You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You play harder to get. Seems like it used to be if two people liked each other, they clicked w/o the games. By playing harder to get I do not mean totally ignore her, I mean turn about is fair play... You would be foolish to turn her advances down like 5 times in a row. Maybe once ever three or fours times. If she likes you well enough, she will stop with the games.Crissco said:I know about not showing them any attention, is there anything else I can do in this situation?
dittoSoldMySoul said:You play harder to get. Seems like it used to be if two people liked each other, they clicked w/o the games. By playing harder to get I do not mean totally ignore her, I mean turn about is fair play... You would be foolish to turn her advances down like 5 times in a row. Maybe once ever three or fours times. If she likes you well enough, she will stop with the games.
There is the crowd that would say No games period!! I tend to agree a lot with this crowd. I like the 3 strike rule personally, and there are some that say two.. I will give her a fair chance to come correct and if by 3 times she is making no effort, then it is next! Now if she comes back after that, she is placed on the third string team and good enough only for a hit.
NC = No Contact?Scars said:I think "playing hard to get" is a thing of the past. Society has allowed woman to be the chaser, and they do so aggressively. If she is really into you, then she won't be playing hard to get. Some woman have the logic that they don't want to "screw it up", so they act uninterested towards you, but this goes against everything they are. If she FEELS like being with you, then she will bend over backwards to make it happen. NC should be used as a means of punishment if she is acting up. So if she is being a b!tch, then it's probably more or less her lack of interest rather than "playing hard to get", which NC can easily resolve.
-Scars
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You can try what I did with my last ex when I was asking her out and kept getting the same crap. One night, I invited her to come to a party, and after she sent me a txt saying she's at some show, "maybe later if blah blah", my reply was: "Get your arse here, NOW." She did as I told, was very submissive that night and we hooked up.muddy_waters87 said:Anywho...I'm in a similar situation right now. I have gotten a whole crapload of signals from this girl, and when I asked her out she said "maybe, if I'm not busy." I think she is playing hard to get to be honest, but it could be that she lost all interest. Whatever, either way, I need some advice with this as well.
exactlyScars said:I think "playing hard to get" is a thing of the past. Society has allowed woman to be the chaser, and they do so aggressively. If she is really into you, then she won't be playing hard to get. Some woman have the logic that they don't want to "screw it up", so they act uninterested towards you, but this goes against everything they are. If she FEELS like being with you, then she will bend over backwards to make it happen. NC should be used as a means of punishment if she is acting up. So if she is being a b!tch, then it's probably more or less her lack of interest rather than "playing hard to get", which NC can easily resolve.
-Scars
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I've met plenty of women who had a ton on their plate, (school-work, job, etc) and still would bend over backwards to make time for some bad-boy type. Even when they had no business spending hours driving across state or partying, if they like you enough, their feelings can and probably will override common sense. Sounds to me like "too much hw, too busy" is a convenient excuse, at least if she uses it repeatedly. Not in all cases of course, there are women who bury themselves in work, but the typical girl you meet will make time for you if she is interested enough IMHO.Maxtro said:If a girl refuses to spend anytime with you because she is busy with school; is she playing hard to get? Is there any correlation with her interest level?
This.Iron said:I've met plenty of women who had a ton on their plate, (school-work, job, etc) and still would bend over backwards to make time for some bad-boy type. Even when they had no business spending hours driving across state or partying, if they like you enough, their feelings can and probably will override common sense. Sounds to me like "too much hw, too busy" is a convenient excuse, at least if she uses it repeatedly. Not in all cases of course, there are women who bury themselves in work, but the typical girl you meet will make time for you if she is interested enough IMHO.
:woo:joe henny said:If she's playomg hard to get it's cuz she doesn't want you to to get her, duh
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.