"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What's something mean to say to a girl who keeps on hitting on me so she'll stop?
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
chinwaggler
Senior Don Juan
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honestly you're asking how to be mean?
Igetit!
Moderator
You do this long enough,and I guarantee you she'll be running for the hills to get away from you.
More Cowbell Please
Don Juan
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- Oct 18, 2008
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Asteconn
Don Juan
Igetit!
Moderator
Well what does this girl look like? You say she's gross,but is she really? Or do you just not like her? Because if she's a 6 or a 5 at a minimum,then you know she probably has some afcs after her,but she turns them all down. Therefore,if you pretend to be an afc like all the other guys,then she'll want to distance herself from you too. Is she really gross? Like is she obese,with a face full of acne,bad breath,with teeth missing or something? She can't be that bad.Demystify said:
The suggestion from Asteconn seems pretty good,unless she thinks something is up when you say it.
theunflushables
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 28, 2007
- Messages
- 1,104
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
Seriously though, don't be mean about it because it could come back to bite you later on.
Like Asteconn said, tell her you see her as a sister and then tell her you aren't ready for anything serious.
Demystify said:
Why are you putting yourself in the position to be hugged or patted every once in a while by her? Why don't you keep yourself busy? Why don't you go where she is not? Why don't you keep busy with sports / reading / school / college? Why don't you volunteer?
You seem to enjoy the attention she is giving you. It's nice to feel wanted, even by a girl who is not good looking, its good for the male ego.
Furyguy
Senior Don Juan
AmpleReason
Don Juan
War Against Betaism
Master Don Juan
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.