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When she suddenly goes cold

Djjead12

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Ah of course. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

However, the opposite is also true. Out of sight, out of mind.

Saying texting should only be reserved for setting up dates is a tad bit too extreme imo. One ought to find the right balance in order to successful with the opposite sex.
I wonder if people that preach “only text to set up dates” actually follow this. And I wonder what women this actually works on. Are they hot and successful women or ugly fat ones with no other option? I have tried this in practice with good looking successful women. It does not f’n work. They’re reaching out to talk and you’re basically giving them the cold shoulder. Everyone has their phone on them. They know when you’re playing games. They will just start talking to another guy and tell you to F off. This may have worked 15-20 years ago but not in today’s world. Not with women that have plenty of options. You don’t look “cool” being the 1 guy out of 4 not texting. Those other 3 guys are in fact building a connection while you’re waiting for the date to show her how awesome you are. Reality check. The dudes she’s talking to are prob pretty close to your equal or maybe a notch above. If they’re not playing games and putting effort into the relationship and you’re playing it cool, you will lose. Every single time. Again you can’t overdo texting and be needy. But saying you can’t communicate between dates is beyond retarded
 

Djjead12

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Further. Not texting actually comes off as more beta than alpha. You’re confined by a set of rules. That’s not alpha at all. If you’re in a board meeting and you have to take a break just to text, that’s beta.. if you wait around on your phone all day for her to text that’s beta.. there’s nothing beta about texting a girl when you have some free time and she’s actively engaged. If a chick is into you, you’re text game would have to gawd awful to f it up.
 

EyeBRollin

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Are you implying that if a man texts a girl outside of setting up dates then he wont get the girl? Are you saying she wont fvck him? Lol

Guys all across the world do fine texting girls all the time, if that's not what you do then say that then but dont sit up here acting like texting kills attraction because guys get laid all the time by texting,

You need to get out more bro and stop watching all that dating pua sh!t on YouTube its seriously taming your mind
I think you will find in many of those threads the women never had much interest in these men to begin with. It’s not the texting that’s at fault, it’s the lack of interest. Too many men are so starved of female attention that they will put up with anything.

don’t get me wrong, I do agree with you that too much texting can be turn off.

And by the way, how am I limiting myself? I’m not under any yoke of tyranny unlike you. I do whatever I wanna do.
A man shouldn’t do or say things that don’t raise her interest level. Texting doesn’t help; all it can do is lower interest level. Women that are barely interested do in fact walk away from these guys that text... which is exactly why these threads keep popping up. But do you boo boo, keep watching these women run away.
 

EyeBRollin

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I wonder if people that preach “only text to set up dates” actually follow this. And I wonder what women this actually works on. Are they hot and successful women or ugly fat ones with no other option? I have tried this in practice with good looking successful women. It does not f’n work.
Stop rationalizing. She left you bro, you texted her right out of your life.

They’re reaching out to talk and you’re basically giving them the cold shoulder. Everyone has their phone on them.
Read more carefully. Never have I ever suggested ignoring women, even exes that wronged you. Respond in a courteous manner. If a women reached out, make a date. If she reaches out again, tell her to save it for the date. She will either respect it or drop you.

They know when you’re playing games. They will just start talking to another guy and tell you to F off.
No games required. If she tells me to fvck off it’s her loss.

This may have worked 15-20 years ago but not in today’s world. Not with women that have plenty of options. You don’t look “cool” being the 1 guy out of 4 not texting. Those other 3 guys are in fact building a connection while you’re waiting for the date to show her how awesome you are. Reality check. The dudes she’s talking to are prob pretty close to your equal or maybe a notch above. If they’re not playing games and putting effort into the relationship and you’re playing it cool, you will lose. Every single time. Again you can’t overdo texting and be needy. But saying you can’t communicate between dates is beyond retarded
It works on my current girlfriend and worked on the 18 new chicks I had sex with in 2019.
 

EyeBRollin

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Further. Not texting actually comes off as more beta than alpha. You’re confined by a set of rules. That’s not alpha at all. If you’re in a board meeting and you have to take a break just to text, that’s beta.. if you wait around on your phone all day for her to text that’s beta.. there’s nothing beta about texting a girl when you have some free time and she’s actively engaged. If a chick is into you, you’re text game would have to gawd awful to f it up.
Alpha is living by your own “rules.” I don’t text. She can either respect that or find another man to be her text girlfriend.
 

Prettyboy Dee

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A man shouldn’t do or say things that don’t raise her interest level. Texting doesn’t help; all it can do is lower interest level. Women that are barely interested do in fact walk away from these guys that text... which is exactly why these threads keep popping up. But do you boo boo, keep watching these women run away.
You still haven't answered my question so I will ask again and this time dont avoid it.....

If texting is so bad why are there guys who get laid and date women alllll the time who text girls 24/7 send them good morning messages and all? Why are they getting girls then?

If texting lowers interest level how the hell are these guys getting girls then lol

I'm not a big texter myself because I would rather call.......

If the girl likes you texting is not going to make her not like all of a sudden lol.......

Texting doesn't raise low interest but not texting doesnt raise it either, why? Because if shes not interested then it doesnt matter if you text or not.
 

EyeBRollin

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You still haven't answered my question so I will ask again and this time dont avoid it.....

If texting is so bad why are there guys who get laid and date women alllll the time who text girls 24/7 send them good morning messages and all? Why are they getting girls then?

Read my posts more carefully. They get these women in spite of texting.

If texting lowers interest level how the hell are these guys getting girls then lol

I'm not a big texter myself because I would rather call.......

If the girl likes you texting is not going to make her not like all of a sudden lol.......
They’re getting them, not keeping them.

Texting doesn't raise low interest but not texting doesnt raise it either, why?
Interest level is raised by behavior and space over a period of time. She needs space for her feelings to develop. She has to experience the uncertainty of missing you. Then you show up on dates being controlled, funny, and sexual. Texting doesn’t fit any of those categories. The more you text, the more likely you are to say something that turns her off. The more you text, the longer it takes for her to fall for you. She can’t miss you while you’re available, guy.

Because if shes not interested then it doesnt matter if you text or not.
Nothing starts if she’s not interested. Men lose women by lowering their interest. Make sense?
 

Prettyboy Dee

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Read my posts more carefully. They get these women in spite of texting.



They’re getting them, not keeping them.



Interest level is raised by behavior and space over a period of time. She needs space for her feelings to develop. She has to experience the uncertainty of missing you. Then you show up on dates being controlled, funny, and sexual. Texting doesn’t fit any of those categories. The more you text, the more likely you are to say something that turns her off. The more you text, the longer it takes for her to fall for you. She can’t miss you while you’re available, guy.



Nothing starts if she’s not interested. Men lose women by lowering their interest. Make sense?
Let's agree to disagree big bruh, love a good debate here and there......
 

Robert28

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I had a girl I was dating for a year pull this sudden “pulling back” of texting and taking awhile to respond. Instead of confronting her and acting all weird about “are you seeing another guy”, I simply let her get the hell on as far as she wanted. I deserve better than to let people walk in and out of my life so when she eventually tried to talk to me, I was gone. Fvck setting up a date with her. You don’t treat me like that, whether it’s a month or a year. If you can’t get your feelings in order then you have a problem, that’s on you, dint play that push/pull crap with me though.
 

Djjead12

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So as I said earlier in the thread she ended up texting back (Wednesday) but then again went distant after that

Today I just asked her what was up and she said “I think youre a great guy but I’m not there as far as a connection. I know we’re both busy but I need to talk more to feel a connection. Outside of the couple dates we haven’t talked very much other than surface level. I’m really sorry”
I replied .. do you feel you didn’t have a connection and therefore stopped talking .. or we didn’t talk enough and therefore you didn’t feel a connection. She replied “a little of both. Outside of the dates we didn’t talk very much and part of it was i didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry”
because she kept saying sorry I took it as it’s over and didn’t want to drag it out

I just replied “ I feel a more meaningful connection is made when we have those deeper convos in person. It’s difficult to have in depth talks over text. I didn’t want to be texting you like crazy less than 2 weeks in. Bummer though I was excited about you and where I felt things could eventually lead”

She didn’t reply after this

After both dates she texted right after mentioning she had a great time and wanted to get together again. I mean no bs the dates and the convos were solid. Had a good time,
Telling stories, talked about deeper issue .. For our 3rd date we were going to make dinner at my place (this past Monday). So it’s not like I wasn’t escalating. Morning of though she canceled and then eventually went silent. Then today she said she wasn’t feeling a connection.

our first date was 2 fridays ago, second date last Wednesday, 3rd date was supposed to be this past Monday

idk what to think. Part of me thinks another guy. I mean we met on a dating app so I’m sure she’s been talking with other dudes. If it was as simple as wanting to talk more she would have just said that and not ended it because of that.. also I have a kid .. maybe that bothered her and she didn’t want to admit it. She’s 28 no kids. Really good looking and guarantee she gets lot of attention from Dudes on the app. Main reason I’m beating myself up over it is 1 I was into her and 2 I feel like she was really into me .. 3 I feel like I played it about as perfect as I could and still got canned
 
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Clamslammer

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You guys sound like a bunch of school jocks who try to act way too try hard lol

Theres nothing wrong with keeping contact with a girl, I know guys who blow girls phones up constantly and send the good morning messages all the time and they do fine so relax, if she into you then it doesnt matter what you do, obviously don't overdue it but you get the point.

You guys need to stop acting like if you do this or do that then you wont get the girl lol if you dont get her it has nothing to do with something as small as "texting" between dates, its because shes just not into you.

When I was younger I've had women who I called and texted lots and they fvcked me, sucked me, bought me things, let me drive there car around ect. The way you carry yourself is waay more important
The key is to come from a place where your texting comes from a place of business. Your texting should be used warm her up to getting her on the next date not going back and forth about pointless crap.
 

MrWood

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goals of texting should be one thing only...

to induce images and emotions in her, in a sexual and stimulating way so that she cannot help herself from thinking of sex, romance, adventure, fun, learning, and something new and exciting and wanting to meet/be with you.

rapport either draws her into you or she pulls you into her... its about "getting you inside her"
metaphorically that leads to physically.

suggesting ideas of sexuality without being rude will cause her to suggest sex, offering her availability and secrets...
submitting to your lead.


Ive not had a date from actual outside contacts in years (well, one... the 19/20yo last year), OLD 99%
I have had sex at least once every month (sometimes 3-4 partners in a month) over the last YEARS, all from text.

if she goes cold, its usually her... another guy, an ex, etc.
sometimes they realize you are an awesome guy and know they will get feelings and hurt you.
sometimes its as simple as you not checking up... "i thought you forgot about me"
maybe your interest did wane because of her not taking your advance or date offer
maybe they realized the logistics if it will get serious
maybe she isn't really attracted
maybe you acted "nice" or your tone was relationship'ish
maybe you were too aggressive

it really doesn't matter why, so either give her a ping or move on
 
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GioWolf

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So as I said earlier in the thread she ended up texting back (Wednesday) but then again went distant after that

Today I just asked her what was up and she said “I think youre a great guy but I’m not there as far as a connection. I know we’re both busy but I need to talk more to feel a connection. Outside of the couple dates we haven’t talked very much other than surface level. I’m really sorry”
I replied .. do you feel you didn’t have a connection and therefore stopped talking .. or we didn’t talk enough and therefore you didn’t feel a connection. She replied “a little of both. Outside of the dates we didn’t talk very much and part of it was i didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry”
because she kept saying sorry I took it as it’s over and didn’t want to drag it out

I just replied “ I feel a more meaningful connection is made when we have those deeper convos in person. It’s difficult to have in depth talks over text. I didn’t want to be texting you like crazy less than 2 weeks in. Bummer though I was excited about you and where I felt things could eventually lead”

She didn’t reply after this

After both dates she texted right after mentioning she had a great time and wanted to get together again. I mean no bs the dates and the convos were solid. Had a good time,
Telling stories, talked about deeper issue .. For our 3rd date we were going to make dinner at my place (this past Monday). So it’s not like I wasn’t escalating. Morning of though she canceled and then eventually went silent. Then today she said she wasn’t feeling a connection.

our first date was 2 fridays ago, second date last Wednesday, 3rd date was supposed to be this past Monday

idk what to think. Part of me thinks another guy. I mean we met on a dating app so I’m sure she’s been talking with other dudes. If it was as simple as wanting to talk more she would have just said that and not ended it because of that.. also I have a kid .. maybe that bothered her and she didn’t want to admit it. She’s 28 no kids. Really good looking and guarantee she gets lot of attention from Dudes on the app. Main reason I’m beating myself up over it is 1 I was into her and 2 I feel like she was really into me .. 3 I feel like I played it about as perfect as I could and still got canned
She wasn’t physically attracted to you. Seems like you were running Beta game. Did you at least attempt to fvck on the first date so she was aware of your intentions?
 

Clamslammer

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So as I said earlier in the thread she ended up texting back (Wednesday) but then again went distant after that

Today I just asked her what was up and she said “I think youre a great guy but I’m not there as far as a connection. I know we’re both busy but I need to talk more to feel a connection. Outside of the couple dates we haven’t talked very much other than surface level. I’m really sorry”
I replied .. do you feel you didn’t have a connection and therefore stopped talking .. or we didn’t talk enough and therefore you didn’t feel a connection. She replied “a little of both. Outside of the dates we didn’t talk very much and part of it was i didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry”
because she kept saying sorry I took it as it’s over and didn’t want to drag it out

I just replied “ I feel a more meaningful connection is made when we have those deeper convos in person. It’s difficult to have in depth talks over text. I didn’t want to be texting you like crazy less than 2 weeks in. Bummer though I was excited about you and where I felt things could eventually lead”

She didn’t reply after this

After both dates she texted right after mentioning she had a great time and wanted to get together again. I mean no bs the dates and the convos were solid. Had a good time,
Telling stories, talked about deeper issue .. For our 3rd date we were going to make dinner at my place (this past Monday). So it’s not like I wasn’t escalating. Morning of though she canceled and then eventually went silent. Then today she said she wasn’t feeling a connection.

our first date was 2 fridays ago, second date last Wednesday, 3rd date was supposed to be this past Monday

idk what to think. Part of me thinks another guy. I mean we met on a dating app so I’m sure she’s been talking with other dudes. If it was as simple as wanting to talk more she would have just said that and not ended it because of that.. also I have a kid .. maybe that bothered her and she didn’t want to admit it. She’s 28 no kids. Really good looking and guarantee she gets lot of attention from Dudes on the app. Main reason I’m beating myself up over it is 1 I was into her and 2 I feel like she was really into me .. 3 I feel like I played it about as perfect as I could and still got canned
First off never ask a girl whats up...wtf are you thinking. I know what she is thinking now, this guy has no options and is already chasing me. Her vag got so dry when you asked her this.

If she really wanted to talk to you she would have reached out..she has hands, fingers, and a mouth.

Who knows why she isnt feeling it and who cares, she is not going to ever tell you the truth...maybe it was your kid...maybe she didnt have fun on the dates...maybe its another dude.

Use texting to build a little rapport and the idea of the date and ask her out. You dont need to talk after until the date, she is not your gf or wife and if she gets butthurt about this too bad you dodged a bullet with a nut. You are supposed to be a busy man not her entertainment during the week. Tell her go hire a comedian
 

Robert28

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Sorry but this girl is full of crap. If she wasn’t attracted to you, she wouldn’t have gone on a second date with you. I hear all the time women feel a connection with you within 10 seconds of meeting you, so that wasn’t it. This girl is a fat liar and you shouldn’t feel down on yourself. Let her be someone else’s problem. Don’t let her come back though, she’s liable to hit you up later on when whoever she’s talking to doesn’t workout. This girl can’t be honest and up front with you and showed you that in 2 dates, her communication skills are awful.
 

EyeBRollin

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This girl was interested in you, as you had two dates. Unfortunately, she is structured. She wants you to be one of her many orbiters so she can be in control. There’s nothing you can do because she is no good. You dodged a bullet.
 

Djjead12

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She wasn’t physically attracted to you. Seems like you were running Beta game. Did you at least attempt to fvck on the first date so she was aware of your intentions?
no. I mean call it beta game if you want. I’ve had numerous one night stands and banged a lot of girls after the 1st or 2nd date. You have to feel that out though. I usually feel it out by taking the convo in a sexual direction and see how they respond. If there’s hesitation or I sense some uneasiness I’ll back it down and change course. If she continues or escalates then you know shes DTF soon. If you go into EVERY encounter with a girl and try to escalate too fast too soon you’ll def turn off some of them and lose any further chances as a result. Not every girl is going to want to fvck 2 hours into the first date. There’s a feeling out process. I invited her to my place for dinner the 3rd date.. I think that’s self explanatory and she even replied with “inviting me to your place already ;). Sounds good id love to make dinner, I’ll bring the wine ” but when that day came she canceled in the morning. If she wanted to fvck she would have came over. Between 2nd and 3rd date I had my child so we didn’t communicate a whole lot and then she canceled. We still texted a little bit but it was just her asking what I was up to. I’ve done this long enough to know if I say something that fvcks everything up. Even Sunday night she texted saying she was looking forward to tomorrow. So who knows what happened
 

Prettyboy Dee

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no. I mean call it beta game if you want. I’ve had numerous one night stands and banged a lot of girls after the 1st or 2nd date. You have to feel that out though. I usually feel it out by taking the convo in a sexual direction and see how they respond. If there’s hesitation or I sense some uneasiness I’ll back it down and change course. If she continues or escalates then you know shes DTF soon. If you go into EVERY encounter with a girl and try to escalate too fast too soon you’ll def turn off some of them and lose any further chances as a result. Not every girl is going to want to fvck 2 hours into the first date. There’s a feeling out process. I invited her to my place for dinner the 3rd date.. I think that’s self explanatory and she even replied with “inviting me to your place already ;). Sounds good id love to make dinner, I’ll bring the wine ” but when that day came she canceled in the morning. If she wanted to fvck she would have came over. Between 2nd and 3rd date I had my child so we didn’t communicate a whole lot and then she canceled. We still texted a little bit but it was just her asking what I was up to. I’ve done this long enough to know if I say something that fvcks everything up. Even Sunday night she texted saying she was looking forward to tomorrow. So who knows what happened
Easy to see who actually knows what there doing......good post
 
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