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What would you do in this scenario?

sosumba

Don Juan
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How do you proceed right now when your woman mentions something like this:

Variant 1: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, its soo gorgeous..."
Variant 2: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, he always does things for her and they are a happy couple..."


She could be talking about how nice the necklace is but she is highlighting the fact that her bofyriend is a guy I should be like in that regard and hence its a comparison manipulation. Knowing that we understand that she wants a necklace, present or attention (treating her like a queen perhaps?) of some sort and she is not just telling that completely randomly.

How would you proceed in this moment?

A: Ignore, like you didnt hear it. (this would probably make her repat herself at some other point which complicates things)
B: "Mhm" and proceed listening acting as though such thing for her to say is part of normal conversation (this could make her repat herself but less likely, I think)
C: "Good for her"
D: "Maybe he did something stupid" (probably bad from long-term perspective since she would expect such present if I fvck up at some point)
E: "Cool, I wish he would buy me one too. Do you think I would look nice with that necklace?" (I think this is good in variant 1 but not in variant 2)
F: ?
 
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FlexpertHamilton

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Acknowledge it but with a nonchalant tone. Oh, interesting, that was nice of him. It's unlikely she'd ever resort to straight up saying "why don't you buy me nice things?", but if she does, you could respond by saying "that's not my style" or "that's not how I show my affection to someone" or something to that effect.

If she's cun*ty about it, throw the same thing back at her "my buddy Joe gets home cooked meals and spontaneous BJs from his gf all the time..." Or better yet, withdraw attention until she stops. (but only if she is being a **** about it).
 
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HyenaPrince

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How do you proceed right now when your woman mentions something like this:

Variant 1: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, its soo gorgeous..."
Variant 2: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, he always does things for her and they are a happy couple..."


She could be talking about how nice the necklace is but she is highlighting the fact that her bofyriend is a guy I should be like in that regard and hence its a comparison manipulation. Knowing that we understand that she wants a necklace, present or attention (treating her like a queen perhaps?) of some sort and she is not just telling that completely randomly.

How would you proceed in this moment?

A: Ignore, like you didnt hear it. (this would probably make her repat herself at some other point which complicates things)
B: "Mhm" and proceed listening acting as though such thing for her to say is part of normal conversation (this could make her repat herself but less likely, I think)
C: "Good for her"
D: "Maybe he did something stupid" (probably bad from long-term perspective since she would expect such present if I fvck up at some point)
E: "Cool, I wish he would buy me one too. Do you think I would look nice with that necklace?" (I think this is good in variant 1 but not in variant 2)
F: ?
E. is the best option of the varieties you've provided. Alternatively you could tell her that she's not Mary and you know she doesn't want a necklace. "Random necklaces aren't unique. What I'm about to give you is." and then you start touching her a*s. This, of course, depends on her mood and how you pull it off. You have to be completely confident and smooth while doing this. If her birthday is coming up, you could follow up by telling her "Mary will want to switch places with you if she knew what I'm planning for your birthday."

This sets you up for a creative task. If you choose this path you shouldn't give her anything material, since you need a contrast to the aforementioned necklace. Instead, plan a small trip and finish the day with a relaxing spa. She'll melt.
 

BeExcellent

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My advice is a simpler version of E.

Just say “Cool. That’s awesome” and drive on in the conversation to talk about something totally unrelated.

Then you pay close attention. Does she do ANYTHING to steer the conversation back to that topic whatsoever or does she drop it? That’s the key.

If she drops it, then cool. Y’all are good. If she ever mentions it again you put her on the spot, a la

“Why so fixated on the whole necklace thing?”

And then you observe.

As an aside...do you pick up any indications from her that she’s fishing for stuff from you? Attention, things, etc., or do you get any indication that she’s comparing Mary’s outcome to her own vis a vis the relationship?

Those are the larger takeaways from the necklace comments. This isn’t about the necklace. It’s about something bigger. That’s what you need to pay attention to. What is the bigger issue the necklace comment represents...
 

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Mauser96

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How do you proceed right now when your woman mentions something like this:

Variant 1: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, its soo gorgeous..."
Variant 2: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, he always does things for her and they are a happy couple..."


She could be talking about how nice the necklace is but she is highlighting the fact that her bofyriend is a guy I should be like in that regard and hence its a comparison manipulation. Knowing that we understand that she wants a necklace, present or attention (treating her like a queen perhaps?) of some sort and she is not just telling that completely randomly.

How would you proceed in this moment?

A: Ignore, like you didnt hear it. (this would probably make her repat herself at some other point which complicates things)
B: "Mhm" and proceed listening acting as though such thing for her to say is part of normal conversation (this could make her repat herself but less likely, I think)
C: "Good for her"
D: "Maybe he did something stupid" (probably bad from long-term perspective since she would expect such present if I fvck up at some point)
E: "Cool, I wish he would buy me one too. Do you think I would look nice with that necklace?" (I think this is good in variant 1 but not in variant 2)
F: ?

f: She must really treat him well, I bet she is wild in the sack!
 

Suave88

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How do you proceed right now when your woman mentions something like this:

Variant 1: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, its soo gorgeous..."
Variant 2: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, he always does things for her and they are a happy couple..."


She could be talking about how nice the necklace is but she is highlighting the fact that her bofyriend is a guy I should be like in that regard and hence its a comparison manipulation. Knowing that we understand that she wants a necklace, present or attention (treating her like a queen perhaps?) of some sort and she is not just telling that completely randomly.

How would you proceed in this moment?

A: Ignore, like you didnt hear it. (this would probably make her repat herself at some other point which complicates things)
B: "Mhm" and proceed listening acting as though such thing for her to say is part of normal conversation (this could make her repat herself but less likely, I think)
C: "Good for her"
D: "Maybe he did something stupid" (probably bad from long-term perspective since she would expect such present if I fvck up at some point)
E: "Cool, I wish he would buy me one too. Do you think I would look nice with that necklace?" (I think this is good in variant 1 but not in variant 2)
F: ?
I say "E" but shorter, "C" is good too.
Alternatively "Poor guy...."
 

Lookatu

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"Cool. maybe you should wait to date him once he's available..."

But seriously, she may equate love with gifts. You could entertain yourself by both of you taking the 5 love language test and see how each of you interpret "love"(I know it's bs for some). This may help understand each other better.


Each individual cherish and interprets these 5 things in different order of importance:
  • Physical Touch
  • Time Spent
  • Acts of Service
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
 

dude99

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How do you proceed right now when your woman mentions something like this:

Variant 1: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, its soo gorgeous..."
Variant 2: "My friend Mary's boyfriend bought her a super nice necklace, he always does things for her and they are a happy couple..."


She could be talking about how nice the necklace is but she is highlighting the fact that her bofyriend is a guy I should be like in that regard and hence its a comparison manipulation. Knowing that we understand that she wants a necklace, present or attention (treating her like a queen perhaps?) of some sort and she is not just telling that completely randomly.

How would you proceed in this moment?

A: Ignore, like you didnt hear it. (this would probably make her repat herself at some other point which complicates things)
B: "Mhm" and proceed listening acting as though such thing for her to say is part of normal conversation (this could make her repat herself but less likely, I think)
C: "Good for her"
D: "Maybe he did something stupid" (probably bad from long-term perspective since she would expect such present if I fvck up at some point)
E: "Cool, I wish he would buy me one too. Do you think I would look nice with that necklace?" (I think this is good in variant 1 but not in variant 2)
F: ?

F. Check it before it starts. When they start to hint they want material things, it is a slippery slope. Women will want to compete with each other as to who can spend more of their BF'S money. Stop it before it starts.

"Cool. That was too nice of him. I'm so glad you're not shallow and materialistic like Mary is, and you value the relationship, and not material things like her. It is only a matter of time before poor Mary's BF feels used and will begin to resent her for being so materialistic. I'm soooo lucky you aren't like that."
 

Rainman4707

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Depends if its a gf or plate. Variant 1 - i would say "cool"

Variant 2 happened to my in my last LTR.
My gf at the time was telling me how her best friends partner paid for three course meals all the time.
My gf was wanting me to pay for her now and then.
I told her i will, when i want to.

Gf - when will that be, and how often.

RM - Maybe once in 7....could be anytime. Whenever I feel like it

Gf - i was thinking maybe one out of three.

RM - i wont be told what to do.

I almost always went halfs in that relationship. Sometimes a little over half
 

lostintime

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"Yeah, I noticed. He must really be in the dog house. Poor son of a *****"
 

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