Whats the play here?

DamnSon

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Ok, lately, I've been on a tear, getting laid a lot, easily, lots of options etc.

However, this becomes quite hollow as i'm sure you might know.

I meet this girl, intuition says before going in, looking at her social media etc, she's probably out there, gonna be just another hook up/cool experience for a night.

Prior to the date- conversation is amazing, so much chemistry and tension- instant replies, etc. We talked sexually, and she mentioned "im not gonna **** you right away, maybe like the third date" (yea right) I asked her why the third and she says she usually gets bored and its a good indicator.

Fast forward to first date- Chemistry is amazing, I mean in years of one nighters, randoms/dates I like this girl, you know that moment when you know you're ****ed a bit? anyway, she starts opening up to me about her past, I take that as a good sign, as I could easily judge her, she's got a sort of shady-past, best friend is a stripper... red flags I know, but I have a very ****ty, shady past too, and I know who I am.

-Saying things like I didn't think you would have this much substance, or we'd feel this way, you make me want to not even move now (moving closer to the city)

We start hooking up, that highschool type of hook up, can't keep eachothers hands off one another, it stops. because she has somewhere to be, I probably could have hit, not sure though.. she seemed kinda firm in not.

couple days go by, she's a bartender and got some mansion pool party gig (lol yeaaaa right?) communication is still pretty decent and i'm trying to play cool- she sorta flakes on non solid plans and I start getting cold on her- maybe it was obvious she even says **** like "you should trust me, I feel like you don't want to trust me" I had mentioned to her, I don't really wanna be involved with a girl who's a bartender, out in the nightlife scene etc, I'm too old for it, I'm 30 shes 25, but I'd probably be willing to give it a shot for a little, see what happens.

Ok date 2, she tells me to come over, tells me I can spend the night, "im not ****ing you though" I get there, it's a little awkward at first, then we start hooking up again like crazy, we do everything but ****. Every time I try to slide it in she stops me, she's really unsure. says things like she works in medicine and she deals with nasty STD's everyday, she wants me to get tested, but then eventually goes to ok, if you have a condom (which I didn't loll)

Says things like "You're older, I don't usually talk to guys that like look like you, I don't know where you've been) I know her ex cheated on her, but this girls a knockout and gets plenty of male attention soo..

She goes "next date"

We end up not ****ing, we cuddle for a little, and I end up leaving, I think that bothered her. Communication goes down, I ask her if im seeing her Weds, she says I don't know I have to work now. I respond "lol" And now we haven't spoken in 2 days. She views all my social media stuff though, and last night posted some stuff then deleted it, then posted some other stuff about starting a new life in the city.

I haven't reached out, I offered a date, she didn't counter offer, she use to hit me constantly now doesn't. I'm thinking 2 things, she lost interest, liked me, knowing it's a bad idea because shes moving. or She knows next time we hang out theres gonna be the expectation of sex and that's a pressure she doesn't like... but like, why wouldn't you **** me if you like me that much? Lol


I definitely don't think im reaching out again, I made it clear I like her. I offered a date, but maybe she got turned off by me acting like I don't really believe her. If the chick liked me that much she'd be hitting me up. BUTTTT you can both play it too cool and just never end up talking again.

Idk boys. /end rant
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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female here so i’ll let the men dole out advice but “i am not f’ing you” is so obnoxious to me. it’s a show of “power” from a female and to me it’s weak and just plain dumb. how about not making these immature, arbitrary rules, she just meet you and see where it goes. personally i would have said no thanks after she made her demands. just seems controlling and immature. we all know (females) that if we meet the dude and don’t want sex, sex will not happen. there’s no need to lay down a law before then. women are so annoying sometimes.

PS i have said this line before and what i ALWAYS meant is “i will meet with you but i am not interested in you sexually and NEVER will be”
 

stringpuller

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We end up not ****ing, we cuddle for a little, and I end up leaving, I think that bothered her. Communication goes down, I ask her if im seeing her Weds, she says I don't know I have to work now. I respond "lol" And now we haven't spoken in 2 days. She views all my social media stuff though, and last night posted some stuff then deleted it, then posted some other stuff about starting a new life in the city.
Total loss of frame right here. Never ask a girl "am i seeing you wed" Etc etc. AFC af you got **** teased to hell. Why bother with her? Try to figure out why you talk to girls this way.
By this stage she should almost entirely bedoing all the chasing.
 
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DamnSon

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female here so i’ll let the men dole out advice but “i am not f’ing you” is so obnoxious to me. it’s a show of “power” from a female and to me it’s weak and just plain dumb. how about not making these immature, arbitrary rules, she just meet you and see where it goes. personally i would have said no thanks after she made her demands. just seems controlling and immature. we all know (females) that if we meet the dude and don’t want sex, sex will not happen. there’s no need to lay down a law before then. women are so annoying sometimes.

PS i have said this line before and what i ALWAYS meant is “i will meet with you but i am not interested in you sexually and NEVER will be”
Well, she said that and then we still hooked up, so I’m not sure it’s that- I figured I’d let her try and play her little game but I’d get what I was after anyway. I even brought that up, like you live your life by this black and white rules when life is anything but?
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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Well, she said that and then we still hooked up, so I’m not sure it’s that- I figured I’d let her try and play her little game but I’d get what I was after anyway. I even brought that up, like you live your life by this black and white rules when life is anything but?
Then she’s also not a person who does what she says she is going to do (or not do in her case). I get it could be a little playful game of hers but personally i dislike when women pull this card. like our sex should be a reward for the guy. meh.
 

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DamnSon

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Total loss of frame right here. Never ask a girl "am i seeing you wed" Etc etc. AFC af you got **** teased to hell. Why bother with her? Try to figure out why you talk to girls this way.
By this stage she should almost entirely bedoing all the chasing.
Well, I actually found it refreshing to be denied, made it seem like she was quality, with general concern for her well being, someone she doesn’t know quite that well yet sticking his **** in her.

I am also not sure if there was some other power play/she hoed it up in the past and now wants to correct it with me
 

DamnSon

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There is the urgency of time too- weekend coming up, if I don’t hear from her I’m going to be totally turned off- which I don’t want to be because I actually liked the girl
 

mrgoodstuff

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Well, I actually found it refreshing to be denied, made it seem like she was quality, with general concern for her well being, someone she doesn’t know quite that well yet sticking his **** in her.

I am also not sure if there was some other power play/she hoed it up in the past and now wants to correct it with me
She likes you so youll wait 90 days...
 

Frozen799

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You lost your value after the night spending with her without ****ing her... cmon it's common sense she invites you and you didn't even bring a condom? You are the guy, you are expected to push her for sex, not the other way around, she is not going to just undress for you and wait you in the bed.

Even if she reaches out she will try to keep you as orbiter for attention and MAYBE **** whenever she doesn't have better options.
Most probably another dude is also involved, I would not trust any of her words - actions only.

Don't fall for the "weekend is coming timeline" it will make you rush things, just go cold and move on, if she reaches out be careful, don't jump in like an afc, (most probably she will just dip her finger to check if you are still on the hook) she should be making up for the last rejections.
 

DamnSon

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You lost your value after the night spending with her without ****ing her... cmon it's common sense she invites you and you didn't even bring a condom? You are the guy, you are expected to push her for sex, not the other way around, she is not going to just undress for you and wait you in the bed.

Even if she reaches out she will try to keep you as orbiter for attention and MAYBE **** whenever she doesn't have better options.
Most probably another dude is also involved, I would not trust any of her words - actions only.

Don't fall for the "weekend is coming timeline" it will make you rush things, just go cold and move on, if she reaches out be careful, don't jump in like an afc, (most probably she will just dip her finger to check if you are still on the hook) she should be making up for the last rejections.


It’s funny too because when I was like, after awhile remembered I had some old ass condom in my glove box, she got upset. Like oh you just remembered- I was like I’ll go grab it but she kinda wasn’t feeling it then.

And yeah, she’s real hot so she’s definitely got options. Maybe I’m overthinking.

It’s just peak ass fire communication to know playing the cold game.

I honestly almost feel like deleting her off everything and saying I had fun but I don’t think this is gonna work and keeping it moving. But feel like a sucker because I didn’t at least **** her lol

Initially I saw her at LTR potential, but this is also still a very new relationship
 

Frozen799

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It’s funny too because when I was like, after awhile remembered I had some old ass condom in my glove box, she got upset. Like oh you just remembered- I was like I’ll go grab it but she kinda wasn’t feeling it then.

And yeah, she’s real hot so she’s definitely got options. Maybe I’m overthinking.

It’s just peak ass fire communication to know playing the cold game.

I honestly almost feel like deleting her off everything and saying I had fun but I don’t think this is gonna work and keeping it moving. But feel like a sucker because I didn’t at least **** her lol

Initially I saw her at LTR potential, but this is also still a very new relationship
Dont say anything when you remove her contacts lol, why you need to say anything? (You are still hoping that my saying something she will cling, no she wont)

You are much more invested than her.

Even if you don't delete her from anywhere, ghost her.
 

Trump

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If you have been on a tear, getting laid a lot, easily, lots of options etc.

Why is this one girl spinning your head? Why don’t you just move on to the girl where you can eat laid easily?
 

DamnSon

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Dont say anything when you remove her contacts lol, why you need to say anything? (You are still hoping that my saying something she will cling, no she wont)

You are much more invested than her.

Even if you don't delete her from anywhere, ghost her.
I mean should I even? We’ve really only been talking two weeks, maybe I’m just blowing **** out of proportion, being a ***** because I like her.

I’m wondering if she’s too far gone to entertain ltr thoughts
 

DamnSon

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If you have been on a tear, getting laid a lot, easily, lots of options etc.

Why is this one girl spinning your head? Why don’t you just move on to the girl where you can eat laid easily?
Well she’s pretty damn attractive and has lots of ltr qualities, plus made me feel like I wasn’t quite dead inside. .
 
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Atom Smasher

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If you have been on a tear, getting laid a lot, easily, lots of options etc.

Why is this one girl spinning your head? Why don’t you just move on to the girl where you can eat laid easily?
He said in his OP that this scene was getting hollow. I take it that he's becoming more relationship-minded.
 

stringpuller

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Well, she said that and then we still hooked up, so I’m not sure it’s that- I figured I’d let her try and play her little game but I’d get what I was after anyway. I even brought that up, like you live your life by this black and white rules when life is anything but?
I missed the part were you clearly said you fcked her. I took at she was saying no just make out.
 

stringpuller

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I mean should I even? We’ve really only been talking two weeks, maybe I’m just blowing **** out of proportion, being a ***** because I like her.

I’m wondering if she’s too far gone to entertain ltr thoughts
You gave a lot of leverage away. See my post above.
Ive learned this through trials. Never ever ask these types of weak types of statements.
What you she hears is not what you think she hears.
Covert communication.

Probably mostly what Frozen said. By the time the wed question came up she was probably 100% turned off.
 

DamnSon

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You gave a lot of leverage away. See my post above.
Ive learned this through trials. Never ever ask these types of weak types of statements.
What you she hears is not what you think she hears.
Covert communication.

Probably mostly what Frozen said. By the time the wed question came up she was probably 100% turned off.

I guess we'll see how it plays boys, I didn't **** her, but I grabbed her and took her into the woods and finger banged her, ate her out a little, it was a public park, so really couldn't go all the way, she was really flustered/turned on by it... and then on the ride home made her give me road head, lol. (first date)

I'm setting up other dates, but it just feels like going to work, the same process, **** em then cya later.

Also- She made it pretty clear prior to it all we weren't having sex- So i'm not sure wtff that was about, I was aggressive enough to get her to the point if i had a condom, breaking her "rule" So I dont think I beta simped it.

I also let her know I enjoyed spending time with her though- that was the mistake, told her whatever this **** goes down in flames or turns out something good, i'm with it.

But I also let her know when we didn't **** that I got needs and probably made it seem like if she ain't gonna ill **** someone else.

Maybe she's ****-testing me, "I didnt give him sex so if he doesn't hit me up thats all he wanted" but a high interest chick would be on my D I C K like she was in the beginning.

Oh wellllllllll I guess. I"ll stay NC and we'll see whats up
 
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