oneboy21
Senior Don Juan
How you guys deal
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
When chicks talk about ex bf/bf's?
- Thread starter oneboy21
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
General rule: Nip it in the bud the first time it happens.
Make a face like she just dropped a big fart and it stinks bad.
Lean away from her and wave your hand as though to fan away the stench and say "I don't want to talk about your exes."
Do it in the same tone you would as if you were telling someone "you stink" (ie. gross, ewww, yuck, etc.) She is essentially filling the air around you with "shyt". Treat her accordingly.
If she doesn't stop or tries again later you have to lay it on the line right then and there. (Or allow it to happen and become her emotional tampon.)
You: "Listen you seem great but it sounds like you are still hung up on your ex."
You: Eject and wait for her to stop you. If she doesn't, then you're better off anyway. She should apologize and get the hint from then on.
Make a face like she just dropped a big fart and it stinks bad.
Lean away from her and wave your hand as though to fan away the stench and say "I don't want to talk about your exes."
Do it in the same tone you would as if you were telling someone "you stink" (ie. gross, ewww, yuck, etc.) She is essentially filling the air around you with "shyt". Treat her accordingly.
If she doesn't stop or tries again later you have to lay it on the line right then and there. (Or allow it to happen and become her emotional tampon.)
You: "Listen you seem great but it sounds like you are still hung up on your ex."
You: Eject and wait for her to stop you. If she doesn't, then you're better off anyway. She should apologize and get the hint from then on.
jafyk
Master Don Juan
If you read the "The Book of Pook" you will learn that a chick talking about her bf is often an insight as to what is going on in that relationship. Listen to what or how she talks about him. If she's saying good things about him etc then she's not interested in you. If she's saying bad things about him then she's hinting at wanting you to rescue her.
Buddha_Mind
Master Don Juan
Go.ddamn nothing annoys me more than that -- slick laid down some solid advice -- when will chicks understand nobody wants to hear about all of that?
Switch subjects. Say, "I'd rather talk about the present and exciting things going on right now", or "I'd really rather not talk about those things, let's talk about something fun between us instead". Draw her attention back to both of you and the present and exciting things for the future. Don't go down into her relationship past-tunnel with her, it will end with both of you depressed -- her re-living her past broken relationships, and you hearing way more info on things you never wanted to know anyways!
Trust me, no matter how inviting it seems, be very vague and general at the very MOST about past relationships and hearing anything of hers diverge, diverge!
If she refuses to stop blabbing about it, clearly she's got some **** she hasn't dealt with and you ought to find a chick more emotionally available!
my 2cents!
Switch subjects. Say, "I'd rather talk about the present and exciting things going on right now", or "I'd really rather not talk about those things, let's talk about something fun between us instead". Draw her attention back to both of you and the present and exciting things for the future. Don't go down into her relationship past-tunnel with her, it will end with both of you depressed -- her re-living her past broken relationships, and you hearing way more info on things you never wanted to know anyways!
Trust me, no matter how inviting it seems, be very vague and general at the very MOST about past relationships and hearing anything of hers diverge, diverge!
If she refuses to stop blabbing about it, clearly she's got some **** she hasn't dealt with and you ought to find a chick more emotionally available!
my 2cents!
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
oneboy21
Senior Don Juan
This chick mentioned about her ex while testing and she also texts telling me they are going to a party for new year eve. She also tells we were dating for a longtime and he always make me laugh!
This. I learned it the hard way with one chick who went brought her ex up in nearly every damn conversation. It took me longer than it should have to realize that she just wanted someone to listen to her whining and didn't have any real interest in me at all. Ah well, live and learn.Buddha_Mind said:
Then don't waste another minute on her.oneboy21 said:
Maximummax
Senior Don Juan
Next her
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
I don't bother with chicks who have boyfriends so as soon as she brought it up I'd move on and look for someone available.
According to Pook, the difference was between feelings and actions. If a girl talks about feelings, the girl is attached to the guy. If a girl talks about the boyfriend’s actions then you can take action.jafyk said:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
oneboy21
Senior Don Juan
This is what she said
"Yeah should be fun, we dated for years I see him a lot. He makes me laugh which is good"
"Yeah should be fun, we dated for years I see him a lot. He makes me laugh which is good"
I swing the conversation away from it and if they swing back to it more than once after that (I operate on a 2 strikes rule, not including the playful warning) I cut the outing short and bounce. If they want to talk about the ex that means they want you to be their tampon. They have gay friends for that.oneboy21 said:
jafyk
Master Don Juan
Well, she's not interested and seems happy with her relationship. Now you know not to waste your time. You move on.oneboy21 said:
So, in reference to the some of the above posters. At least if she starts talking about the boy friend and if the feelings she associates with him are good ones. I guess you can then move on. However, if they bad ones then (1) You know she needs a change (2) she will give you inside info on what he did that was bad and with this knowledge you can know how to go about getting her.