"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

What's going to happen now?

scott44

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So I met this chick a couple of months ago on a vacation to florida. She gave me her e-mail address after partying one night and asked me to get in touch with her. I came back home and e-mailed her, which she responded to right away. Well... ever since then we have been communicating almost every day.

It turned out we have quite a bit in common. She seemed to take a liking to me, sending me about five e-mails to every one of mine. So about three weeks ago she was telling me she had some time off of work and didn't have any plans for her long weekend. I asked her to come out and see me, and she said yes.

She bought a plane ticket and flew about a thousand miles last weekend to come see me. Kissing/making out began almost immediately as soon as I brought her back to my place after I picked her up from the airport. We hung out at my place and just watched movies, getting close and snuggling. Out of the blue she asks "Do you mind if we sleep in the same bed?" Stunned, with a smile on my face, my response was "Hell no!"

So we get into bed and I'm trying to heat things up. I want to touch her boobs and for the clothes to come off. But no, I'm stopped dead in my tracks, and told "You stop right there, mister!". At this point I am very shocked. I'm pissed, but not wanting to show it, for fear of making her uncomfortable... How wrong I was in assuming she was just a slut, and that she was sleeping with a different guys during the whole time I e-mailed her.

I had taken on this false assumption after seeing her kiss and hang on a few other guys in florida. She is very forward and flirtatious. After I was told to stop trying to manhandle her in bed (I could tell she was getting pyssed), she told me she doesn't have sex with anyone unless she's in a relationship.

During the three nights that we slept in the same bed, each one I was hoping to get laid, but it didn't happen. Lots and lots of kissing/making out and massages. This of course drove me right up the dam wall, but at the same time sparked some respect for this chick for not just making this a long-distance booty call.

Well... now I think I have a problem. While laying in bed with her, I'm afraid I cracked and started to say some AFC things. I was saying these things I think in an attempt for her to give up the pvssy. I said "Baby, I'd never cheat on you" after she told me how hurt she was after her last boyfriend cheated. I also told her that I was going to miss her when she's gone and that I felt like I was a little attached to her. And, I told her I liked her. I asked her if she thought we had chemistry. She said "Yes, I feel comfortable around you, and I like the way we get along". I even asked her: "You're not going to break my heart, are you?" DOH! I know (AFC)... Her response was "I hope not".

Well, the truth: I do miss her now that she's gone. My place feels empty. This is headed down a path to one-itis. I've been thinking about her every minute since I kissed her goodbye. I really enjoyed her company, and we had fun while she visited. Like I said, we have some common interests. She said "I really don't want to rush into a relationship. We need to spend more time together." She told me that she didn't want to go home on the last night that she was here. I'm not really sure if its because she doesn't like her home a thousand miles away, or if its because she was going to miss me.

I do know she had fun while being here... We laughed, and spent practically every minute together. She initiated touching, kissing/and making out as did I. This girl is very straightforward and honest it seems, and also doesn't seem like a game player. We have joked with each other about marriage due to our common interests. I hardly spent any money on this chick while she was here. She probably spent more money on me. We've yet to see each others darker side. During the whole time that she was here, she kept apologizing for being boring... I didn't really find her that boring though. I told her today: "This sucks, you need to move closer!" Her response was: "You couldn't handle me if I lived closer to you." <--- How do I interpret that?

I don't like this long distance shyt one bit. I've got other girls that I can date around here, and I will. This one's getting me though because I really do like her, and it actually makes me feel better that she didn't open her legs for me, even though I tried. But, my feelings are somewhat mixed because I feel she just may be looking for me as an escape from her present state of life in her boring little town.

Anyhow, I may have fvcked this whole thing up by now with those AFC statements. What do you guys think about that? And what other suggestions about this whole thing do you have for me? Dam, this girl's really hot.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

uniassign

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Go f&*k ten other chicks. Then ask yourself if you really think this chick is FAR superior than the ten you have been with.

I know it is hard for you to think of f&*king ten other chicks, but that's the only way to get over one-itis.

At the moment, you are coming from a scarcity frame, where you think that this chick is the best that you have been with or that you cannot find any better.

But if you go out of your comfort zone, you will find that this chick is replacable. There will be hotter, smarter, younger, sexier chick than this one.
 

scott44

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What do you guys think is going to happen now after the AFC statements? I assume her interest level would've dropped.
 

DankNuggs

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Scott, I have a story uncannily similar to yours....

I'm vacationing in florida, I'm in the club, and this hot hot hot blond chick comes up to me and grinds me, tells me that I'm "saving her" from some other guy who was trying ot get on her. So things go well, bring her home after the club, figure I'll get laid... no sex. No orgasms. Lots of nudity though. (I had no respect for the lack of poon unlike scott)

So this chick is pretty cool, I decide I'll take her out to dinner, it goes well, we walk on the beach, go out on a boardwalk, kiss under moonlight blah blah blah...I end up dropping her off at her place, and end up staying there...

Unlike Scott, I managed to get some of the darkness out of her. She had this townhouse with her BF/fiance of like 8 years, he cheated on her, she kicked him out. She had abusive parents, now her BF was screwing someone else, she had a low paying job that couldn't support all these things they had bought together. She wanted to be with me forever, after only knowing her a few days. She was very hot, very cool, and very honest about her past, however she was very clingy, and didn't give up the poon.....

I told her I'd keep in touch and try to visit her again soon, but when I got home, got my head out of my @ss, I realized this was a bad situation. I didn't call, and I'm glad i didn't....

gl
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

ManOMan

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Scott the same exact thing happened to me, Met a HB in a city 1300 miles away, we kept contact over email, then she flew over to see me!

We slept in the same bed, and she kept pushing my advances away, yet told me she "loved" me

We kept in contact, but soon the distance just fizzled the "relationship" out.

Neither of us was willing to make a SERIOUS move, and it was only a fantasy love affair, until one of us found a REAL local person around us, we dont even talk anymore

I'd say forget this dude, its never gonna materialize into something meaningful
 

scott44

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I've pretty much accepted that nothing will come of this, and I've already got another chick lined up for this weekend. But, someone please tell me if they think those comments I made were AFC or not, and how do you think she feels now after I said those things?
 

uniassign

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We cannot tell if those comments are AFC or not. It depends on HOW you say, the body language you displayed and the context of the interaction.

eg: "I like you" can be interpreted as AFC if you are leaning into the girl, whilst she has her arms crossed and looking away. This comes across as seeking approval and reeks of insecurity. Of course, if this was your scenario, you acted AFC and she will lose some interest.

However if you say "I like you" with good body language, and she was leaning into you smiling and giving you that glazed look, then it would not be an AFC thing to say. Rather it is an approving statement to her that she has passed your test.

Also it depends on how you played her before you uttered those statements. If you were all hard to get and ball bust etc, and then you said those things, it would have been ok.

However, if you were supplicating from day 0, then you are out.

Any act is AFC if you are coming from a supplicative, or seeking approval frame.

The important thing is, who cares what she thinks. This is your reality and it is you that matters. Just chalk this up as a learning experience and move on.
 
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