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What would you do?

dk1990S111

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Not that my hamster is going lol I can just never text her again and be fine. But curious how you guys would advise I play this.

Went out with a Tinder HB8 last night. 2 hours, couple drinks each in a bar. Towards the end of the night when we were getting ready to go, she got a little distant and could see plain as day she texted some dude a sexy picture when she went to the bathroom since she was too drunk to notice how she was holding her phone. Walking out of the bar she was saying she had such a great time, no awkward silences and lots in common.

Get outside and her roommate is on the way to pick her up. She’s using a pole to stand up so definitely pretty fked up. Tells me, “you can go now, I’ll just wait for her”. Wasn’t gunna be a simp and tell her I don’t want to leave her alone. Just told her “you sure you’ll be alright?” And she said ya so I took off. Texted her after 20-30 min to see if she made it home ok and didn’t hear back until this morning.

I know from tinder that she lives 1 mile from me, we talked about how we are so close since around here everyone is more spread out. Well could see that she was 3 miles away the next couple hours after we left the bar.

When she told me she made it home ok this morning I haven’t responded. Just not sure I wanna even bother with her. Kinda seemed like a little bit of an angry drunk where as I’m happy.

So any advice?
 

Old Balls

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Drop her (for real) and think about why she didn't want to show you her sexy side instead of that other dude. If you had that much in common with her (bad) then you probably played too nice and tried to not challenge her for fear of friction.
 

Black Widow Void

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If she didn’t thank you for the drinks, she deserves no after-thought. No matter, this sounds like a smug one. Let her be someone else’s headache.

We’ve all encountered these types. It’s like… we know that we out-class this type of chick, but they can still get under our skin.

Sometumes, we have to wade through a few bad ones before coming across a quality gal. Look at it this way… you’re now one girl closer to meeting someone of higher caliber.
 

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Young OG

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Not that my hamster is going lol I can just never text her again and be fine. But curious how you guys would advise I play this.

Went out with a Tinder HB8 last night. 2 hours, couple drinks each in a bar. Towards the end of the night when we were getting ready to go, she got a little distant and could see plain as day she texted some dude a sexy picture when she went to the bathroom since she was too drunk to notice how she was holding her phone. Walking out of the bar she was saying she had such a great time, no awkward silences and lots in common.

Get outside and her roommate is on the way to pick her up. She’s using a pole to stand up so definitely pretty fked up. Tells me, “you can go now, I’ll just wait for her”. Wasn’t gunna be a simp and tell her I don’t want to leave her alone. Just told her “you sure you’ll be alright?” And she said ya so I took off. Texted her after 20-30 min to see if she made it home ok and didn’t hear back until this morning.

I know from tinder that she lives 1 mile from me, we talked about how we are so close since around here everyone is more spread out. Well could see that she was 3 miles away the next couple hours after we left the bar.

When she told me she made it home ok this morning I haven’t responded. Just not sure I wanna even bother with her. Kinda seemed like a little bit of an angry drunk where as I’m happy.

So any advice?
Delete her number and move on. Next.
 

Glassguy

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Why didn't you pick her up on the way to where you met her?
 

dk1990S111

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I wouldn't be surprised if it was the dude that she sent sexy pics to, that picked her up.
Yup what I was thinking too. She made the call to her roommate in front of me walking out but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she just held the phone up to her head not actually talking to anyone based on everything else lol
 

dk1990S111

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Why didn't you pick her up on the way to where you met her?
Well we both live about 2-3 min from the bar. She suggested meeting there.

Last girl I went out with I offered to pick up and she said “oh you’re one of those guys”, didn’t want to get picked up on the first date. So I won’t suggest it but if they ask then no problem
 

manfrombelow

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Your definition of a good date could have been very different from hers. This is something that we men should never forget.

And this:

Just told her “you sure you’ll be alright?” And she said ya so I took off
When it comes to women, minimize the questions as much as possible and use actions instead. For example you can just tell her let's walk to your place and grab her hand.

Anyway, why didn't you respond to her text next morning? You could have said something light and fun and leave it there and wait for about one week to ask her out again. You didn't respond to her text and now you want to hear some advices from us? What advices?
 

Glassguy

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Well we both live about 2-3 min from the bar. She suggested meeting there.

Last girl I went out with I offered to pick up and she said “oh you’re one of those guys”, didn’t want to get picked up on the first date. So I won’t suggest it but if they ask then no problem
They are showing you low interest my man. They show you low interest in their actions and you are expecting high interest action from them. It doesnt work that way.

Honestly- if the woman said "Oh youre one of those guys" to me, I would have said something very direct to her and she was either in or out. I wouldnt care either way.

But I wouldnt be ending a date with a chick sending nudes to another dude and I wouldnt be leaving her so her friend could come pick her up.

She gave you all the signs of being on the fence about you sexually. You went ahead with the date anyways and it played out exactly as you felt it was going to.......probably even worse.

COMPLIANCE! This girl didnt comply from the start. You should have just ghosted her instead of wasting time. But that what happens when you live in that scarcity mindset.

I just had a long conversation with @BeExcellent about this. Sex does not have to happen on the first date. Or second date. But things should progress and the woman shouldnt be hitting the brakes.

Normally when I go out with a new girl, I tell her "I can pick you up or meet you there......either is fine with me". 9 times out of 10 they will have me pick them up. Its a compliance test. Only if the woman has show some sexual flirtation before hand will I meet her there. If I have a bad gut feeling about it and she is dead set on meeting me there, I will probably cancel last minute. I am not going out to waste my time.

There must be PROGRESSION and not BRAKE PUMPING. If a woman wants to pump the brakes, thats fine, I will pass her by.

I am also going to break down a little from your original post........
 

Glassguy

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Towards the end of the night when we were getting ready to go, she got a little distant
She knew the moment of truth was coming........in terms of how to end the date. She knew that she wasnt going home with you BEFORE the date. Which is fine, but she became distant because she knew there must be an exit strategy to keep you on the hook for attention/if she needed something to do if she got bored next week. Which she pulled off flawlessly.....

she texted some dude a sexy picture when she went to the bathroom since she was too drunk to notice how she was holding her phone
Date is over. The fact that you continued shows big time beta tendencies. Her actions were highly disrespectful my man, and you kept taking Mike Tyson punches even after this happened......

I would have just gotten up and left. No explanation. Just bolted. Why? Because I have high standards and my time is very valuable.

Walking out of the bar she was saying she had such a great time, no awkward silences and lots in common.
Lots in common? Do you send dudes sexy pics too? I doubt it. You should have already been to the next bar solo finding the next chick.

Get outside and her roommate is on the way to pick her up. She’s using a pole to stand up so definitely pretty fked up. Tells me, “you can go now, I’ll just wait for her”. Wasn’t gunna be a simp and tell her I don’t want to leave her alone. Just told her “you sure you’ll be alright?”
But you were a simp based on your actions. She texted her friend to come and pick her up around the same time she went to the bathroom to send ole dude a sexy pic.

And it was probably him that was picking her up tbh. Which is why she didnt want you to stick around.

Texted her after 20-30 min to see if she made it home ok and didn’t hear back until this morning.
Yeah because she went home with homeboy and was getting railed.

When she told me she made it home ok this morning I haven’t responded. Just not sure I wanna even bother with her
She texted you after taking care of homeboy's morning wood. He ran her off, she checked her messages and responded back to you.

She is literally throwing you crumbs.

So any advice?
Advice- Delete her number and never respond to her again. Better yet, if she ever reaches back out I would send her "I am free Wednesday evening. If you want to come over and fuc let me know". Purposely knocking this chick off her pedestal on the way out. But you cant pull it off so dont try this......

You are probably thinking my post is harsh. And it is. But its honest and its accurate.

You need to do some soul searching and drop the nice guy attitude with women. Sure you can be nice......I am nice......when they deserve it and comply.

But you should use this as a learning experience of 1.) when to walk away when a woman doesnt comply 2.) when to say "NO" when something isnt benefiting you.

I have a feeling your gut was telling you that something was off with this chick long before the date was over.
 

PRW63

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Went out with a Tinder HB8 last night.
She ain't an 8.
8's don't need Tinder. They have a line of guys waiting at their door longer than a doctor's office.

2 hours, couple drinks each in a bar. Towards the end of the night when we were getting ready to go, she got a little distant
She wasn't into you. You were just a Tinder meetup just like maybe a 100 before you. You weren't better than the rest to her, so she tuned out.

and could see plain as day she texted some dude a sexy picture when she went to the bathroom since she was too drunk to notice how she was holding her phone.
No, it just didn't matter to her. You weren't a BF, just a Tinder meetup,...no obligation to you. She was probably contacting the next guy waiting in line after you. She will probably meet him the next night.

Walking out of the bar she was saying she had such a great time, no awkward silences and lots in common.
She was being polite, respectful and nice at the close of the night. Just respect it and take it for what it is. What else is she supposed to do with a guy that she knows nothing is going to happen with?

Get outside and her roommate is on the way to pick her up. She’s using a pole to stand up so definitely pretty fked up. Tells me, “you can go now, I’ll just wait for her”. Wasn’t gunna be a simp and tell her I don’t want to leave her alone. Just told her “you sure you’ll be alright?” And she said ya so I took off. Texted her after 20-30 min to see if she made it home ok and didn’t hear back until this morning.
You were done by the time she walked outside. There is no logical or expected reason for her to reply to that text.

When she told me she made it home ok this morning I haven’t responded.
Take a hint from her. She was decent and respectful to you at the close of the night when she didn't need to be. So do the same for her and give a short friendly response to that text,...but do it without trying to get another date. If she wanted to get with you again she would indicate it in some manner,...but she hasn't.
 

Barrister

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If what you say is true and she went to the bathroom DURING your date with her and texted another man a sexy pic of herself, I would have almost walked out right then and there. Have some self-respect and delete this woman's number and move on. Is there really any move she could make that would show LOWER interest than that? I don't think so.
 

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PRW63

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If what you say is true and she went to the bathroom DURING your date with her and texted another man a sexy pic of herself, I would have almost walked out right then and there. Have some self-respect and delete this woman's number and move on. Is there really any move she could make that would show LOWER interest than that? I don't think so.
That is very possible that she went in the bathroom and did that.

But I would not respond that way. Both of those responses are kind of like the "Butt-hurt little boy". What I mean by that,... is that if I am "the man" and in charge of myself and what happens to me and around me,...I live in my frame,...then why should I walk out and leave over some chick? If I like the venue and maybe have other friends there, maybe I enjoy the band, I can stay if I want to,...it is MY night out,...I just happened to bring her along. If she isn't enjoying it, she can do whatever she wants,...she is just a Tinder meetup after all.

I'm also not going to be worried about deleting her number,...it isn't going to jump off the phone and bite me. I have every number of every woman I have ever went out with still on the phone. There have been cases that it came in handy where I ended up meeting some other chick through one that I had went out with in the past. Having a civil relationship (small "r") with a past date can always work to my advantage and usually does.
 

Barrister

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That is very possible that she went in the bathroom and did that.

But I would not respond that way. Both of those responses are kind of like the "Butt-hurt little boy". What I mean by that,... is that if I am "the man" and in charge of myself and what happens to me and around me,...I live in my frame,...then why should I walk out and leave over some chick? If I like the venue and maybe have other friends there, maybe I enjoy the band, I can stay if I want to,...it is MY night out,...I just happened to bring her along. If she isn't enjoying it, she can do whatever she wants,...she is just a Tinder meetup after all.

I'm also not going to be worried about deleting her number,...it isn't going to jump off the phone and bite me. I have every number of every woman I have ever went out with still on the phone. There have been cases that it came in handy where I ended up meeting some other chick through one that I had went out with in the past. Having a civil relationship (small "r") with a past date can always work to my advantage and usually does.
I take your point -- to be clear though, I wasn't meaning I would get up and storm out or give her sh1t about it. But I would tell her it was getting late and conclude the date after I saw something like that and never initiate anything with her again. No point of wasting time.
 

BeExcellent

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This woman deserved to be left there. Ya she was drunk. She drunk texted her booty call to come get her. And she didn’t want OP sticking around making things strange. Grown women are responsible for themselves. Let them be. I agree that the best thing would have been to walk out when she went to the bathroom.

Colossal waste of your time. Quit putting lipstick on this pig. It was terribly disrespectful of her. She knew it. You were still there when she came back (which tells her you are clueless and willing to put up with anything) so she took pity on OP and sent him away politely.

And she figures now “Oh he’s SUCH a nice guy….I’ll keep him around for attention and a free meal when I’ve got nothing better to do.

I know that’s brutal. But it’s true. I’ve had to jettison bad dates before. You just be polite & nice to ease the exit.

Next her & never look back.
 

Glassguy

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But I would not respond that way. Both of those responses are kind of like the "Butt-hurt little boy"
No its not. Its what any man that is good with women would have done....walked away.

I was on a date about 3 years ago. I met her at bdubs and she got there first. Upon me sitting down and ordering a beer, she begins war texting her ex/side piece....whoever and this went on for several minutes. I told her that if she needed to tend to something we could try another time......she quit long enough for me to drink a beer and she was right back at it war texting this dude again. So I went to the bathroom......and then I went to my truck and went home.

I texted her as soon as I left and said "Thanks for the beer. Hope it works out with the guy youre texting but I value my time and we are not a match".

She proceeded to blow my phone up apologizing and asking me to come back. I never responded back to her.

Its called having some fvcking respect for yourself my man.

What I mean by that,... is that if I am "the man" and in charge of myself and what happens to me and around me,...I live in my frame,...then why should I walk out and leave over some chick? If I like the venue and maybe have other friends there, maybe I enjoy the band, I can stay if I want to,...it is MY night out,...I just happened to bring her along. If she isn't enjoying it, she can do whatever she wants,...she is just a Tinder meetup after all.

I'm also not going to be worried about deleting her number,...it isn't going to jump off the phone and bite me. I have every number of every woman I have ever went out with still on the phone. There have been cases that it came in handy where I ended up meeting some other chick through one that I had went out with in the past. Having a civil relationship (small "r") with a past date can always work to my advantage and usually does.
But you didnt ditch her to listen to the band. Or meet other women who were there. Or anything that a man with standards would have done. And you even babied her at the end of the date.

She spit in your face and you came back for more. So lets call a spade a spade. You need to work on having more self respect.

If you dont respect yourself, your time and your money, how do you expect anyone else to respect you?
 
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