When a friend’s mom opens up unexpectedly

[jhonny9546]

Twice a month, I attend a painting class.
There are several people there, including a friend of mine and her mother.
My friend is 25 years old and has been in a relationship for 8 years.
Her mother is 50 and still married.

I’ve been going to this class for 3 months now, and just yesterday, while we were painting, my friend’s mother suddenly paused and started telling me how her BIL had hidden a LTR with another woman while being married...for 15 years.
She also shared how he recently broke up with that woman and is now with this hidden partner.
I didn’t ask for it, so I was left wondering:
Why would this woman tell me all of that, unprompted?

I’ve often heard stories of older women who, when attracted to someone, might initiate flirtation or give DIRECT invitations by sharing personal or revealing stories like this. Was this her way of hinting at having an affair with me?

I want to make it clear, I’m only trying to understand and learn. I wouldn’t pursue an affair with this woman.
But I DO want to figure out what she really meant, without causing drama or disruption. So I want to go furter to "test" her real intentions. What would you do in my place?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Those other stories you heard (about older women being direct) came from countries other than Italy. This woman wants your D and this is her Italian way of expressing it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Why would this woman tell me all of that, unprompted?

-She needed someone to "spill" to

-You were nearby

Frequently enough, the most prosaic and unglamorous answer to such questions is also the truth

 

[Mike32ct]

She’s just very comfortable with you. Sharing gossip is a usually a sign of friendship or friendzone.

I would also add that she wasn’t talking about her own relationship status. She didn’t say “I just got divorced. I’ve been really lonely lately.”

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You should test the waters since you're curious OP, Ask her how she thought her BIL"s married sex life was. See if she gets flushed and tingly.

 

[jhonny9546]

Thanks anyone joining the discussion.
I'd like to ask so how could i test the water, other than @BillyPilgrim good example?

I just want to go further (but no **** her) to let her tell me to come to her house or to do that, and at that point I know what she wanted from the start.

Sharing gossip is a usually a sign of friendship or friendzone.

Not if she touches you on your forearm sometimes to ask for more colors.
Which are other signs she's gossiping with you, not because your her friend, but because of genuine desire?

 

[Mike32ct]

Not if she touches you on your forearm sometimes to ask for more colors.
Which are other signs she's gossiping with you, not because your her friend, but because of genuine desire?

I would consider how she touched you. A very quick tap on the arm is friendly. Holding her fingers on your arm for a few seconds can be a sign of attraction.

I would also consider her facial expression while telling you gossip stories. A friend will have a more serious facial expression except for the funny or scandalous parts of the story. Eye contact is less between friends. Someone who is attracted will have much stronger eye contact, might blush, will giggle more, etc.

 

[jhonny9546]

I would consider how she touched you. A very quick tap on the arm is friendly. Holding her fingers on your arm for a few seconds can be a sign of attraction.

I would also consider her facial expression while telling you gossip stories. A friend will have a more serious facial expression except for the funny or scandalous parts of the story. Eye contact is less between friends. Someone who is attracted will have much stronger eye contact, might blush, will giggle more, etc.

Can confirm the attraction, everything is in place.
So this is why I made the post in the first place.
I just wanted to go further to udnerstand what she want, but I don't want to put my penis inside of her

 

[Mike32ct]

Can confirm the attraction, everything is in place.
So this is why I made the post in the first place.
I just wanted to go further to udnerstand what she want, but I don't want to put my penis inside of her

Ok, good. I wasn’t there to see the body language, but I believe you about the attraction.

Does she ever ask or comment about YOUR relationship status? Are there any questions or comments about you having a girlfriend?

I don’t know what her intentions are beyond just being attracted and sharing some fun stories with you.

 

[jhonny9546]

Ok, good. I wasn’t there to see the body language, but I believe you about the attraction.

Does she ever ask or comment about YOUR relationship status? Are there any questions or comments about you having a girlfriend?

I don’t know what her intentions are beyond just being attracted and sharing some fun stories with you.

They always play around with my name, like, “Jhonny is still single, haha,” or “You coming to Jhonny’s party? Maybe we’ll finally meet your girlfriend!”
Sometimes they even bring my mom into it (since they know her): “Your mom already has two grandkids from your sister… wonder how many more she’ll have in the future,” wink wink.

Yes subtle allusion are present. Not only from her, but many girl in my life.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Sounds like she needs someone to check her oil. OP should take one for the team.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP if you want to spur the action make up a story or tell one from you life involving some kind of scandalous affair, and then tie it back to her story. You want to create a theme of "dead bedrooms" and see if she bites. You have a cheating relative that you know of, right?

Or talk about an affair you saw in the movies or tv or something. You want her to agree with you that dead bedrooms are a real problem for people in society and that affairs are normal.

Start those rationalization wheels spinning...

 

[jhonny9546]

OP if you want to spur the action make up a story or tell one from you life involving some kind of scandalous affair, and then tie it back to her story. You want to create a theme of "dead bedrooms" and see if she bites. You have a cheating relative that you know of, right?

Or talk about an affair you saw in the movies or tv or something. You want her to agree with you that dead bedrooms are a real problem for people in society and that affairs are normal.

Start those rationalization wheels spinning...

This sounds good! Yes I have IRL examples to tell her.
Then I will see if she will go deeper