Anfz said:
ohh k so just to clartify what you have said, it makes no difference when and how as long as you dont come across as desperate,now what makes someone come across as desperate ?
Begging pleading, suplicating, trying to say all the right stuff, trying to please her on the phone, not wanting to step over the boundries, trying to slot into a frame of: I'll have to act so and so, otherwise she wont be impressed and i may loose my only chance.
how to counter it:
Phone her up, be natural as possible, treat it like talking to one of your guy mates if you must, say hi: its xxxx from the other night, i thought i would ring and see if your free this week?! Wait to see what she says:
then ask her what days she is normally free:
Get answer.
the YOU choose one of those dates and choose what your going to do!
dont worry about what the date consists of, as long as it involves just you and her!
Try to make it interesting.
when you have the DATE sorted, tell her:
If there is any reason why you cant make it, let me know and we can sort something out later and i'll do the same for you!
Then say your goodbyes.
Try to avoid small talk on the date call, but if it happens dont worry about it, just the small talk is better for the DATE! but that does not mean its wrong and this is where guys fail, they WORRY too much about WRONG AND RIGHT follow scripted routines and forumla that results in adding to stress.
Now where people go wrong is coming across shy and nervous and feeling put out.
YOU HAVE TO SAY fuc* it and just call her!
you live once dude, syc yourself up and get on the phone and phone her and when she answers remain as 'self' as much as possible, no squeaky new telephone voice, no trying to put on a man voice, this is very much like talking to your buddie.
its easy.
but dont forget even if the phone call does not work out, there is millions more out there that are waiting!
in that worrying about the phone call is natural all men worry about the potential flake, but you have to forget about that shi* and override it and just say fuc* it i am going for this.