Today some junkie asked for 60 cents. I told him no and went into a 'coffeeshop'. Outside again, he spit on me. I was thinking: why would I beat up someone like that. Later I thought that response was based on fear. What is your personal boundary?
You really couldn't spare 60 cents?babsan said:Today some junkie asked for 60 cents. I told him no and went into a 'coffeeshop'. Outside again, he spit on me. I was thinking: why would I beat up someone like that. Later I thought that response was based on fear. What is your personal boundary?
that's not the point. the point is he doesn't feel like passing out money to a lazy bum. that's not his job. but yea imo fighting shows a major lack of control, and to a greater extent, character. if you can't calmly diffuse a situation, why would you be considered someone worth getting to know (by girls)?Rhoto said:You really couldn't spare 60 cents?
Ok then, what would you've done?(JJ) said:that's not the point. the point is he doesn't feel like passing out money to a lazy bum. that's not his job. but yea imo fighting shows a major lack of control, and to a greater extent, character. if you can't calmly diffuse a situation, why would you be considered someone worth getting to know (by girls)?
DJVladdy said:Interceptor, man get real. I know what kinda stuff you write - that you know life better than me and most these other guys put together. but you gotta get real with this guy.
it is true it's much easier said than done cuz of testosterone and everything, but if i was in the same situation, a dominant period of eye contact/glare would most likely do the trick. and if he pulls a knife its a little different. that IS something that warrants protecting yourself. spits on a girl is almost the same thing as if he spits on you. you take care of it remaining calm and dominant at the same time by getting in his face and doing the glare thing again, or maybe even saying something to him. and im not saying don't give him money if that's what you want to do. but don't be intimidated into it. i damn well better know my hard earned money's going to a good cause before i hand it out.Rhoto said:Ok then, what would you've done?
say "Now thats not nice Mr. Crackhead"
The bum chose his lifestyle, and by giving him sixty ****ing cents, you'd made his day a little easier.
Spitting can be tried as battery, I've seen it.
What happens if had pulled a knife on you? Or spit on a girl you were with?
(Get over it.)
EDIT: OK I reread this.DJVladdy said:I didn't read ur post in Tips but i think something was titled "boundaries and standards" something like that... this kid HAS NONE. I'm saying you are wise and you know alot about life, but you also have to call a square a square and circle a circle. If a guy's being a bytch, tell him to stop being a bytch, and never let any1 fvck wit you like that.
babsan said:nah, ya'll misunderstanding. I should've been more descriptive. It wasn't a homeless guy, I think.
I don't care about legal backing or not, being spit on felt like a first punch. All I did was chicken out and make a sign like 'next time I'll kill you'. So I was intimidated by this random addict. Ah well, he's not even worth to fight.
Interceptor said:My response woudl be that I cannot control his lack of control and have to realize that he is his own worst enemy.
If you cound't avoid hium, and he spit at you, you have to deal with that.
Him spitting on you is NOT life threatening. So you cannot justify phsical force on him for that reaosn.
It is a form of Battery though. And you coudl press charges.
Bascally, if you felt Anger then, you weren't in control of your emotions, and did NOT make a good Threat Assessment then.
I would get annoyed, yeah of course. His action was entirely uncalled for.
But not go and kick the guy's ass.
We use our SD/MA skills in Self Defense scenarios in which we cannot escape or are protecting some one from harm.