"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Whats your opinion on getting back with EX if YOU were the problem?

Infern0

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Say some girl from a few years back who you were with but at the time you were AFC

If you can look back and see that you fouled up the relationship being needy and clingy or whatever.

Would you give it another whirl or nah?

(Btw not a reality based situation just wondered the concensus)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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PatientOne

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Only for a hook up. There is no way that I would put up with having crap thrown in my face, and you know that a woman will do that.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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It would have to progress naturally. Like I'm not doing **** for her unless she clearly wants it. Then we can start moving forward. But if she starts making fun of me NOW for how I was BEFORE, I'm out. Doubt that I would ever want to get with someone who knew me from way back when though.
 

bigneil

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A few years ago?? It's over. Move on.

A few weeks ago, if you messed up, a real man owns up and admits when they are wrong. Avoid apologizing per se as it only makes a copy of whatever went wrong to begin with. Just say you regret the way you acted.

But you can't say that years later or you look like you're obsessed.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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Generally speaking, I'd say no. I read a long time ago, something about how it very rarely works out again in future, whatever the circumstances were for the break up. Usually one or both has truly moved on or the compatibility isn't there anymore, not for anything serious anyway.

I tried a few times to half-heartedly rekindle a couple of old flames, but would say it might work one time in ten. With absence and time and meeting other people comes experience and reflection. A break up happens usually for quite profound reasons and it's important to acknowledge those, especially for a man.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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AlphaNate

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Nope. She'll always know you as that chump. You don't want to inadvertently re-frame back to what you used to be.

Leave it.
 

sazc

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Even if you can look back and feel that you were the issue, there is still the relationship dynamic between the two people. The real question is - did both people grow in the interim. The problem is that you can truly only answer that for yourself.
 
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