"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What's a polite way to refuse a "hang out" with a girl without makin a counter-offer?

alpha_ash

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I generally like to stay in the good with people. I don't ruin relationships regardless of what happens. However often I just don't want to see that person or people. So I am requesting a polite way to deny without making a counter-offer and still come off as a great guy. Is that even possible?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Uncharted

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Say what chicks say:

"Oh I'm busy that day but maybe some other time?"

Don't ever reschedule for a specific time.
 

alpha_ash

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Uncharted said:
Say what chicks say:

"Oh I'm busy that day but maybe some other time?"

Don't ever reschedule for a specific time.
Excellent, thank you. Should I have a question mark at the end? I feel not have a question mark will allow make for a better response.
 

Uncharted

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alpha_ash said:
Should I have a question mark at the end? I feel not have a question mark will allow make for a better response.
Actually yes you are right. Leave it out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Uncharted

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Actually if she's that into you and she's halfway good looking what's the problem with hanging out with her?
 

VladPatton

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I just did this this morning...just be vague, man. Something to the extents of "yeah, we should hang out some time".
In my case she was pushing for tonight, so I just turned it over to the weather and said "stay dry, it's crappy out there".

Just be polite, busy, out of time, and aloof.
 

alpha_ash

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Great points, thank you guys. I can always rely on you guys for some very clever advice!

The reason I don't want to see her is because she was unnecessarily disrespectful at one point and only wants to see me again to take advantage of me.
 

Uncharted

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alpha_ash said:
she was unnecessarily disrespectful
If that's the case I wouldn't even take her calls. A woman took three days to text me back when I asked her to meet up once. I have never responded to another text or call from her since then.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Who Dares Win

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Just tell her that you're dating a girl and dont want to risk to be seen with an other woman now that everything is going great among the two of you.

Especially considering your last post where you said she was disrespectful to you, man you dont own her any nice treatment except if she is some girl from work which you have at least to keep neutral.
 

VladPatton

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Wait a minute...she was disrespectful??? Pfft, then I wouldn't even bother answering back.
 

alpha_ash

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I think being vague will be more of a revenge than straight out ignoring her. Plus I don't want to come off as bitter or mean for my own self-image and for personal reasons.
 

Chamber36

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alpha ash, alpha ash, alpha ash.....

I knew something was up when a guy named Alpha Ash says "I generally like to stay in the good with people" as a first sentence.

Then I read: "The reason I don't want to see her is because she was unnecessarily disrespectful at one point and only wants to see me again to take advantage of me". Here the cat comes out of the hat. Why the hell are you even going to talk to a person that wants to take advantage of you?? Your thought process should be more like 'access to mental energy denied. NEXT'. But instead you've accepted her frame and you are trying to puzzle your way out and save face.... I don't know what's going on precisely but I bet you will save more face if you just don't talk to her at all.

So then I scroll down some more and see: "Plus I don't want to come off as bitter or mean for my own self-image and for personal reasons." I understand the self-image part, but 'personal reasons'? What might these personal reasons be?? You afraid she might attempt character assassination??

I hope you wish to ponder them and perhaps discuss them so that you may be released from the shackles of conformity(to an extent).
 

alpha_ash

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Chamber36 said:
alpha ash, alpha ash, alpha ash.....

I knew something was up when a guy named Alpha Ash says "I generally like to stay in the good with people" as a first sentence.

Then I read: "The reason I don't want to see her is because she was unnecessarily disrespectful at one point and only wants to see me again to take advantage of me". Here the cat comes out of the hat. Why the hell are you even going to talk to a person that wants to take advantage of you?? Your thought process should be more like 'access to mental energy denied. NEXT'. But instead you've accepted her frame and you are trying to puzzle your way out and save face.... I don't know what's going on precisely but I bet you will save more face if you just don't talk to her at all.

So then I scroll down some more and see: "Plus I don't want to come off as bitter or mean for my own self-image and for personal reasons." I understand the self-image part, but 'personal reasons'? What might these personal reasons be?? You afraid she might attempt character assassination??

I hope you wish to ponder them and perhaps discuss them so that you may be released from the shackles of conformity(to an extent).
I appreciate your comments. I have read it over a few times since you posted and I along the way decided that I wouldn't waste any energy on this *****. It really is a shame how culture (American and otherwise) has evolved into such a ****hole that allows women to act this way and excuses them!

Thanks for the strong words of advice! No more bs with one. Btw since I posted this, she invited me twice.

One of those times it was 9pm so I know she was trying to use me as a last resort after her other ones probably bailed on her. Haha
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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