling dates too far into the future is also bad. Girls tend to "forget" and flake. A lot.

Anyways, I either contact her today (as she's heading to Florida) or tomorrow (when she's already there). Still planning on doing it tomorrow.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

No disrespect to Harry or WDW, but this is what I was thinking. I honestly believe that my waiting till Monday (3-4 days) before contacting her might be too much as it is. Strike the iron while it's hot, right? The thing is, from MY experience, scheduling dates too far into the future is also bad. Girls tend to "forget" and flake. A lot.

Oh, .Paradox., .Paradox., .Paradox.....

You actually believed those girls who forgot & flaked on you had high interest? Another sign of brainwashing that women in this country have led you to believe. Girls who have high interest in you not only don't forget dates far off into the future, they call YOU up to remind you for fear that YOU may have forgotten.

You're a dude, so let me ask you: in all your years of dating, have you ever once forgotten to show up for a date with a girl that you were REALLY wanting to get with? The same is also true for women - they have also never forgotten a date with guys that they wanted to actually get with. You know who they DO forget dates with? Guys they're just iffy about or who they have LOW INTEREST in.

And, in answer to your question, it's not about striking while the iron's hot, it's about being PATIENT and recognizing that, when you're first starting out, a girl will like you more if you spoonfeed yourself to her vs. automatically being available to contact her at all times.

It's kind of like eating a dessert. I like Cinabons immensely, and look forward to eating them all the time. However, part of the reason for that is because they're not a regular part of my diet. I'll get a six-pack of buns, eat them within the span of 2 or 3 days, then go without them for a month-and-a-half. Why? Because then, when I DO eat them again, I'm estatic that I've ordered them and willing to eat more of them at one time. However, if I ordered a 6-pack every day, by the fourth day I'd be tired of it, and by the end of the week I'd be like "eh, I don't think I need to be eating these so much..."

The same is true with a new girl: she needs to not hear from you all the time so that she can fantasize about you and look forward to hearing from you again. If you're constantly hitting her up, or doing it during times you know she'll be busy (i.e. when on VACATION), she's going to appear to like it at first, then start to tire of it. Always play it on the side of being patient. Again, six days is NOT a lot of time. I've dated girls who had jobs that required them to go out of town for 1 to 3 weeks at a time, and when they'd get back they'd be ready to jump my bones because they hadn't heard from me much during their time away. You don't want to get into the habit of contacting girls so soon after dates - give them the gift of missing you. When she gets back Wednesday she'll be settled and ready to hear from you, at which point anything you suggest (and I do mean ANYTHING ) she'll probably be game for.

But hey, what do I know? Just because I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I met online who I don't text that often and who went away for 3 weeks to Taiwan 3 weeks after we started dating (during which time I only contacted her when she contacted me), doesn't mean I have any idea what I'm talking about. Let us know how it plays out, though!

 

[.Paradox.]

Texted her and had a very short conversation..

Me: Hey! How's *state*?

Her: So nice it feels like spring! How's back home?

Me: I'm jealous! It still feels like winter here lol. But hey, I'm free this Thursday. We should hang out

Her: Okay! I'll let you know my schedule when I get back

Me: Sounds good

Hmmm...

 

[.Paradox.]

parodox, chill. Everything is perfect. Do something else to forget about this girl you shouldn't be asking us for advice for these kinds of things. You're thinking too much. Wait 2 or 3 days till after she is back, if she hasn't messaged you text or call her and see if you can hook something up.

How many other girls are you seeing?

I know.. I haven't posted on this forum in quite a while. It's not like me. 90% of the time it's easy for me to keep any feelings at bay and just not care, but then there's that 10% of the time (hardly ever) where I meet someone I'm super attracted to and BAM! Infatuation. Anyways, I'm supposed to have a new girl coming over tomorrow night, then this other girl who I've seen two other times wanted to visit Wednesday, but I don't really want to because it's going to mess with my day, then this other chick who flaked on me last week hit me up apologizing and saying we should hang out (and f*ck) Thursday - the day I wanted to chill with the girl in the OP.

 

[Married Buried]

Texted her and had a very short conversation..

Me: Hey! How's *state*?

Her: So nice it feels like spring! How's back home?

Me: I'm jealous! It still feels like winter here lol. But hey, I'm free this Thursday. We should hang out

Her: Okay! I'll let you know my schedule when I get back

Me: Sounds good

Hmmm...

Not good. You left the ball in her court. Don't text her again or you will blow it.

 

[Korrupt]

Texted her and had a very short conversation..

Me: Hey! How's *state*?

Her: So nice it feels like spring! How's back home?

Me: I'm jealous! It still feels like winter here lol. But hey, I'm free this Thursday. We should hang out

Her: Okay! I'll let you know my schedule when I get back

Me: Sounds good

Hmmm...

I don't mean to further over-analyze/over-think, but her text can be interpreted in two ways.

Her: Okay! I'll let you know my schedule when I get back.

(1) I'll let you know whether I'm free or not Thursday once I get back.

or

(2) Okay, I'm down to hang out Thursday. I'll let you know what time I'm free to hang-out/what time I get off work.

That's the problem with texting. Interpretation.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Things are being over-analyzed and taken to the extreme in the replies here so far.

On one hand I completely agree with Jammer on that it doesn't matter at all when you contact a girl; if you are a confident man, who is unshakable and goes after what he wants, you call when you want to call etc. A phone call will not change that and if you get a wishy-washy answer, you lost the frame before you picked up your phone anyways.

On the other hand, I also agree with Harry here on the right move being waiting it out until she gets back from vacation. If she wasn't on vacation I would have said to call whenever the phuck you wanted to....

Anticipation builds upon existing attraction in a girl's mind, once she is into you, your absence helps you because the girl assumes your off doing fun things, likely with other women....things brings out competition anxiety, which is why girls end up acting like porn stars early on in the whooo-ing stage.

I see that you hit her up, she sounded like she was happy to hear from you and was also not thinking about being back home since she was enjoying her vacation.

Don't get rattled, she's interested. Wait until she gets back, then hit her up a day or two AFTER you know she's back. Have a set plan in mind and time and get her out for round 2.









PIMP

 

[cola]

Harry was right. She is on vacation and she only met you once. Should've waited till she got back.
That chick isn't a lawyer or doctor she knows her damn schedule next week

 

[.Paradox.]

Not to be a Debbie downer in my own topic, and I hope I'm wrong, but from past experience I already know how this story ends.

-No contact from her since Monday - i.e. she didn't "let me know her schedule."
-I'll shoot her a text tomorrow saying we should hang out Sunday.
-Will get a bullsh!t excuse (e.g. "I'm busy").
-Not wanting to play games, I'll ask her when she's free.
-She will respond "I don't know."

 

[Married Buried]

Not to be a Debbie downer in my own topic, and I hope I'm wrong, but from past experience I already know how this story ends.

-No contact from her since Monday - i.e. she didn't "let me know her schedule."
-I'll shoot her a text tomorrow saying we should hang out Sunday.
-Will get a bullsh!t excuse (e.g. "I'm busy").
-Not wanting to play games, I'll ask her when she's free.
-She will respond "I don't know."

you never know. She might say yes. Don't get so down about it. You got your foot in the door on the first date.

Whatever she does, do NOT lose your cool. If you get a negative reply just wait a couple weeks and try again. do NOT chew her out or let her see you are upset.

 

[.Paradox.]

you never know. She might say yes. Don't get so down about it. You got your foot in the door on the first date.

Whatever she does, do NOT lose your cool. If you get a negative reply just wait a couple weeks and try again. do NOT chew her out or let her see you are upset.

ME: Hey! We should chill Sunday. Grab a drink in blah then Netflix a movie at my place

HER: I've got tonsillitis but I'm about to get medicine so I'll let you know if I'm feeling better

ME: Ouch. Seems like everyone's getting sick recently. I might just dig a hole in my backyard and climb in till summer hits lol. But I hope ya feel better, blah. Shoot me a text and lemme know

HER: Thanks darlin I hate hate hate being sick. I'll text ya when I'm clean again haha

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Not to be a Debbie downer in my own topic, and I hope I'm wrong, but from past experience I already know how this story ends.

-No contact from her since Monday - i.e. she didn't "let me know her schedule."
-I'll shoot her a text tomorrow saying we should hang out Sunday.
-Will get a bullsh!t excuse (e.g. "I'm busy").
-Not wanting to play games, I'll ask her when she's free.
-She will respond "I don't know."

This is late. But I agree with Harry and pimpsicle. You only met her once. If she had higher interest she would've texted you from vacation. By just meeting this chick and texting her while on vacation she has the higher "power" as you were the dude at home she met online. (Online to chicks usually means thirsty dude) and you confirmed it by texting her knowing she was on vacation and everyone knows what the other is thinking when they are on vacation.( Who's she or he possibly meeting?)

Now if you'd known her a while and slept together a few times it's not bad if you both have already shown interest a few times (sleeping together).

No big deal though at this point. What's done is done.

****Instead of going right off the bat as thirsty asking her to hang out. You need to take some less "thirst" off of the texting you did with her while she was on vacation.

Don't "Ask her out" right off the bat.

Send her a text in a day or so after she's back like: "So what did you bring me back from vacation? lol"

If she says something. That's good! (THEN set up a meet to get your gift.)

If she says: nothing.

You reply: Not even a T-shirt? WTF? Tan lines at least? You have to make it up to me now. I'm going to have to see that adorable face of yours in person. No excuses cute stuff! ;P

Play it something like that. Not asking her to see her right away. Start playfully asking her what she brought back for you from vacation.

She may decide with you busting her chops at first you aren't going straight into "needing" to see her again making her possibly not reply or give an excuse.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

ME: Hey! We should chill Sunday. Grab a drink in blah then Netflix a movie at my place

HER: I've got tonsillitis but I'm about to get medicine so I'll let you know if I'm feeling better

ME: Ouch. Seems like everyone's getting sick recently. I might just dig a hole in my backyard and climb in till summer hits lol. But I hope ya feel better, blah. Shoot me a text and lemme know

HER: Thanks darlin I hate hate hate being sick. I'll text ya when I'm clean again haha

Wait a few days now...If you don't hear from her text her:

Uhm excuse me but you forgot to tell me what you brought me back from your vacation? And no I don't want tonsillitis...;P


If you meet a chick ONCE and don't fvck her. She goes on vacation. YOU don't text her. Let her possibly think about you.

If she texts you from vacation: Good.

If you meet a chick and have fvcked her and or several times THEN she goes on vacation. It's ok to text her.

If you already know a chick in real life for a bit. Slept with her a few times. She goes on vacation. It's ok to text her.

Remember. You met her ONCE from ONLINE and DIDN'T fvck her. (Not that that time of the month is in your control but regardless).

You text her showing "insecurity" just by texting her while she's on vacation after meeting her only once. Then she gets back and you ask her to come over to your place to watch a movie. By doing the texting from meeting her once and now telling her automatically to come over (she knows you want sex) she's thinking: "If I fvck this guy we only met "twice" now he's possibly going to become a stage 5 clinger, keep putting pressure on me and I don't need that".

At this point you can only try to salvage it by asking her what she brought you back from vacation. and going off a fun back and forth banter then seeing how it goes and later on telling her you want to see her again. NOT keep asking to hang out at your place right off the bat.

 

[Korrupt]

ME: Hey! We should chill Sunday. Grab a drink in blah then Netflix a movie at my place

HER: I've got tonsillitis but I'm about to get medicine so I'll let you know if I'm feeling better

ME: Ouch. Seems like everyone's getting sick recently. I might just dig a hole in my backyard and climb in till summer hits lol. But I hope ya feel better, blah. Shoot me a text and lemme know

HER: Thanks darlin I hate hate hate being sick. I'll text ya when I'm clean again haha

This girl is fake, a liar, and a teasing scumbag. I bet she wasn't even on her period when you all hung out - she's just a teasing b*tch. Text her next week and say you've got a present for her that she needs to come over and get, then send her a pic of your c0ck.