"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What's the most shocking thing you've said to a girl?

bigneil

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Sometimes during the seduction process things can stagnate, and you realize you have nothing to lose but to say something crazy.

For example "We had a future together. You were going to braid your hair. I was going to bathe you. Where did it all go wrong?"

Or "Are the rumors true that you've been hiding out because you put a few pounds on?"

It backfires sometimes, but if they have issues they are probably too high maintenance.

Have you tried any shock-value quotes with success?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Who Dares Win

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"Listen lets not make things more complicate than what they really are, I like your body and I just fvck you, you're insignificant to me for anything else, so are we on or not?"

It turned a bored condescending girl into an angry b1tch who insulted me in any possible way and then left...only to come back few weeks later and helping me to add a notch to my count.
 

Leporello

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'Stop talking. You're prettier with your mouth closed."
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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cablecow15

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I don't currently have any stories like this , but ill be sure to make some tonight
 

powpow

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In response to breaking up after about a three year relationship:

You give horrible bloowjobs. And I can't say that that fact didn't play a heavy role in my decision.
 
P

perseverance

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"Come near me again and I'll cut your arms and legs off".
 

jax871

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A chick tried to push in front of me in a line to a club because she 'really needed to pee'.. so i told her to piss in my mouth... she wasn't in to it.
 

bigneil

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"You just don't turn me on anymore. There's more to it than being hot and bending over."
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Chamber36

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bigneil said:
"Are the rumors true that you've been hiding out because you put a few pounds on?"
That's a good one. I'm going to use that.

All I got now is: "Why don't you put some curry on your toes and then come back."(we were talking about how her toes looked like little sausages)

And of course, my personal favorite: "You look like a taxi driver".

Neither of the lines led anywhere but they were funny.
 

Love's Orphan

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"You better start fvcking now that you are 19, because no one is gonna pound you when you get fatter, uglier and older." You can imagine her face.

"Did you know that your butt is the main source of your strenght? Come on, squeeze, your butt and open that bottle. Dont give me that look, you know you are strong."
 

bigneil

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"That's fine, but do note that you make a 20 year old stripper seem low maintenance."
 
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Young Stallion

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"No sh*t, thats your sister. Yeah I nailed her about 10 years ago, but you know babe she wasnt as good as you"

True story.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Mike32ct

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A few years ago I was on a first date with this lawyer chick.

HBLaw: Have you seen any good movies lately?

Mike: Grann Torinno

HBLaw: <Gives me eyeroll and responds with this condescending tone>

HBLaw: I saw it too, but it was ANTI-CLIMACTIC.

Mike: I hope you're not anti-cliMAXIC

HBLaw: <Jaw drop and priceless look>

I didn't get a second date, but didn't care :).



Another time I was in the club and got the b@tch shield hard. I looked her in the eyes and said with a smirk....

"That's ok hon. In ten years, you'll be really nice to me."

I got another priceless look lol.
 

roman81

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If you shave you mustache we might just have a chance hehehe
 
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