What's the point in being a Don jaun anyway?!

[demonic]

Ok so i've finally got what i wanted, the ability to pull girls and have loads of numbers on my phone...am i happy?...no i'm fking not...if anything i'm even more unhappy than when i was when i could'nt get women.

You ask why?, the constant disconnection and the feeling of being cold inside is not what lie should be.
I can't even feel anything for these girls and it makes me feel that i'm never going to feel anything for any girl.

At the moment i'm just a male ***** who can't make any real connection with any women.

So before you think being a "Don Jaun" is brilliant...stop and think about how it would effect you in the end.

Demonic - a broken DJ

 

[Warrior74]

What else is good in your life besides being a DJ? What else brings you joy and fufillment? Women should not be teh source of your joy, the same way food should not be the source of your joy, or air, or water. Your joy has to come from within. Women are just icing on the cake of life buddy.

 

[Interceptor]

Demonic, what you mean to say is what is the Point for YOU.


Dont make the ideal of a self realized mature masculine man a fault because YOU can't make it 'work' for YOU.


have you tried to find out why you can't connect with women?

Usually the answer is because the man cannot or does not want to connect deeply with HIMSELF.

 

[Mistic]

What this really means is there is little value in mastering the DJ arts before you work a great deal on your own stuff. SO yes, many guys here will learn to get women, and feel as empty as they did before.

 

[DannykDJ]

You're doing it wrong.

You missed the point completely. It's not about pulling lost of numbers or sleeping with as many women as you can. Thats just an added side effect

The goal of is to emotionally mature to the point that you are truly happy with yourself. You have to step out of your comfort zone so you can be happy and aware of who you are.

The reason you are still as unhappy with women as you were without them is because you didn't fix the problems you started with. you are relying on external validation to be happy with yourself, and you will never get enough of it to make you happy.

It seems like you fell into the trap others do of just memorizing techniques without understanding how and why they work and then you call yourself a dj

You just threw a fresh coat of paint on a house thats falling apart on the inside.

 

[DonJuan11]

Ok so i've finally got what i wanted, the ability to pull girls and have loads of numbers on my phone...am i happy?...no i'm fking not...if anything i'm even more unhappy than when i was when i could'nt get women.

You ask why?, the constant disconnection and the feeling of being cold inside is not what lie should be.
I can't even feel anything for these girls and it makes me feel that i'm never going to feel anything for any girl.

At the moment i'm just a male ***** who can't make any real connection with any women.

So before you think being a "Don Jaun" is brilliant...stop and think about how it would effect you in the end.

Demonic - a broken DJ

Sorry bro, IMHO you may have intimacy problems. If you can pull girls left and right but can't get close to them, something is up.

And how can you not be enjoying sleeping with a different girl night after night? That's like not liking driving a Ferrari night after night.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Girls used to laugh at my suit,
Now I got models in bed knocking boots

 

[everywomanshero]

Probably need to spend more time on other hobbies. Too much of anything will burn a person out. Suggest a long vacation somewhere.

 

[crossboss]

Happiness

Is not necessary based on success...Poor people can be happy.

 

[Mistic]

Is not necessary based on success...Poor people can be happy.

Success isn't based on money

 

[demonic]

Thanks for the replies, ok a few things i'll try to exsplain

- i don't use techniques or chat up lines...i naturally pull just by catching they're eye and saying what naturally comes to mind...i would'nt be able to memorise all those cheesy lines and everything

- After thinking about it i think alot of it has to do with the fact i feel INCREDIBLE guilt after having sex with girls because they always want more and i can't tell em straight it was a one off or i used them as i know i'll bump into them again

- Also i think i've drilled home in my head all this hollywood stuff about finding that "one girl" that i'll love and be happy with.

I dunno i just think it's a battle with myself about who i am...think i'm having trouble that i'm just a ****head...the type of guy i wanted to be but now i'm not liking it.

- Also i bet alot more guys have this problem than we think...not just me....i hope lol

Demonic

 

[Al Moh.]

Alright, first of all, let's make a difference here between a DJ and a PUA

A PUA is doing what you are doing. He learns to pick up women and then looks for quantity. And I know that a lot of PUAs fall into this trap of not finding their fulfillment in it. But they shouldn't.

A DJ however, learns that women are just a sideline. You were expecting happiness from being able to pick up women. The DJ however uses the path of selfimprovement. The women aren't the goal. A man is defined not thorugh his success but through the battle. Do you know why I am doing to BC? Not because I want to get into some pants. It would be alright if that happens. But I finally realized that I don't have to do that. I just want to experience new things, push my borders, get mroe comfortable with people and women in general. I am not expecting to find happiness because of that.

I remember this battle inside myself that raged a year ago. It was a battle between my mind and my heart so to speak or rather between what I wanted and my morals. It was similar to what you described. I denied myself the right to have fun with women because somehow education has told me that it's wrong. I don't know exactly how I broke free from that. It was a combination of getting my heart torn appart by a girl, finding this website and vissiting my hostfamily in the US which remined me of my childhood because I am the youngest person in my family but my hostfamily has little kids. This combination was everything I needed to end this inner battle. You have to break free from those morals. You have to realize that what you want is natural and alright. And if you can't enjoy yourself with a woman you move on and look for someone else. Your problem results out of having expected more and now finding yourself with less.

 

[demonic]

Alright, first of all, let's make a difference here between a DJ and a PUA

A PUA is doing what you are doing. He learns to pick up women and then looks for quantity. And I know that a lot of PUAs fall into this trap of not finding their fulfillment in it. But they shouldn't.

A DJ however, learns that women are just a sideline. You were expecting happiness from being able to pick up women. The DJ however uses the path of selfimprovement. The women aren't the goal. A man is defined not thorugh his success but through the battle. Do you know why I am doing to BC? Not because I want to get into some pants. It would be alright if that happens. But I finally realized that I don't have to do that. I just want to experience new things, push my borders, get mroe comfortable with people and women in general. I am not expecting to find happiness because of that.


I remember this battle inside myself that raged a year ago. It was a battle between my mind and my heart so to speak or rather between what I wanted and my morals. It was similar to what you described. I denied myself the right to have fun with women because somehow education has told me that it's wrong. I don't know exactly how I broke free from that. It was a combination of getting my heart torn appart by a girl, finding this website and vissiting my hostfamily in the US which remined me of my childhood because I am the youngest person in my family but my hostfamily has little kids. This combination was everything I needed to end this inner battle. You have to break free from those morals. You have to realize that what you want is natural and alright. And if you can't enjoy yourself with a woman you move on and look for someone else. Your problem results out of having expected more and now finding yourself with less.

Thanks, that makes alot of sense!...

Maybe i'm starting to get it as i'm throwing away numbers and i had the chance to get back with my ex and told her i wanna be friends.

I'd NEVER have done that 6 months ago, it's like i've reached the point where i'm able to decide who i wanna be with...but at the same time i'm still distant.

Ok so if i make women less of a priority in my life will i see diffrent results?...as in the ability to connect again?...i dunno maybe i'm going on about nothing.

just get's me down even though i should be happy with what i've done.

Demonic

 

[JDA70]

- After thinking about it i think alot of it has to do with the fact i feel INCREDIBLE guilt after having sex with girls because they always want more and i can't tell em straight it was a one off or i used them as i know i'll bump into them again.

Interesting.

You'll go have sex but then feel guilty afterwards.

This is where you need self control.

Self control dude.

Find a girl you like and build a relationship.
Don't just go around and randomly **** chicks.
Sure you'll get props from alot of guys here or out there
but you'll still feeling like **** in the end. Why? because as you
found out your just using people.


Anyways, you get the point I hope.

 

[DonGorgon]

increase The Quantity And Quality Of Women You Get And The Speed At Which You Get Them And Command More Respect From Them..

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Ok so i've finally got what i wanted, the ability to pull girls and have loads of numbers on my phone...am i happy?...no i'm fking not...if anything i'm even more unhappy than when i was when i could'nt get women.

You ask why?, the constant disconnection and the feeling of being cold inside is not what lie should be.
I can't even feel anything for these girls and it makes me feel that i'm never going to feel anything for any girl.

At the moment i'm just a male ***** who can't make any real connection with any women.

So before you think being a "Don Jaun" is brilliant...stop and think about how it would effect you in the end.

Demonic - a broken DJ

I have felt the way you have once.

Your not doing something right.

So find the problem and fix it, challenge yourself..

If you're ****ing, trust me...

you'll feel the connection... and THE connection and thats never bad.

I know you're not ****ing or you wouldn't post this.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Success isn't based on money

Are you being serious right now? what world do you live in? everyone I know seems to know that it is.

myabe I miscontrued though? what the hell do you mean seriously? lol

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Being a Don Juan is about being a man. Having goals, hobbys, dreams, friends, figuring out who you are, what you want to be, having a life and so on.

Then, after you become a man and have a life the women will come. You is your first priorty and women are second.

 

[leftForDeadPhoenix]

A woman alone will not make you happy. You need to find your passion(s) in life and be filled with them.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

I had the exact same thing at the start of this year. Unfortunately I didn't have the good advice above to help me realise where I was going wrong.

All I did was completely forget about pickup, women or anything remotely related. I hit the gym hard, focussed on my martial arts training and golf, saw some mates and basically rejoined the human race.

Neil Strauss talks about this state of mind in The Game. He calls it being a social robot. Its a very apt description. Remember that whatever we do, however much we enjoy it, we need downtime now and again to connect with ourselves. Take some and use it wisely

 

[James45]

Geeez.


Becoming a DJ and entering the seduction community - there should be a list of mandatory pre-reading material.


Check out Anthony Robbins Personal Power II. And read any one of his books.

You are not a DJ. The only person I believe has hit the spot in regards to your case is DannykDJ:

You're doing it wrong.

You missed the point completely. It's not about pulling lost of numbers or sleeping with as many women as you can. Thats just an added side effect

The goal of is to emotionally mature to the point that you are truly happy with yourself. You have to step out of your comfort zone so you can be happy and aware of who you are.

The reason you are still as unhappy with women as you were without them is because you didn't fix the problems you started with. you are relying on external validation to be happy with yourself, and you will never get enough of it to make you happy.

It seems like you fell into the trap others do of just memorizing techniques without understanding how and why they work and then you call yourself a dj

You just threw a fresh coat of paint on a house thats falling apart on the inside.

Work on inner game. Women are not the end goal, but a means to an end - which I believe, in your case, is emotional fulfillment. Everything starts from within.

If you were standing on top of mount everest, the pinnacle of the world overlooking such beauty and wonder - but your vision was blurred and your eyes were clogged with dust and dirt, would you be able to appreciate it?