"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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when someone asks for your number at work

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Heretolearn

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Hi,


What is the best way to handle when a boss or work colleague asks for your number at work. *assuming you are not interested.

You could say 'I do not date/hang out with work colleagues but that just gives hope that if you were not work colleagues than it would work'. I foresee this may cause problems later.

As you see the person regularly, you want to create a situation where both parties are comfortable and not feeling weird. Also, a way for the asker to save face to colleagues when the asker is turned down for the number.

Please give advice for these 2 situations:

A)
asker: Woman
askee: Man

OR
B)

asker: Man
askee: Woman

OR
C)

asker: Woman
askee: Woman

* just kidding, you wish :)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Phyzzle

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'that just gives hope that if you were not work colleagues than it would work'. I foresee this may cause problems later.
Click to expand...
It won't cause anything later. Why would it? You won't be working there anymore.

How many times has a woman asked for your number? How many times at work?

Threads are much more interesting if you only ask about problems that you have personally encountered.
 
D

DJDamage

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Tell them you have a problem with your phone and that you will give them your email instead.

If she dosn't get that this was a slight brushoff and email's you anyway, then you should respond to the email stright to the point, that you are flattered but you are already seeing someone. If it was just a casual email asking you to hang out, then respond after a few days saying that you are really busy right now but when you schedule opens up you will give them a shout (which of coarse you won't but eventually they will see that you are too buzy for them and leave you alone).
 
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flexion_

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"I don't date people I work with...". If at a later date she doesn't work there and asks you out again then tell her to piss off ... as she no longer works with you. And if this situation ever happens - write a book.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Heretolearn

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I appreciate your responses. Nevertheless, I was hoping for a better solution. I do not like the solutions offered above as it is still leading a person on. t is what this board complains about when the roles are reversed.

In reality, when this has happened to me *girl asks for my number. I generally give my email out as I always need more friends.

In this instance though, a girl is asking me for advice on how to handle a person at her work asking for her number. What do you suggest?
 
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Phyzzle

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In this instance though, a girl is asking me for advice on how to handle a person at her work asking for her number.
Click to expand...
Geez, so why didn't you just SAY that? You're allowed to ask direct questions here.

What do you suggest?
Click to expand...
Well it depends!

If he can take a hint, "I'm too busy" or "I don't date coworkers."

But for clueless social retard chumps, anything other than "NO!" is leading him on. She must say, "NO!" or "get the fck away from me."

Make sense? This guy will either take the hint or not. Not rocket science.
 
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Latinoman

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yendor28 said:
In this instance though, a girl is asking me for advice on how to handle a person at her work asking for her number. What do you suggest?
Click to expand...

If you want CLEAR advice...then be more CLEAR.

Who (boss, peer, subordinate, etc.) is the person asking her for her number? And for what purpose (work or non-work related)?
 
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Heretolearn

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information:

askee is waitress, asker is chef. Asker knows askee has boyfriend. Can only assume non work related purpose.
 
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Phyzzle

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She has a boyfriend? Then say "I have a boyfriend."

Not rocket science.

If he asks again, "are you deaf? I have a boyfriend. That means no digits to other guys."
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Latinoman

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yendor28 said:
information:

askee is waitress, asker is chef. Asker knows askee has boyfriend. Can only assume non work related purpose.
Click to expand...

Well...if she has a boyfriend...then why are you getting involved? It is NOT your business. And for Christ sake, she is a waitress...it is not that hard to make a "career move" in that particular field.

You are acting like a "girlfriend".
 
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