What's so great about your 30s if you don't get married anyways?

[Weaver]

I guess I loved the validation that came from the guy more than I loved the actual sex itself [...].

Sounds like a woman talking about her beta provider ex-husband.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

1 - You can somehow travel to different places or do stuff you always wanted to do, but what's the point if you're going to be lonely as hell doing it?

This is the crux of your issue. You are still assuming the fairytale romance and happily ever after marriage is the 'cure' for your loneliness. This feeling of loneliness, therefore, believe it or not, is not self-imposed; it is in fact your subconscious reaction to the socially-imposed ideology that romantic attachment is the ultimate fulfillment.

Romantic attachment has it's place, don't have me wrong, but it's certainly not the priority that blue-pill folk will have you believe.

Let's say your personal life encompasses the five main facets listed below (some will have more, some fewer. whatever). A balanced mind, an emotional stable individual places roughly equal levels of subconscious (and conscious) importance (%)....

Self Esteem/Respect -20%
Family - 20%
Friends - 20%
Goal attainment - 20%
Romantic / sexual relations - 20%

The genuine cure for your 'loneliness' is simply to learn to enjoy being (romantically) alone. You are currently placing far too much emphasis on having a GF or wife (romantic relations). Listen to you own internal monologue, you're saying you need to be romantically involved with someone in order to gain pleasure from the rest of your life. That, my friend, is genuinely quite sad to hear.

As a rough estimate, I'd say the below rough represents your current motivational psychology....

Self Esteem/Respect -10%
Family - 10%
Friends - 10%
Goal attainment - 10%
Romantic / sexual relations - 60%

Your life will ideally become more balanced in your conscious and subconscious mind. Just because you aren't romantically attached, doesn't (shouldn't) make you lonely. You have friends, hopefully family, colleagues, and absolute strangers when you go out, all to keep you company. You're not 'lonely'. You're emotionally in need, because you pay more value romance (therefore other people) than you do your own self-esteem.

If you want advice, I'd say start by overhauling your personal priorities, especially from an emotional standpoint.

Important to point out too that people that rely on relationships to "cure" this loneliness will simply be frustrated that the relationship can't solve this problem. They will then undermine the relationship due to discontent.

True thing. I was going to say that as well.

 

[logicallefty]

A man in his 30s matures a lot and learns a lot of knowledge and wisdom; about women + many other areas of life. But yet he is still young enough to be around for a long time thereafter to apply and use said knowledge.

 

[marmel75]

What's awesome?

You are mature, or should be...

have your priorities straight...

are starting to become in a much better financial position, or should be...

you have a great mix of experience and are still young enough to fvck the life out of a chick if you keep yourself in shape at the gym...should be easily better in bed than most young guys if you've spent time and energy invested in doing so...

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'd say that if you meet a real winner to go with it. Otherwise forget it

 

[Desdinova]

1 - You can somehow travel to different places or do stuff you always wanted to do, but what's the point if you're going to be lonely as hell doing it?

Any man who has multiple hobbies to indulge in will completely understand what the point is. It's unlikely that your GF/wife will enjoy the same kinds of hobbies that you'll have, so you're going to be doing it alone regardless of whether you're with somebody or not. The biggest difference is you have absolutely nobody distracting you from the things you want to do. Your ideal mate will give you room to do the stuff you want to do. If she attempts at becoming a roadblock, put her in her place.

2 - You can date hotter younger girls. TBH, I don't see it all that often. It seems like most hot girls I know in the 18-25 age range are dating hot and popular guys in their age range, it is the misfits and uglier girls who seem to go for older guys.

You don't see it often because women in their 30s have made a social rule that men their age should stick to women their age, and that dating women who are significantly younger is creepy, gross and wrong. You'll find out it's very possible when you actually work at dating women who are younger.

When asked what's so great about your 30s if you don't get married, it's all of things about how you get to avoid getting divorce raped but that's kinda like me advertising a product and instead of telling you what's so great about it, telling you how awful the other product is so you should pick mines instead.

I'm not going to say that a man should never hook up with a woman for the long haul, but that he should be extremely selective when doing so. The woman needs to have him at the top of her high score list and have an extremely high level of respect and exclusivity for him.

As far as marriage goes, it's a very outdated tradition for today's society. It should be abolished.

I am one of the few that think that there are ways for a guy to get married, have kids, and live a great life.

With the exception of marriage, I believe it's possible as well. Marriage is nothing more than a legal document that binds people together. You don't need that in order to have a successful relationship. A marriage contract no longer helps couples succeed in their relationship. It has no meaning because of things like "no fault divorce"