Whats holding you back.. (must read)

[cola]

In my opinion there are certain aspects of women that many of you guys are misunderstanding or over complicating. Here are a few points that I feel can be helpful to many of you guys

Your Bitterness

Many of you are bitter. You suffered a lack of success with women and now as a result you think that they are all these evil harpies that want to manipulate all men. This is a attitude that you guys have to change. Your previous lack of success with women is partly your fault. You lacked social skills, you lacked the will to improve yourself, you lacked swagger and you lacked the pazazz it took to get a females attention. You guys need to let this bitterness go and take some responsibility for your own lack of attractiveness.

Now your motive with women is to dog them out. Because you couldn't get the girls back then now you feel the need to hurt them, mistreat them, misuse them, love them and leave them. I challenge you to question what your motive with women is. Are you trying to get vengeance from the past? Or are you just trying to meet some cool girls and see what happens? The latter should be your goal.

There are women out there who are a**holes but that isn't the bulk majority. You can't blame a woman for not being attracted to you. But you can blame a woman for how she responds to her lack there of. A real woman will let you know before things get to far and not string you along. And you should not be offended because just like you aren't attracted to every woman you can't expect every woman to be attracted to every man.

The Marriage Divorce Rate.

I just wanted to touch on this briefly because I always hear guys (especially the older ones) talking about how bad the union of marriage is.
There is nothing wrong with getting married.
I repeatThere is nothing wrong with getting married.​

Just like with anything you are taking a chance. The divorce rate is 50%. This means that 50% of people who get married later find out that they are not as compatible as they once thought they were.

Why has the divorce rate increased? Have you ever stopped and thought maybe in the 60's and 70's it wasn't as socially acceptable to be divorced? I mean think about it how many people do you think remained married because they didn't want the social stigma of being a divorcee? Maybe if it was socially acceptable then there would have been more divorces back then just as there are now when it is acceptable to be a divorcee... Think about it.

Over Complication

I see guys on this forum making these philosophical/scientific posts about attracting women and the evolutionary aspect of attraction. While this may be relevant to a science major or something, to the average joe it just isn't that serious. Its not that serious, its not that complicated and it really shouldn't be that difficult or forced. Here is the only scientific jargon you guys will ever need..​

Its a numbers game.

Yes guys, this is a numbers game. Meeting a woman, her liking you enough to want to continue talking to you later, and any other further interaction is a numbers game. Its like this..

I estimate that the most attractive, clever, financial independent guy will have a 1-7 close rate at best. You take into consideration things such as how much time she/you has to spend on the interaction, how comfortable she is talking to you in the location and other outside factors i say 1-7.

As you take away things such as:



Looks
Financial Independence
Swagger
Being "her type"

You will see a decrease in the success rate. Certainly not rocket science. The more girls you talk to the higher the success rate.​

So in closing I will say, because I don't want to make this post too tedious to read..
Guys don't over complicate this. You don't need to know evolution, you don't need to be bitter. Just be a all around stand up guys who values his self and chases what he wants out of life and the girls will come. The only thing you really need to work on is approaching women. You have to get comfortable with it to the point that it becomes second nature.

You want to be talking to a lot of women than you need to approach a lot.
If its a 1-7 rate, to get 7 plates spinning you need to talk 49 girls. That is if you are a exceptional man, for most of us i am sure its a higher rate.

Guys you don't have to be *******, and you don't have to go out there with the mindset of trying to get vengeance on these girls or break there hearts.. all your doing is turning more good girls bad, and once they go bad they never quite go back. I wont say they never go back at all but they are never quite the same.
Go get them fellows, and remember karma is a *****. So if your out here with the intent of breaking hearts or womanizing i believe you'll pay for it in the long run..
C'ya
Cola

 

[Black Dog]

Even at 18 I always bring up the divorce rate when talking to be about this stuff.

I really appreciated the first point, and needed it. Thanks.

 

[cola]

Even at 18 I always bring up the divorce rate when talking to be about this stuff.

I really appreciated the first point, and needed it. Thanks.

I really could have went on more about that subject, but didn't because I didn't want to rant but:
People on this forum act like all marriages are not functioning unions but that is just not the case. I know a lot of people who have been married for years and have been successful and happy and share everything with each other. Its just about finding 2 people with like minds who click.

It is because people, and posters on this forum are guilty of this are advising people "not to be their selves" well you can only keep up a act for so long, so you get married not being yourself trying to "keep her interest level up" ***which doesn't make sense because you can't make someone stay interested in you, at least I don't think you can, or rather, shouldn't try to.. either they are or aren't
but we have interest levels for a reason, if she is interested in a you that isn't authentic, naturally its a good chance when you get married/ move in and can't keep up the act 24/7 she may not end up liking the real you.

That is why telling someone not to be their self is terrible advice. Better to work on improving yourself and making yourself the best you that you can be.

Anyways, I have a lot of interesting thoughts on the opinions on this website I'll share them more often, didn't think they would help anyone. Glad they helped reinforce ideas you already had.

You'll probably be labelled as naive

Probably, but I don't believe half the stuff some of these guys on this forum say anyways, so I don't really care. A lot of posers in this community.
Glad you liked the post.

 

[HalfAddict]

I like your points, except the marriage thing.. There is a problem with marriage, just looking at it from a statistical view there is something within marriage that is broken as hell.

50% is a hefty failure rate.
You score 50% on a test you fail.
If parachutes had a 50% success rate, would you skydive?
If 50% of all planes crashed would you fly?

The idea of one man and one woman together forever is quite lovely, and I am sure some people find that. (my parents have been married like 35 years). But for me as a man today it would take some serious time before I considered marriage and children with anyone. As it stands now I never intend to get married.

 

[cola]

If 50% of the marriage rate ends in divorce is it safe to say 50% of all divorces are the mans fault instead of the woman? So if 50% of the fault of the 50% marriage divorce rate is the mans, now would it be safe to say the new assumed divorce rate is 25% for you? If you intend on not doing anything wrong to the woman?
i.e cheating/ not providing half of the income(at least 40% of the income).. all the weight shouldn't be on one person man or woman, being a slob?
Men are guilty of stuff too, not advocating for women, just being honest..

Make sense?