"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

When she asks "What are we?"

bigneil

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
When a seduction is done properly, the woman will eventually ask the man for a relationship and/or commitment. To be honest, I don't have a lot of experience with this, but some. Here is how my recent conversation went (at 2AM, back on my couch, on the 10th date):

Her: "So, what are we exactly?"
Me: "You tell me!"
Her: "No, you tell me."
Me: "Well... you're here... and I'm happy... and I hope you'll stay..."
Her: "I'm happy... " (She stayed).

That was the end of that conversation as we passed out. She did say something about being worried she was just another notch in my bedpost (that's where you do NOT want to reassure her she's the only one - it's good for them to feel that way).

I'm wondering what similar stories you may have regarding this milestone in a relationship, and what the best strategy is to address this. Do you formalize terms or dodge the commitment issue? Note: as with most hot girls you'll start dating, she's got another guy who is (we hope) on the way out. Women often want to secure the new relationship before officially terminating the old one.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

B

Burroughs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
2,171
Reaction score
99
bigneil said:
Her: "So, what are we exactly?"
Click to expand...
You: "air breathing mammals....k"
 
A

Alex DeLarge

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
845
Reaction score
25
I think you handled it well Bigneil. Women love the whole "on the fencepost" idea of romance. Whereas us guys tend to be pretty blunt and straight-forward.

However, if you want the girl to be your GF at this point.. I'd say it's appropriate to state that she is your girlfriend. When the concern of "what are we" is on her mind, she wants to know that it's something more. But it's important to not ask, but claim her as your GF. This shows a sign of dominance, which is obviously sexually selective within human beings.
 
bigneil

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
Thanks Alex, this was the insight I was looking for.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

bigneil

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
I now remember the precursor to her asking "what are we". I said "What the hell happened? You were going to come over, we were going to have sex, and you were going to leave. Especially the part about you leaving after. But now look what you've done. You just had to go and turn it into a relationship."
 
A

Aaron B

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
Messages
910
Reaction score
29
pretend like you have no idea what she means

that's what women do

or give a silly answer

"what are we?"

"humans"

or tell her what she doesn't want to hear:

"great friends"
 
PrettyBoyAJ

PrettyBoyAJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2010
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
339
Age
36
Location
Atlanta
When a girl says that then that means she is close to wanting an exclusive relationship with you.

Never ask the girl the same question. You got to be decisive. What you should say is this

"We cool, we vibin. I'm feeling you and your feeling me. Lets leave it at that and see where it goes".

If it is a girl who is really my jumpoff I say this.

"We homies, We do what we do on the side and go back to our lifes. Nothing more, nothing less."
 
A

Aaron B

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
Messages
910
Reaction score
29
PrettyBoyAJ said:
When a girl says that then that means she is close to wanting an exclusive relationship with you.

Never ask the girl the same question. You got to be decisive. What you should say is this

"We cool, we vibin. I'm feeling you and your feeling me. Lets leave it at that and see where it goes".

If it is a girl who is really my jumpoff I say this.

"We homies, We do what we do on the side and go back to our lifes. Nothing more, nothing less."
Click to expand...
nice, i like it
 
V

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2010
Messages
1,408
Reaction score
65
bigneil said:
I'm wondering what similar stories you may have regarding this milestone in a relationship, and what the best strategy is to address this. Do you formalize terms or dodge the commitment issue? Note: as with most hot girls you'll start dating, she's got another guy who is (we hope) on the way out. Women often want to secure the new relationship before officially terminating the old one.
Click to expand...
Well, it depends. If she's been a good girl and she's earned exclusivity, you enter negotiations...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

5

5string

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
Messages
2,348
Reaction score
116
Location
Standing At The Crossroads
Her......What are we?

You......Porn stars. Let's go to work.

Kidding aside. I think you did just fine.
 
L

loveshogun

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 19, 2009
Messages
719
Reaction score
35
bigneil said:
When a seduction is done properly, the woman will eventually ask the man for a relationship and/or commitment. To be honest, I don't have a lot of experience with this, but some. Here is how my recent conversation went (at 2AM, back on my couch, on the 10th date):

Her: "So, what are we exactly?"
Me: "You tell me!"
Her: "No, you tell me."
Me: "Well... you're here... and I'm happy... and I hope you'll stay..."
Her: "I'm happy... " (She stayed).

That was the end of that conversation as we passed out. She did say something about being worried she was just another notch in my bedpost (that's where you do NOT want to reassure her she's the only one - it's good for them to feel that way).

I'm wondering what similar stories you may have regarding this milestone in a relationship, and what the best strategy is to address this. Do you formalize terms or dodge the commitment issue? Note: as with most hot girls you'll start dating, she's got another guy who is (we hope) on the way out. Women often want to secure the new relationship before officially terminating the old one.
Click to expand...
Uh oh, spaghettios!

Just kidding. Not much to really look at, here, Neil. I've already said your situation in general is not really one I'd put myself in, but it seems to be working well enough for you to stay afloat.

Your conversation changed nothing. Keep it that way. Minus the cutesy back and forth about you or her saying whatever first.

You can say "never thought about it." Which is closer to the truth than whatever "right answer" you were trying to think of before you stalled.

That's what I told my girl. Eventually, she started introducing me as her boyfriend and I didn't stop her. Meh.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top