Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

When she reacts b*tchy to a neg

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
I'll give 2 examples:

1. Girl tells me she's a bad singer. I know she wants to work with children when she finishes her education, so I say: "You wanna work with children but you can't sing? That's bad..." Her: "What? Just because I can't sing, I can't be good with children?" Me: "Nope, you study for a job where you work with children but you can't sing = FAIL" Of course, I said it all in a joking manner but she responded kinda b*tchy. I think because up till that point I had always been very nice and was always giving her positive attention, she was surprised by my neg. So she says: "Well, that's too bad then.." (sounded a bit like she meant "Well, **** you then..)"turns around to her computer and ignores me like she wants to communicate "ÿou're not being nice to me, therefor I'll ignore you". WTF? I sat there for one minute, none of us said anything, so I just got up and left the room. Later on, when she went home, she said goodbye without looking me in the face, normally she always looks in my face. So...... On one hand, I feel I did the right thing. I have been too nice to her until now, I needed to neg her a bit. She doesn't like it and "punishes" me by ignoring me and acting b*tchy but I won't let her manipulate me with that. On the other hand: maybe I should've made a joke right after the neg so that she wouldn't have a chance to react b*tchy? Or would that have been weak because I would've immediately neutralized the neg?

2. In the club with my best friend. Two girls standing next to us, they walk away after a while. It was very crowded and little space to stand so we took their spots. After one minute or so, they come back again and have no space to stand. I planned to be nice and give them space but tried to be a bit ****y and sort of neg them first. So I look at one of them, smile and say in a joking manner: "Yep, that's what you get when you leave your spot!" She gets this annoyed look on her face, makes the "tssssk"sound and turns her face away from me. WTF? I forgot about her right away after that response and kept standing there without giving her space. Buh-bye, b*tch! Now on the one hand I think it's good that I don't supplicate towards her, on the other hand I think I could've tried to follow it up with a joke so she doesn't ahve the chance to respond so b*tchy.

In other words: should you always follow up with a joke when you neg a girl to prevent this b*tchy response? Or is it weak to do that because by making a joke immediately afterwards, you show that you're afraid of her reaction?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

ThatMysteriousGuy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
275
Reaction score
17
Die Hard said:
I'll give 2 examples:

1. Girl tells me she's a bad singer. I know she wants to work with children when she finishes her education, so I say: "You wanna work with children but you can't sing? That's bad..." Her: "What? Just because I can't sing, I can't be good with children?" Me: "Nope, you study for a job where you work with children but you can't sing = FAIL" Of course, I said it all in a joking manner but she responded kinda b*tchy. I think because up till that point I had always been very nice and was always giving her positive attention, she was surprised by my neg.
Dude, that's not a neg, that's being a total ****.

A neg is a slight comment about something like her hair color, something she's wearing, fake nails, maybe even call attention to a zit. But, telling her she'll be a failure at what she dreams about doing with her life is not quite the same thing and not amusing at all....

You're lucky she didn't do what she felt like doing, kicking you in the nuts.

http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/neg-hit/
"It is important to note that a neg hit is not an insult. Rather, it is an often humorous comment used to communicate active disinterest. New guys often make the mistake of insulting women, or being mean to them. That is not the point of negs, and they should never be used to make women feel bad about themselves.
 

Waking Up

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2009
Messages
116
Reaction score
0
A neg is something humorous for both you and the girl. It's some funny tendency that a girl does that is cute and you call her out on it, like maybe how she squiggles her nose or something, and you playfully tease her about it on a positive level. Being downright insulting and overbearing isn't negging.
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,772
Reaction score
405
lol, okay... Still, I think you're misinterpreting the way it happened. Haha, it probably sounds a lot worse than it really was when you read it. I was really saying it in a joking way, having an extremely unserious tone in my voice, clearly indicating that I was just fooling around with her.

Anyway, even if you think her response was justified, I was just giving an example. I also gave another example, you think that was downright insulting as well? Doesn't matter anyway...if my examples aren't good examples, think up one of your own. My question remains the same: if they respond b*tchy when you act a bit ****y or when you neg them, how should you proceed?
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,615
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
Negs are not designed for one thing only... to weaken a woman's b!tch shield. If you already have rapport and she is warming up to you, then there is no reason at all to use negs. Negs are a powerful but dangerous weapon.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Top