What's a solution in today's world for having kids?

[TheNewStyle123]

What about the other 41%? This is, of course, from the people who actually said something. Rarely to females admit to cheating. You're 31, so I understand you still believe the pie in the sky all things are okay if you give good d and a six figure dude. However, this is not the reality my friend. Believe what you like, as I am sure I am not making a dent in your thoughts, but ask a divorced or annulled dude and I think you'd hear a different tune.

My wife denied cheating the entire time even when I had concrete proof in MULTIPLE forms.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Where I live, $68k/yr would put you in the top 10% of wage earners.

 

[Serenity]

Is it possible to build the structure of a healthy family with a healthy marriage in the United States and other Western nations that can last for 2 decades? It's difficult to argue the case for it.

It's certainly possible and some people are doing that every day, I didn't say it was easy though.

I prefer to fully be done with an ex when it is over. Not having kids with a woman makes that possible.

I agree, therefore the criteria for deciding to have kids with a particular woman should be extremely high. So high that the chance of it ending despite doing your part right is extremely low. This is obviously a very high standard, as it should be. So high that you might feel you'll never meet that woman, if it happen it happens, if not then keep enjoying life to the fullest without it.

I wasn't even looking, I just stumbled across someone good. I would have been perfectly fine if that never happened, I knew I couldn't keep my happiness if I settled for less.

 

[BadBoy89]

Do men wanting kids ever genuinely consider using a surrogate and having a child/children on their own? And then when inclined looking for a partner/s as they are inclined, so they feel free of legal constraints.

I am not suggesting it as a first choice. I see plenty of pros and cons each way. I am just curious if any men have considered it or know others who have done it? Curious...

I thought you’d be more curious of how we could change the laws so men won’t be scared of marriage and children in case the women is not happy and wants a divorce to sleep with an alpha male.

 

[RickTheToad]

My wife denied cheating the entire time even when I had concrete proof in MULTIPLE forms.

Reminds me of this.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Hmm, all this effort. Might as well try to establish a harem.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Don't.

 

[SW15]

That’s not true at all. $68,000 is actually slightly above the median salary for those areas. I bought my condo in Northern New Jersey when I was making around that. No roommates.

Have you adjusted $68,000 from that time into today's dollars?

SO I have a 75 year old bachelor uncle. No kids, and until a few years ago no LTR.

When I was married with 3 young children I envied his freedom. But now looking at it, he never really did much with it. He had SUCH a non-committal attitude that it was aggravating to get him to do anything. You literally had to tell him "This is what we are doing, are you in? I need a yes or no by such and such date"

He retired a couple years ago and started dating a woman 10 years younger than him. She has consumed his life. Kinda like you see happen with the first relationship after a breakup or divorce. (I've been there) . Part of me is glad he has a support system in his old age. But part of me feels he built this free life and then handed it to this woman.

One of the problems that truly free men like your uncle faced is that it's sometimes difficult to do things with ultimate freedom. If you rarely have extended romantic relationships beyond 6-12 months, your travel is going to be limited. Most of travel is relegated to being part of a romantic relationships. There are many fewer travel options for the single and unattached person.

A support system in old age is more difficult without children. If you have enough money, the problems are mitigated in old age.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Have you adjusted $68,000 from that time into today's dollars?

Less than five years ago. Most people in those areas don’t make that, yet they find a way to live. Not that hard...

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Reminds me of this.

hahahaha yes

 

[FuzzX]

There are great women all over the world and very good cultures to raise children in. I'm a big fan of kids, they are so much fun to be around. I used to teach in children's schools and loved every minute of it. I got to 'adopt' several young lads and raise them to become successful people. I knew a kid from a poverty line single parent household in Mexico that I mentored and he eventually became a VERY successful person who picks up the hottest chicks. Its extremely satisfying to know that I had a hand in creating the success in his life. Children are a vehicle for the aspirations, hopes and dreams that we couldn't accomplish on our own.

If you want to have kids, please do so but do it in a country that is accommodating to raise the kids. The phillipines, mexico, china, japan are all fairly right wing areas that will allow you to bring up children in a good environment. You can easily find a quality wife in any of those places. A good friend of mine had 2 kids with a Thai that took off on him. He lives for his 2 boys, buys real estate for them and is very involved in their education. Having family around is a wonderful feeling when you get older. In your twenties, everyone wants to meet you and talk, in your 40's you need to pay people for the same. If I can't have my own, I'm adopting, simple as. I don't care if its my own blood... if I can help a young person to have a better life, then its one more goal to hit. If you want to see things get better in the future, raising good kids is the first step.

These are mostly orphans and poor.

 

[wifehunter]

not now

 

[MatureDJ]

Ok, been thinking about this problem.

Obviously todays world is not ideal for a man who wants to have children. The tradional route in the USA was courtship, marriage, then kids. The man provided for the family. The woman stayed home and raised the children. Worked pretty well for a while. Hell, my parents are still married.

Of course, we all know that's been pretty much ruined the last 50 years. It's a coin flip that marriage ends in divorce. Even more are miserable marriages.

So, what is the solution for you and I if we desire offspring? Not a rhetorical question. I want to see your thoughts and discussion.

Here are options I see. Not saying any or good or bad.

1. A man can still try for a happy marriage. The stats on this a pretty abismal though. I'm currently reading Aaron Clarey's Book of Numbers going over the stats. Yikes!
There is also huge risk for a man today. The family court system was designed for the old social contract. So, men are left footing a large bill for no good reason. Not to mention in my state you are automatically a babies father if you are married to the mother and cannot contest it. If you are not legally married, you can demand a paternity test.

2. Cohabitation with an LTR. A man could simply enter a commited relationship with a woman without legal marriage. Of course many jurisdictions have common marriage laws and such. There are also many of the same risks here with family court, really. You can demand a paternity test though in my state.

3. Harem. Of course ideally many men would like a harem of women like King Solomon, but that is hardly achievable for average Joe.

4. Knock a girl up and send her the check. Of course stats say your kid will turn out terrible being raised by only a single mother.


So, what are your thoughts? If some of you are fathers what has worked well and what hasn't?

LocationMax.

 

[FuzzX]

Is this not Wyldfyre with a different handle?

 

[Velasco]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1370732920021913604

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sponsor various fighting tournaments in foreign countries in the local martial arts styles, and the winners get adopted. Dana white would be all about it.