"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

What's the story?

Penalty

Don Juan
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Hey there, Penalty here. Long time lurker, short time poster.

This post comes after alot of thinking. It comes from studying the way we interact with other people in our lives and more on topic, girls. A common mistake I have noticed among my long, long time as a lurker is some guys trying desperately to TELL her how great he is, appealing to that logical side of her.

This brings me to a rather good analogy that applies here, it is the concept of "the story" and a rule that concerns the unraveling of a good story and that is SHOW, DON'T TELL.

Telling implies relaying all the facts. Telling someone something is a logical exchange of ideas. You tell someone you will meet them here at X O'clock. You tell them what you did at school. It all revolves around the relaying of fact and the use of logic.

When did telling a girl you were a great guy ever work in your favour? You have to SHOW her you are a great guy and you have to hook her onto your story. You are most immersed in a story when there is action (not necesarily explosions and gunplay and fighting etc) but when there is tension and the potential for action, and the further the payoff of that action, this is when the story is at its most exciting.

There is a time and a place for TELLING in a story but not all the time. A story needs emotion, it needs tension it needs a "memorable character" - you.

What else can "the story" help analogise?

Well we have your openers. This can be roughly equated to the blurb on the back of a book. A very short window you have to hook your reader and pull her in.

Then we have looks and the physical side. An intriguing cover can certainly draw us and attract us to the blurb. The cover can be mysterious, it could look dangerous, it might look exciting...

The point of this post is just to help drive home the importance of showing a girl who you are and telling her who you are. Let her experience you, not recieve the directors commentary (Okay, thats film, not books! lol). Don't try to make your interaction with her some logical relay of facts, figures and data between you the two of you, it should be an "interesting read" for her. Give it some tension and some action and she will keep reading.

with regards, Penalty
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

nismo-4

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TL;DR!

Penalty, you do bring up a great post, don't get me wrong. It just could've been shortened to just the third paragraph.

The point made simple is that women are emotional and relaying off facts is boring indeed. Showing them whatever adds to the spontaneous surprise factor. Communicating with women is 90/10 action over verbal.

All talk and no show makes Jack a dull boy with blue balls! :crackup:

You get +1 rep!
 

Ease

Master Don Juan
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Good understanding, you highlight something that many people miss.

The fundamentals and principles of attraction and alpha traits that we use lose effect if you verbalize them.

Eg. You make yourself scarce. This is an interest level booster. The method is to simply limit the time you spend with her, reduce communication, and put time between replies to her communication.

Now if you were to one day apply this method, but then declare to her that 'yea i think we should improve our relationship by making ourselves scarce'. Even a more covert attempt and easily made mistake, yet still a mistake, would be to say, 'yea im gona be pretty busy over the next few days/weeks, you shouldnt try to reach me as much i wont be able to reply'.

The effect is completely lost.

Thats why one of the best dj principles is to 'never verbalize your DJ principles'.
 
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