"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What's she doing?

onemorerobot

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So, I finally got up the nerve to ask for this girl's number. I expected she would give it to me what with all the signs of interest she was giving me. So I wait a few days and then call her on Monday to set up a date on Friday to which she obliges. She comes to see me at work today and we chat for a few minutes before she tells me that I can give her a call if I want when I get off work. I call her and we chat for a minute or two before she asks if I want to hang out. I say "sure" and we meet at the mall. We basically just talked and I watched her eat a sandwich. When it was time to leave she said she had fun and offered her hand to shake, so I shook and then assured her that we could hug. I don't know, it just seemed like that's what she was expecting. Anyway, my question is why did she want to hang out when our date was only a day away?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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amoka

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You should have declined the offer to hangout with her. It was a test-to see how manly you are.... how desperate you're to "hang-out" with her. When you call her to confirm your meeting with her this friday, she may not pick-up. She may. When she does, tell her you're like to postpond the date to saturday. In that case, she'll realize you're afterall not that interested in meeting her.....
 

Phyzzle

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I disagree with the last guy. You aren't going to call and confirm at all. You're just going to show up. Why would you call her at all?

I mean, if you already have a date set up Friday, what are you calling her for? What would you ask? You already asked her out. She said yes. So go.
 

onemorerobot

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Well actually I do need to call her. I asked her for directions the other day and she told me to just call her before I pick her up so she can give them to me. She says she's really bad at giving directions.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Aaron B

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Everything is a test. Consciously or not, she is testing you, and you are failing.

You have allowed her to take total control and she is now calling the shots.

Don't call girls to "chat." You aren't her girlfriend. And even worse you called after she told you to. If anyone is going to be calling the shots, it has to be you.

Make her wait for your call. Like David D says "Give her the gift of missing you." You can't do that if you are always available to her.

Keep this up and you are headed straight for the friendszone.
 

onemorerobot

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Alright, that makes sense. How do I salvage this though? I obviously have to call her tomorrow at some point or I'm not going to be able to find her ****ing house.
 

Phyzzle

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Just go ahead with the plan, then. Don't sweat it. But you could in for some irritation if she doesn't answer her phone.

Sometimes, chicks will say "call me back and we'll see" as an incredably annyong way to say "no." In the future, just set something up and see her then.
 

zerocelcius

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I think that this one isn't very deep at all fellas! NOT saying it isn't important at all either. BUT what I am saying is I think you two might be young... just a guess (the mall thing) and she just likes you. WOW weird I know.

I think she might be a bit lonely and she likes you and wanted to hang out.

Obviously your old enough to drive, so how old are you and her?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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