Been out with this girl a couple of times, nothing's really happened besides kissing. But the last few times I've asked her out she's either canceled or had previous plans (the reasons she canceled were reasonable). Anyway we're texting the other night and I suggest that she let me know when she's free and I'll try my best to be available to hang out (I usually have 1 or 2 nights off a week). She takes that as me being mad and says that if I'm done then that's fine by her. I tried to tell her I wasn't done but it be nice if she'd meet me half way and I want to see her again. And this is the next msg she sends me "I know, but I'm really busy right now. So it's not fair to you cause I'm not able to see you that much at all". I'm not really sure if that's her way of saying she doesn't want to chill or something.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
What's this msg supposed to mean?
- Thread starter Scion
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
SoldMySoul
Master Don Juan
If there was the most beautiful women in the world wanting to see you, would you find the time to make that happen???? I bet you would!
Sounds like her interest level is low and she is doing other things with her time. Come hell or high water, if she wanted to see you, she would.
Hate to say it: NEXT!
Sounds like her interest level is low and she is doing other things with her time. Come hell or high water, if she wanted to see you, she would.
Hate to say it: NEXT!
Thats what it is buddy.Scion said:
Infact, cancelling your date is her way of saying that.
Infact, not going out of her way and being super excited to meet you is her way of saying that.
You're missing the signs of her very low interest in you. She is plainly throwing you around and your being fooled by her girl bs. Stop listening to what she is saying, you know we judge a girl by her actions.
she canceled because of some work stuff. She tried to get someone to do it for her but no luck.Ease said:
I only had 1 other night off since the date she canceled but she already had plans that night.
I know we judge a girl by her actions but maybe a bit of persistance would be good. Either way I'll give up in the next week or 2 if she doesn't become more responsive.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
SoldMySoul
Master Don Juan
Definition of Insanity: Do the same thing again after failure, expecting the same results.Scion said:
Quit trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and quit trying to analyze it then. Forget about her and see what happens.
We gave you a response to your question and you try to justify her actions. That my friend is plain silly. If you do not want honest answers then do not ask questions expecting us to rationalize a woman's behavior. If you were not interested in a women, would you try and see her?
In life persistence pays off, but with a women most of the time you appear desperate and needy. I say back way off if you are dead set seeing this one and you will have your answer soon enough.
I'm not trying to justify her actions. I didn't give you any specific info in my original post, so I was adding. The msg she sent me was kinda weird, we're just seeing each other casually anyway, so why would it matter if she couldn't see me all the time.
Plus no reason to get all pissy because I'm not given up.
Plus no reason to get all pissy because I'm not given up.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Well uh, what was the purpose of asking others for advice if you're just going to make excuses for this girl, and then continue down the same path you were already going down?Scion said:
You went out with her, and nothing happened except kissing. She subsequently canceled or was "too busy" for other dates. You say, "Okay, I'll put the ball in her court." and tell her just to let you know when she's free...she then tries to get you to break things off with her, and doesn't offer to give you a date when she's free. All this through text...the communication channel for people you don't give a f*** about.
Giving her another 2 weeks isn't gonna cause your head to explode. It's just lame. You gotta have some standards for how you're gonna let chicks treat you. And I guarantee you, if this doesn't work out, you'd feel better about yourself if you cut her off early.
It's funny...it seems like you started a thread with the intention of getting advice on how to keep this girl. Or how to raise her interest levels. But no one is giving you that, because all logical signs point to her not being worth your time.
Good luck.
Well wasn't really looking for advice on how to keep her. Either she stays or goes. But never had a girl try and get me to end things, usually they just start to ignore me. Girls don't treat me well to begin with, so I don't really care if things go south. Honestly if I cut this girl off I don't know how long til I'll get another one to be interested in me. I don't feel bad about that or anything, it's just a proven fact.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
nismo-4
Moderator
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If you're still overanalyzing, understand that this girl isn't interested in your ass. Sorry. Get the f**k over it.
You have been found guilty of overanalysis and attempted oneitis development. The fine is undetermined time of unattractiveness and a one way trip to East Friendsville, Michigan. I will dismiss the charge of being a creep.
Case closed. You learned a lesson, especially if you listened to your uncle boomerick.
Rep for him!
You have been found guilty of overanalysis and attempted oneitis development. The fine is undetermined time of unattractiveness and a one way trip to East Friendsville, Michigan. I will dismiss the charge of being a creep.
Case closed. You learned a lesson, especially if you listened to your uncle boomerick.
Rep for him!
Yes I agree now that she's not interested. I talked to her last night after posting this and asked her out for this week coming up. All she said was "I'll let you know". That's basically what every ****ing girl tells me so **** it. Right now all I'd like to do is text her something like "thanks for wasting my time and money, *****". I know that wouldn't be a great msg to send but if I sent her something than what?
Right now I'm really starting to hate women and the game.
Right now I'm really starting to hate women and the game.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Her response almost doesn't matter because you're in control.Scion said:
You control the communication.
Don't worry about what to say next, just go with it man and have fun with it. Chicks love that s**t, don't be so serious and smile when you text or call her.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.