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When Her Ex Still Follows Her on Social Media

Smartone84

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It’s not passive or agressive in any way. I was very sincere. Very. Men don’t grow without experience.
You guys are trying to solve women. It’s already solved. They have a dualistic sexual biological strategy. You can’t remove it like an appendix or a wart. You can’t evolve a man enough for her to suddenly cause a mutation in her hardware programming and make them “love” you or anything beyond their children and family.

If you think it’s a bluff, then go with that. You have to learn somehow. Might as well be with this one.
If you're not being passive aggressive you're definitely acting like a know it all who is also basically saying that I don't know jack sh-t about women. Your implication is that simply bc this chick's ex follows her on social media and likes her photos is an absolute good enough reason to abort any form of a LTR pursuit with her. Perhaps instead of you telling me i'm going to get my a$$ kicked in this and that I "have to learn somehow" you actually, you know, explain your thoughts
 

Blacksheep

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Call me paranoid or call me smart, but after having a bad experience with a plate's ex coming back into the picture and her kicking me to the curb for him, I feel it's my duty as a person and as a man to protect myself the best I can.

I've been dating this girl for a few weeks and it's been going very well. Four dates. Great convo. Great kino. Sex probably happening on the 5th date. She told me she's already told her mother about me. She bought for me a pair of gloves on the 4th date after I told her I was cold the last time and didn't have any.

The first negative (and imo its a sort of a big one for me) is that she's a bit of an Instawh0re. She doesn't post every single day but when she does it's the typical garbage. Perfect poses, perfect shots, the attention grabbing photos we all know. Likes up the wazoo. Bikini photos, traveling photos, doing random stuff photos, you name it, it's on there. We follow each other.

The REAL negative issue though, is her ex, whom she broke up with in September 2019, who still follows her on instagram. Now, SHE does not follow him thankfully, but they are in fact friends on Facebook. Reason of breakup? He was "unfaithful".

#1- She tells me on our second date that he's reached out to her THIS PAST SUMMER trying to get back together, saying he made a mistake/is sorry, etc, but she wasn't interested.

#2 - The guy likes ALL SORTS OF HER PHOTOS on her instagram.


I don't know about everyone else but for me, everytime I've gone my separate ways with a plate, I cut them off of social media. It's just for the best. Now clearly she loves the attention I'm sure. What instawh0re doesn't? But when you're dating a new guy (me) is it really smart to still let ex's follow you on social media? Not to mention be friends on Facebook? And have them like your photos left and right? (fyi she still has one tagged pic of them together so i know who he is)

Bottom line these things just concern me. I'm curious how would all of you handle this? We all know the famous "High Score Theory" and I believe it to be 100% true. The last thing on Earth I'm up for is dating this girl for a couple of months, learning to like her a hell of a lot, then maybe she gets bored and ditches me to go back to him and I'm left f-cked over and hurt.

She's told me she is 100% looking for a LTR at this point and how she's been hurt in the past a lot, yada yada yada, but as convincing as she may seem, this ex bf situation makes me very nervous and I wouldn't put anything past a chick in this day and age.
She is looking for a LTR but still keeps her ex on her Instagram? Thats a good way to show that.

She probably still has feelings for him, and dating another guy is like a showcase to try to hurt that ex bf.

My advice is to stop dating this girl. If you start to create feelings for her you're gonna be hurt by this.

Just leave while its soon.
 

Smartone84

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She is looking for a LTR but still keeps her ex on her Instagram? Thats a good way to show that.
I agree, it's not a good look, and she should be old enough (30) to know that in this day and age of social media that I know exactly who he is. Especially since a tagged pic of her still exists with him.
 

TheFinalLine

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If you're not being passive aggressive you're definitely acting like a know it all who is also basically saying that I don't know jack sh-t about women. Your implication is that simply bc this chick's ex follows her on social media and likes her photos is an absolute good enough reason to abort any form of a LTR pursuit with her. Perhaps instead of you telling me i'm going to get my a$$ kicked in this and that I "have to learn somehow" you actually, you know, explain your thoughts
My mistake. I assumed you have been in the forum a while. DO NOT abort. Follow it through. All I ask is that you observe. She is going to kick your arse because you believe in something that doesn’t exist and she knows that.

The optimum condition for a woman is one loyal man who cares for her emotional needs, security, shelter etc. and the use of other types of men for her biologically controlled breeding, without the care giving man every knowing. This is an optimal condition. Even if she’s clueless to it’s existence. She just operates on her biologically controlled emotions.
 

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Blacksheep

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I agree, it's not a good look, and she should be old enough (30) to know that in this day and age of social media that I know exactly who he is. Especially since a tagged pic of her still exists with him.
She knows about that, and I think she is not silly... She is doing that on purpose.

The real thing you have to keep in mind is: while you're losing your time with such a woman, there could be another woman out there that would be way better and mature than an old 30yrs old chick who still loves her ex.

Believe me when I tell you this... I waste too many time of my life with stupid women. It's a time that I know it will never go back.
 

Blacksheep

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The real issue is the insta*****, not the ex who is a symptom
I couldn't agree more.

Learned that with bad experiences.

For a LTR, not having Instagram is the first principle for me to think about starting a relationship. This social media stuff is messing with people's mind.
 

LARaiders85

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I couldn't agree more.

Learned that with bad experiences.

For a LTR, not having Instagram is the first principle for me to think about starting a relationship. This social media stuff is messing with people's mind.
I'm more middle of the road on it. Attractive women WILL want to show off. The question is whether it's in moderation and done tastefully or not.

I'll also add, the biggest thots I know have very chaste social media bc they have controlling boyfriends or bc they want to present a certain image that isn't true.
 

Smartone84

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I'm more middle of the road on it. Attractive women WILL want to show off. The question is whether it's in moderation and done tastefully or not.

I'll also add, the biggest thots I know have very chaste social media bc they have controlling boyfriends or bc they want to present a certain image that isn't true.
I don't know how much it means or how much it "helps" her case, but she's not out of control on it to the point of daily posts or endless stories each day. She posts a photo i'd say on average of once every 2 weeks. But that being said it still doesn't change the fact that her IG is still loaded with all sorts of hot attention seeking photos with all the perfect poses/captions, likes up the wazoo, etc, you know the deal.

The account is also public so it's obvious she WANTS to be seen as well. She even told me flat out how guys creep into her DM's on occasion and she finds it "weird" (AKA she loves every one of them)

Just a shame bc she's a really nice/cool chick in general.
 

LARaiders85

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I don't know how much it means or how much it "helps" her case, but she's not out of control on it to the point of daily posts or endless stories each day. She posts a photo i'd say on average of once every 2 weeks. But that being said it still doesn't change the fact that her IG is still loaded with all sorts of hot attention seeking photos with all the perfect poses/captions, likes up the wazoo, etc, you know the deal.

The account is also public so it's obvious she WANTS to be seen as well. She even told me flat out how guys creep into her DM's on occasion and she finds it "weird" (AKA she loves every one of them)

Just a shame bc she's a really nice/cool chick in general.
Just seems like everyone has at least one deal breaker these days...my standards for character are at an all time low.
 

derby1

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Just seems like everyone has at least one deal breaker these days
have you seen womens figures? i was watching some 70s movie footage locally filmed, and every woman had a curvy fertile figure around a size 6! .......it was totally normal and no big deal.

these days a woman only needs healthy blood pressure and shes a QUEEEEEEENN
 

derby1

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The account is also public so it's obvious she WANTS to be seen as well. She even told me flat out how guys creep into her DM's on occasion and she finds it "weird" (AKA she loves every one of them)
does she speak well of her dad
 

derby1

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Didn't really get into details. She only told me that she's closer with her Mother rather than her Father but that's about it.
we have an epidemic out here of fatherless or weak fathered girls, you dont want to date one, they need constant male validation, for which they are experts at achieving whilst playing the princess/victim.

losing one of their orbiters sends them into a complete meltdown, theyve probably never met the guy but this is the way they think/behave
 

Mazer

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Treat her as a plate, nothing more and please be dating/sleeping with other women. I fear from your post, you are headed down a path you are not going to necessarily enjoy.
 

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BackInTheGame78

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You are putting the cart before the horse with her and worrying about things you don't need to be.
First of all, the last girl was a plate. Those drop off on their own every few months anyway. People who expect plates to stick around forever are simply delusional. They aren't your GF, and there is a reason they aren't. Accept the situation for what it is.

Second of all you haven't even had sex with this new woman and have only been on 4 dates. Why are you already thinking about a long term relationship? What has she done to earn this other than showing you some form of interest. Furthermore your job isn't to worry about a relationship its to have fun and create opportunities for sex to happen and then make them happen.

To me this simply says you have no options and you go for the first woman to show any interest in you like a little puppy dog in the store window going crazy for anyone who stops to look at them hoping they take them home.

Keep dating other women and make this woman earn her place as your girlfriend if that is what happens. You giving this status away so easily is what is getting you kicked to the curb more likely than anything else. That which is easily available has little value.
 

Smartone84

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You are putting the cart before the horse with her and worrying about things you don't need to be.
Look I get that she's just a plate but you need to understand I've been hurt/f-d over in the past and I'm simply being cautious. The chick told me flat out that the ex reached out and tried getting back with her this past summer. I think any normal guy would be a bit concerned if he came across seeing said ex liking every single photo of the girl he's been putting time, money and effort into the last month and is about to bang. Not only that, I know this isn't exactly viewed as acceptable around here, but we've both talked a bit at this point about how we are definitely looking for LTR's. I'm 36. She's 30. I promise you I'm trying to spin other plates still, but i'd be lying if i didnt say she is up top right now and has much more of the focus.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Look I get that she's just a plate but you need to understand I've been hurt/f-d over in the past and I'm simply being cautious. The chick told me flat out that the ex reached out and tried getting back with her this past summer. I think any normal guy would be a bit concerned if he came across seeing said ex liking every single photo of the girl he's been putting time, money and effort into the last month and is about to bang. Not only that, I know this isn't exactly viewed as acceptable around here, but we've both talked a bit at this point about how we are definitely looking for LTR's. I'm 36. She's 30. I promise you I'm trying to spin other plates still, but i'd be lying if i didnt say she is up top right now and has much more of the focus.
Well...all I can say that until you embrace a mindshift with women you are going to continue to be hurt and f'd over because you are taking the woman's role and seeking LTR's when you should be letting her take that role and simply be worried about creating fun and opportunities for sex. The crazy part is you arr actually HURTING your chances to get what you want by acting like this even though you are showing her that is what you want.

I've been there...I understand what you are saying but believe me, women WANT you to be a challenge and be tough to lock down and get into a relationship. They want to have to work hard to get you. That is part of how you get them to fall in love with you. All that time they spend thinking of you and their uncertainty of things when they are away from you ends up creating obsessive levels of attraction. The more time a woman spends thinking about you the less time they can spend thinking of someone else and eventually they start feeling like they must be falling in love with you if they can't stop thinking about you.

No woman wants to know how the movie ends 5 minutes in...it kills their excitement of finding out and riding the roller coaster of emotions with all twists and turns. Part of your job as a man is to provide that for them and you do this letting them be a little bit unsure...you plant seeds of doubt and let her water them. Over and over again research shows that women are much more attracted to men they are unsure about how they feel towards them.

Right now you are in danger of becoming that.
 

Smartone84

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I've been there...I understand what you are saying but believe me, women WANT you to be a challenge and be tough to lock down and get into a relationship. They want to have to work hard to get you. That is part of how you get them to fall in love with you. All that time they spend thinking of you and their uncertainty of things when they are away from you ends up creating obsessive levels of attraction. The more time a woman spends thinking about you the less time they can spend thinking of someone else and eventually they start feeling like they must be falling in love with you if they can't stop thinking about you.

No woman wants to know how the movie ends 5 minutes in...it kills their excitement of finding out and riding the roller coaster of emotions with all twists and turns. Part of your job as a man is to provide that for them and you do this letting them be a little bit unsure...you plant seeds of doubt and let her water them. Over and over again research shows that women are much more attracted to men they are unsure about how they feel towards them.

Right now you are in danger of becoming that.
I get what you're saying and you're right but it has nothing to do with the main topic of this thread
 

TheFinalLine

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He wants the girl. Nothing else matters. Being hurt before is not related and cannot be avoided it the future.

This applies to all men...when you look back on past upsets and pain, you can smile about it. When you realize that it was your own blinded fault, and that you should have been the man you are, there is no more pain. There is wisdom. Trying to avoid pain only pulls it right in the next time.

If it happens to you...it was completely and entirely your fault and/or responsibility. We must put ourselves out there and face the gauntlet or there is no wisdom to follow.

There has been some pretty good advice in this thread. It won’t make any difference. He wants the girl and is indecisive. Without risk he has nothing. Better to get your arse kicked for the price of wisdom than be namby pamby.
 
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