When she asks "What are we?"

[bigneil]

When a seduction is done properly, the woman will eventually ask the man for a relationship and/or commitment. To be honest, I don't have a lot of experience with this, but some. Here is how my recent conversation went (at 2AM, back on my couch, on the 10th date):

Her: "So, what are we exactly?"
Me: "You tell me!"
Her: "No, you tell me."
Me: "Well... you're here... and I'm happy... and I hope you'll stay..."
Her: "I'm happy... " (She stayed).

That was the end of that conversation as we passed out. She did say something about being worried she was just another notch in my bedpost (that's where you do NOT want to reassure her she's the only one - it's good for them to feel that way).

I'm wondering what similar stories you may have regarding this milestone in a relationship, and what the best strategy is to address this. Do you formalize terms or dodge the commitment issue? Note: as with most hot girls you'll start dating, she's got another guy who is (we hope) on the way out. Women often want to secure the new relationship before officially terminating the old one.

 

[Crissco]

Read this bro.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1859773&postcount=33

 

[Burroughs]

Her: "So, what are we exactly?"

You: "air breathing mammals....k"

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I think you handled it well Bigneil. Women love the whole "on the fencepost" idea of romance. Whereas us guys tend to be pretty blunt and straight-forward.

However, if you want the girl to be your GF at this point.. I'd say it's appropriate to state that she is your girlfriend. When the concern of "what are we" is on her mind, she wants to know that it's something more. But it's important to not ask, but claim her as your GF. This shows a sign of dominance, which is obviously sexually selective within human beings.

 

[bigneil]

Thanks Alex, this was the insight I was looking for.

 

[bigneil]

I now remember the precursor to her asking "what are we". I said "What the hell happened? You were going to come over, we were going to have sex, and you were going to leave. Especially the part about you leaving after. But now look what you've done. You just had to go and turn it into a relationship."

 

[Aaron B]

pretend like you have no idea what she means

that's what women do

or give a silly answer

"what are we?"

"humans"

or tell her what she doesn't want to hear:

"great friends"

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

When a girl says that then that means she is close to wanting an exclusive relationship with you.

Never ask the girl the same question. You got to be decisive. What you should say is this

"We cool, we vibin. I'm feeling you and your feeling me. Lets leave it at that and see where it goes".

If it is a girl who is really my jumpoff I say this.

"We homies, We do what we do on the side and go back to our lifes. Nothing more, nothing less."

 

[Aaron B]

When a girl says that then that means she is close to wanting an exclusive relationship with you.

Never ask the girl the same question. You got to be decisive. What you should say is this

"We cool, we vibin. I'm feeling you and your feeling me. Lets leave it at that and see where it goes".

If it is a girl who is really my jumpoff I say this.

"We homies, We do what we do on the side and go back to our lifes. Nothing more, nothing less."

nice, i like it

 

[vatoloco]

I'm wondering what similar stories you may have regarding this milestone in a relationship, and what the best strategy is to address this. Do you formalize terms or dodge the commitment issue? Note: as with most hot girls you'll start dating, she's got another guy who is (we hope) on the way out. Women often want to secure the new relationship before officially terminating the old one.

Well, it depends. If she's been a good girl and she's earned exclusivity, you enter negotiations...

 

[vatoloco]

Edit: Double message

 

[5string]

Her......What are we?

You......Porn stars. Let's go to work.

Kidding aside. I think you did just fine.

 

[loveshogun]

When a seduction is done properly, the woman will eventually ask the man for a relationship and/or commitment. To be honest, I don't have a lot of experience with this, but some. Here is how my recent conversation went (at 2AM, back on my couch, on the 10th date):

Her: "So, what are we exactly?"
Me: "You tell me!"
Her: "No, you tell me."
Me: "Well... you're here... and I'm happy... and I hope you'll stay..."
Her: "I'm happy... " (She stayed).

That was the end of that conversation as we passed out. She did say something about being worried she was just another notch in my bedpost (that's where you do NOT want to reassure her she's the only one - it's good for them to feel that way).

I'm wondering what similar stories you may have regarding this milestone in a relationship, and what the best strategy is to address this. Do you formalize terms or dodge the commitment issue? Note: as with most hot girls you'll start dating, she's got another guy who is (we hope) on the way out. Women often want to secure the new relationship before officially terminating the old one.

Uh oh, spaghettios!

Just kidding. Not much to really look at, here, Neil. I've already said your situation in general is not really one I'd put myself in, but it seems to be working well enough for you to stay afloat.

Your conversation changed nothing. Keep it that way. Minus the cutesy back and forth about you or her saying whatever first.

You can say "never thought about it." Which is closer to the truth than whatever "right answer" you were trying to think of before you stalled.

That's what I told my girl. Eventually, she started introducing me as her boyfriend and I didn't stop her. Meh.