What's the best way to set up the date?

[speakeasy]

"I'm going to check out a friend's band perform at this venue on Friday, come with me."

"I'd like to get together sometime for a drink, what night are you free?"

Which method is better? To pose it in the form of a statement like the first, where you're not asking her, but telling her to come with you? Or asking her to tell YOU when she is free to go out. The first may come off as more confident, but if she's not free that night which is probably about a 50/50 chance, you'll have to resort to fishing out a date in her schedule which might make you come off as too eager.

How do you guys prefer to set up the date when it comes time to ask?

 

[WesCottII]

Whats wrong with both?

I'd go with

"Hey, I'm going to check out a friends band on Friday, you should come along, it'll be a good night", and if she's busy, I'd say "Not into gangster rap/death metal/insert joke here eh? *grin*, well, we should definitly go for a drink, so I can learn about what you DO like, when ya free?"

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It depends on what you want to convey to her (which should be dependent on stage of your interactions with her). The first one is good in the early stages when you are interested in her but it's still as just acquaintances or friends (i.e. hey, let's hang out). No skin off your nose if she doesn't, you have other friends you could hang out with; it's more about the particular event than who you are with.

The second one is better for subsequent stages where it's been established that there is a mutual interest beyond just friends hanging out; that you specifically want her company. It's more focused on her company rather than the event.

 

[speakeasy]

The second one is better for subsequent stages where it's been established that there is a mutual interest beyond just friends hanging out; that you specifically want her company. It's more focused on her company rather than the event.

Very good distinction.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Very good distinction.

That's why I'm not a proponent of believing that you can say anything and just focus on just how you say it. Words have meaning for a reason, use it to your advantage.