"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Whats with all the text messaging?

silverwex

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Believe what ya want echo but EVERYBODY does it here: 20, 30, 40, 50 year olds! EVERYONE!

Im a good communicator but texting is just normal here.

I dont have a prob talking to a girl. I may be AFC in ways but not because i text girls.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Lone_raider

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I posted a novel about text messaging a while ago, I'm 20 years old but I only got a cell phone capable of it a few months ago. Basically I had no idea how it worked, but girls keep text messaging me! I have almost 30 text messages on my phone right now from one girl in one months time! I only occasionally reply to them if they actually require an answer, but you see it's not like I want to text, girls just keep sending me text messages! lol. And all of the girls that have texted me are over 20, none of them are teenagers, so go figure?!?

However I agree that dates should be set up via phone and in person however, texting is sort of wussing out of it.
 

silverwex

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Actually just when i submitted my last post a HB9 text me asking me did i enjoy my night out on sat. (it was my 21st!)! Coincidence!
 

Blaaaaat

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Originally posted by echo1212
Well, believe what you want, but it is afc and as long as you persist in using it, you are afc's my friend. Get some social skills and learn how to communicate face to face or at least on the phone. I once dated a girl who told me when she lived in France she used to do it, when she was 15. I asked her why she didnt do it now, shes 22 btw, and she responded that it just was extremely lame and accomplished nothing. Not to metnion I would have to say that by the time you got done texting back and forth all of the time, the expense of that would be equal to or greater than one 5 minute phone call. Please, come up with something better. Discuss.
You think like a woman, not logical. Why do you asume that texting implies you don't have social skills??? That's asuming something based on nothing.
 

echo1212

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I am refering to the many many posts on here where a guy will text a girl asking her out, or what she is up to. Isnt a phone call simpler and less time consuming? I realize that talking on the phone actually means some personal involvement and effort to be somewhat interesting on your part, but when you go on a date with a girl, you dont sit there text messaging a girl. That is unless your a commercial for Verizon and your "cool".
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Blaaaaat

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pfff, what a load of crap. texting is an extension to communication, it's not replacing communication. Your assumptions are retarted.
 

mr bum bum

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I can't believe all of the young teen afc's on here. Something like this subject makes you see just how far this forum has fallen from its golden days. Ok, imagine your George Clooney. You meet some hot model at a premiere party. You get her cell number. You then text her a day later wanting to know if shell meet you at your mansion for some ****tails. Yeah, thats exactly what would happen. Right. Guys, can't you see by not admitting that this is afc, you are afc?
 

Blaaaaat

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And yet, another retard.
 

echo1212

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By calling people names and badmouthing them, you are also afc. And you wonder why you think texting to ask a girl out is not afc. Discuss.
 
U

uk sharpie

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hey, Im from England and I gotta agree with echo here. Texting a girl to ask her out is so gay and passive imo. Get some balls and talk to the girl directly for heavans sake. Geez.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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mr bum bum

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Interesting, a english guy against texting. Interesting indeed. Could it be....we are right?
 

takfer1

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Echo is right on this subject..unfortunatly..........he is also gay and enjoys the company of young boys who text him with their homo-erotic adventures. :eek:
 

Ninja Dude

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Simple Answer

Texting is fine, and in fact I enjoy practicing my C&F skills online. But I think texting should only be a small facet of your game. I usually text and do funny negs until I get them to buy me dinner, and then I take my game into the real world. Texting is a useful tool, so I say use it, but don't hide behind it like a little pu$$y.

Oh yeah, and name-calling is total chump behavior and a waste of time. Grow up guys.
 

NYC Dude

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Text messaging is bad for setting up dates, confirming, and for almost anything else relating to DJ'ing for the following reasons:
1) Takes lots more time than a phone call from the phone you're using for a text message.
2) You have the possibility of no response from her for a myriad of reasons.
3) There is much less emotion in reading words on your cell phone than hearing them.

Face it, for anything relating to DJ'ing text messaging, be it on a cell phone or on a computer, is horrible in comparison to talking in person or on the phone. Text messaging on a phone should be used only, and sparingly, in places where talking isn't allowed (libraries, certain government buildings, child-labor sweatshops, etc.) or when the other person is away from their phone, because otherwise you can (and most likely will) get ahold of them by calling.

But text messaging serves its purposes outside of the DJ'ing realm, don't get me wrong. Instant communication between you and whoever has your screename, allowing other people who don't have the guts to use a phone to contact you, and most importantly chat-rooms (which are hard to do on a phone or at any time in real life without planning) make text messaging good for communication.

All in all, what I've said is:
Text messaging is BAD for macking, but it is GOOD for communication.
 

echo1212

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Text messaging, on the cell phone mind you, not the computer, serves no reliable service that I can decipher other than to put more money into the coffers of the large mobile phone carriers.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DreamyChick

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Personally l I don't like text messenging bc it is really hard to type in a response. A week ago in fact, I had a guy text me while he was drunk. He wants us to hang out sometime soon. I typed a short message had trouble and just decided to call him back. Another reason why I don't like texting is for me it is much more costly to send a text then use my free minutes to make a call. Go figure.
 

sailorgirl

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I totally agree with echo. As a girl, when I get text messages asking me out, I next them immeaditely. Any guy that is a MAN would never do such a thing, thats for middle schoolers. Cmon dj's, get some balls and act like a man.
 

Quick

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Well, I see there's confirmation from several girls that asking them out on a date by text messaging will decrease your chances. Echo is right that there is no logical reason to ask someone on a date by text, since you're using a cell phone which you could call her on instead. More personal is ALWAYS better.

Since I don't know Europe, I'm willing to accept that it's so commonplace and so expensive to call that it won't hurt your chances much, but it would still be better to call.

The guy who's name calling isn't making a strong case that text messaging for dates has no relation to social skills.
 

htemorp

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Here's when and why I use text messages. First of all, I only use it among friends and only because I am either in class or very bored, but have nothing to say. So I texted with few bullshiet here and there for the hell of it. Also sometime you really don't want to have a conversation, and text messages often result with yes/no answers and none of that hitting around the bush. For romantic reasons, why the hell would I text message when I can make the call? Fear of rejection, fear of confrontation, fear of not having something clever to say? Whatever it is, you should use the phone and make actual conversation.
 

myfriendblu

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Originally posted by silverwex
myfriendblu: too true.

As said already, its a european thing. absolutely NOTHING to do with being an AFC
Yup,
as you can see, most americans are very pig headed and only want to see things done there way and can't fully comprehend why other people do things different. My opinion isn't biased, im american also. These dimwits don't understand the fact that its alot more expensive to talk on a cell phone in europe and its cheap to text someone. well what do you expect?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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