What's the #1 Mistake You've Found Yourself Making When You First Start Dating a Girl

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey all:

So, my dating life today is much drastically improved from when I first started dating in high school. These days I'm confident, I know what moves to make, and I've gotten to a place where women just don't phase me, which has definitely helped them to find me more attractive.

However, back in the day I made many mistakes - a LOT, actually - that prevented me from being able to increase a woman's interest. As I was learning and getting better at dating, I realized that the hardest part of getting into a relationship was due, in part, to making certain mistakes during the first 3 months of the dating phase (i.e. the "courtship" phase), where the dates and experiences she has with you set the foundation for her feelings towards you, and ultimately help her determine if she could see herself with you in a relationship scenario.

My question to all of you: what is the ONE mistake you find (or used to find) yourself making when you first meet a girl that's been shown to cause her to lose interest? For example: back in the day, I was always trying to figure out what topics of conversation to bring up during a date just so I could keep noise happening at all times... not realizing it was okay to have moments of silence here and there, or to give her time to think up stuff to talk about.

 

[bigneil]

Besides perhaps choosing girls who are 20+ years younger, I no longer find myself making mistakes per se. If and when I do, it's not until a few months into the relationship when (in hindsight) I realize I should have walked away sooner. As long as you learn how to relax, read body language, read interest level, avoid double-texting (except maybe very early in the process), and walk away at the first sign of her not reciprocating, you will eventually be able to look back at relationships (even ones that failed miserably) and know you basically did the best you could. Then it's simply the case that the girl was wrong for you (and in most cases wrong for everyone).

 

[Konada]

Scheduling dates before highly stressful situations. I blew a 1st date with a girl simply because I wasn't in the right frame of mind. Had to meet a friend of mine after the date concerning some investment matters (which had run into alot of problems and pissing me off to no end.) As a result I went into the date in a bad mood and resulted in alot of awkward silences. In hindsight I could've been in more control of my emotions but nonetheless learn to keep plans apart, especially those dealing with potential conflict.

 

[Casillas]

I overthink too soon , I barely know her and I am thinking about of a formal relationship. Luckily it only lasts like one week.

 

[SamTheHobit]

...so its less what you do and more who you pick.

Quoted for the truth!

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Treating her like she's my girlfriend before she actually is. It's such a mistake to treat a girl you're just dating like she's your significant other, especially because she doesn't deserve it yet.

 

[Trump]

My question to all of you: what is the ONE mistake you find (or used to find) yourself making when you first meet a girl that's been shown to cause her to lose interest? For example: back in the day, I was always trying to figure out what topics of conversation to bring up during a date just so I could keep noise happening at all times... not realizing it was okay to have moments of silence here and there, or to give her time to think up stuff to talk about.

As soon as you start talking about "mistakes", you've given her the power and have already lost. Girls shouldn't be thought of in terms of school tests and essays, they are emotional creatures who make decisions on whats best for them at the time.

If there is any mistake a guy makes, it's not sleeping with her fast enough. Your only goal should be to sleep with her. Texting too much, talking too much, not calling enough, saying the wrong thing, ALL GARBAGE.

Take her out, sleep with her, move on. :cheer:

 

[Who Dares Win]

Listen to her words instead of watching her actions.

Made this mistake plenty of times in my 20s, I was gonna call the girls and ask her to meet, she would say not tonight but next week I wont work, then the following week some other bullshi1t was coming.

Or being on a date with a girl which was saying how she liked to go out with me but avoid physical contact.

Needless to say the amount of girls saying how good they were and how they were not slvts only to become slvts when meeting a guy which they found attractive.

So yeah the most time consuming ball busting mistake has been listen to their words instead of focus on their behaviour.

 

[icantgetlaid]

Listen to her words instead of watching her actions.

Made this mistake plenty of times in my 20s, I was gonna call the girls and ask her to meet, she would say not tonight but next week I wont work, then the following week some other bullshi1t was coming.

Or being on a date with a girl which was saying how she liked to go out with me but avoid physical contact.

Needless to say the amount of girls saying how good they were and how they were not slvts only to become slvts when meeting a guy which they found attractive.

So yeah the most time consuming ball busting mistake has been listen to their words instead of focus on their behaviour.

tha fvck? do you mean pay attention to their actions? girls say all kinds of sh1t they don't mean.

Anyway, my biggest mistake is 'bragging' out of insecurity.

e.g. talking about how nice my place is, how good my job is, etc.

 

[Suspens]

looking at them as future Mrs. suspens, the mother of my children

 

[bigneil]

Maybe talking about other women too much was a mistake, but given that my current gf has been complaining about my having done that on our first date - for 13 months - it might be a good thing.

 

[nismo-4]

Enter the judge.

As soon as you start talking about "mistakes", you've given her the power and have already lost. Girls shouldn't be thought of in terms of school tests and essays, they are emotional creatures who make decisions on whats best for them at the time.

With women, if they don't see you again, you either f**ked up along the way or a better man came along. How far you get with a woman is always dictated by her interest in you.

If there is any mistake a guy makes, it's not sleeping with her fast enough. Your only goal should be to sleep with her. Texting too much, talking too much, not calling enough, saying the wrong thing, ALL GARBAGE.

That's if she's gonna allow you to sleep with her in the first place. Some women go out with guys for attention.

Take her out, sleep with her, move on. :cheer:

Easy in theory, difficult in execution. You want sex, she doesn't= sex don't happen. Now what?

Read between the lines.

 

[Peña]

If there is any mistake a guy makes, it's not sleeping with her fast enough. Your only goal should be to sleep with her. Texting too much, talking too much, not calling enough, saying the wrong thing, ALL GARBAGE.

It is not garbage. A lot of men want to date and have relationships with women moving on to marriage. Learning from their mistakes is what makes their relationships successful.

 

[Trump]

Originally Posted by Trump
As soon as you start talking about "mistakes", you've given her the power and have already lost. Girls shouldn't be thought of in terms of school tests and essays, they are emotional creatures who make decisions on whats best for them at the time.

With women, if they don't see you again, you either f**ked up along the way or a better man came along. How far you get with a woman is always dictated by her interest in you.

If there is any mistake a guy makes, it's not sleeping with her fast enough. Your only goal should be to sleep with her. Texting too much, talking too much, not calling enough, saying the wrong thing, ALL GARBAGE.

That's if she's gonna allow you to sleep with her in the first place. Some women go out with guys for attention.

Take her out, sleep with her, move on.

Easy in theory, difficult in execution. You want sex, she doesn't= sex don't happen. Now what?

I think your mindset is wrong. If you are worried about "messing up" along the way, you are already playing into her game, you are sidetracked and not focused. If a better comes man along and she wants to leave, let her go and be with him.

She should be so lucky that you are sleeping with her. Are we all uneducated, sloppy, unfit guys with no money? You dress decent and can string 2 sentences together and have a stable job, you are the one doing her the favor.

If she doesn't want sex, you withdraw attention and move on. If you don't she is making fun if you.

 

[Peña]

I think your mindset is wrong. If you are worried about "messing up" along the way, you are already playing into her game, you are sidetracked and not focused. If a better comes man along and she wants to leave, let her go and be with him.

She should be so lucky that you are sleeping with her. Are we all uneducated, sloppy, unfit guys with no money? You dress decent and can string 2 sentences together and have a stable job, you are the one doing her the favor.

If she doesn't want sex, you withdraw attention and move on. If you don't she is making fun if you.

Your mindset is wrong because if you do not fix your mistakes the same mistakes will keep happening. Mistakes need to be addressed when they happen so they can be fixed not to be repeated. This is a great thread for men to realize what mistakes they made that prevented them from being successful. It seems that you do not want to work on yourself glossing over your failures. You will never reach your full potential with the kind of attitude you have.

 

[ubercat]

Pena agreed but u have to analyze yr mistakes over weeks and months. Don't want the young DJs seeing every date they don't get laid as a mistake to b fixed. Women r variable.

 

[Who Dares Win]

tha fvck? do you mean pay attention to their actions? girls say all kinds of sh1t they don't mean.

Anyway, my biggest mistake is 'bragging' out of insecurity.

e.g. talking about how nice my place is, how good my job is, etc.

That was the message, wise to ignore their words and pay attention to their actions, which awfully I didnt do in my early 20s.

 

[UnsworthK]

Can think of many, which I still need to work on, however number one has to be the following:

1: Falling victim to oneitis after >5 dates (after having sex with the girl multiple times)

Struggle to get more than one girl on the go in a sexual way at any one time, mainly because I work away a lot and can't find time to meet girls in my area. I occasionally meet up with girls when I am away but its for short periods so a repeat prescription is normally out of the question.

This is starting to really annoy me and I don't know how else I can fix it apart from just not giving a **** (which I find quite hard to do) or keeping many plates on the go at once.

 

[archon8692]

Texting too much is the biggest one. Then in these texts complimenting them. Also listening to their words instead of actions. Most girls text me the same things.

 

[Mr Wright]

A mistake I used to make was thinking that I had to impress her in any way. Now I just think that if she's out on a date with me, that she's into me so all I have to do is not act like an idiot and it's all good. If at any point a guy feels like he needs to make a point to a woman, he's lost the plot. Compared to how I used to be, I sit there and say very little, ask a few questions but in general I just keep a neutral face and escalate things at the right time. The old me would have said that was boring and thought that she had to be laughing or something had to be happening for her to be attracted. But time after time, I get that text the next day saying what a great time they had. With 2 new lays in the last week and another 2 dates set up over the next week, I can't tell you how easy and liberating it feels to go on a date and not give a crap whether she likes me or not. I put in less effort and get more results. For example I was out with a girl the other day, she wasn't acting as I expected her to or how I wanted her to, which was annoying because I'm awesome. The old me would have just tried to impress her more. Now I have self respect and if realise that you don't have to sit through crap if you don't like it. So half an hour in, I walked the two of us to a tube station and told her I was going home(this wasn't a move, I was ready to go home at that point). The look on her face was priceless. She reached out and grabbed my hand to stop me. An hour later I was back at hers banging her.