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What would you do in my situation?

user252009

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I've been flirting with this girl at work for several months now, we've been texting and we hung out once, she's the most amazing person I've ever met - and I don't say that lightly. My problem is that I like her a lot, so I asked her to hang out a few times, and after she couldn't make it twice or so I left it up to her. She always comes back and starts text-chasing me, and is keeping me totally hung up on her, and it's making me hopeful and miserable at the same time. I'm heading out of the country for about a month in the next few days, so we've talked about hanging out but she wasn't sure of her schedule so I told her to let me know. She still hasn't. Problem is, we are connected on social media, so if I could, I would have just blocked her and that was that. However, as we work at the same place I know she'd come over and ask me what's going on. She's genuinely an extremely nice person so I don't want to be a **** about the whole thing, but at the same time I can't go on like this. I've been texting with other women as well lately, just not dating or anything like that yet. I've also been single for a few years, so yeah...it's pretty ****ty.

What would you guys do if you were in my situation?
 

HyenaPrince

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she's the most amazing person I've ever met - and I don't say that lightly.
It may feel like that.

I asked her to hang out a few times, and after she couldn't make it twice or so I left it up to her.
Not good fam. A few times?! She reacted to your invitations twice or you asked twice? If she said no twice there is no leaving it up to her. She already made a point. Do you want to stay kosher because of her until she finally gives you allowance? No man, just no.

so we've talked about hanging out but she wasn't sure of her schedule so I told her to let me know. She still hasn't
Same thing. She's playing you if she isn't a virgin.

Just text other women. Meet and then f*ck them. Do you know why? Because that way you will have less pressure when it comes to making decisions regarding your holy princess. You will be clear-headed and rational.

Don't let the fact that you have to see her at work determine how you handle the situation. You can deada** ghost her a** or even tell her that you don't want none of that bullsh*t. You tell her: "I'm tired of talking to other b*tches because you aren't able to decide what you want. Come through or don't. I don't have time for this."
 

Lookatu

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Like a broken record, next her.

You've already given her two chances. She just wants to be validated, given attention, and want to be your friend. That's all.

Since you work with her and don't want any bad blood, withdraw attention and say you've just been busy dating a gal or seeing someone.

She's had her chance and you shouldn't be playing her games.

Also you saying she's "the most amazing person you've ever met" reeks of your desperation and the fact that you need to get out more and meet more women. Because I guarantee you, you'll look back at this someday and realize how pitiful you were and question what the heck you were thinking.
 

lamath

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Dont block her, just set your account to not see anything from her.
She is not interested or low interest, just stop giving her any attention.
 

user252009

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Dont block her, just set your account to not see anything from her.
She is not interested or low interest, just stop giving her any attention.
I took away all my attention, I never initiate contact anymore, but she does every few days or so. That's the tricky part - if I ignore her, she's gonna come and ask what's going on, and if I don't, I'll keep getting strung along.
 

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lamath

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I took away all my attention, I never initiate contact anymore, but she does every few days or so. That's the tricky part - if I ignore her, she's gonna come and ask what's going on, and if I don't, I'll keep getting strung along.
One word anwser, take a long time to anwser her, she will get the msg.
If she dont tell her you are not looking for more friend.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Demote her to strictly coworker status indefinitely.
 

Serenity

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You're more into her than she's into you and you're imagining she's more into you than she actually is. It's basic infatuation. What I would do in your situation if I knew what I just told you is to pull back and wean myself off of my fantasy.

Been there, done that. Even if she's nice she doesn't want you "like that", you must let go of this one. There's nothing you can do to get what you desire out of her. Don't block her or anything, keep being friendly, but you need to detach emotionally.
 

stringpuller

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I've been flirting with this girl at work for several months now, we've been texting and we hung out once, she's the most amazing person I've ever met -
Stab yourself in the face is a good start. Just saying. Then buy a book called the unbreakable rules of masculinity. Then hope your mom never calls you Sweetheart again.
 

Glassguy

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I took away all my attention, I never initiate contact anymore, but she does every few days or so. That's the tricky part - if I ignore her, she's gonna come and ask what's going on, and if I don't, I'll keep getting strung along.
And why do you even need to answer her question of why you didnt respond? You owe her nothing. Why is that hard for guys to understand?

She isn't fvcking you. You owe her nothing.

She sucks and fvcks you 5 times a week. You still owe her nothing.

You marry a woman and try to then get away from her? You'll owe her half.

It's not hard to grasp.

You guys want women to pursue you and you go and do everything backwards and then ask what went wrong.

Your scarcity mindset. That's what's wrong.
 

Visionist

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The only way to deal with an attention whöre is to starve it.

Stop responding to all her messages. When she asks why, say you're seeing someone. At work say Hi & Bye if you must, and nothing in between. Delete her number or rename it "Attention Whöre".

This isn't to kindle her interest; that plane has flown and crashed in the ocean in the middle of the night with no survivors. It's to wean yourself off of her.

And No, she isn't amazing. She shîts and farts just like I do. Difference being, I am amazing and she isn't. :cool:
 

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Robert28

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Think about what you just wrote. “Texting for several MONTHS. We hung out ONCE” Read that again. My point is if this girl was anything but an attention parasite, you would have hung out way more times than just once in the span of months that you’ve been flirting and texting.
 

Xanderson

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Give the cold shoulde shebwill come back plus only ask a women out twice then move on or leave her on ice for a few weeks and ask again
 

dude99

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I've been flirting with this girl at work for several months now, we've been texting and we hung out once, she's the most amazing person I've ever met - and I don't say that lightly. My problem is that I like her a lot, so I asked her to hang out a few times, and after she couldn't make it twice or so I left it up to her. She always comes back and starts text-chasing me, and is keeping me totally hung up on her, and it's making me hopeful and miserable at the same time. I'm heading out of the country for about a month in the next few days, so we've talked about hanging out but she wasn't sure of her schedule so I told her to let me know. She still hasn't. Problem is, we are connected on social media, so if I could, I would have just blocked her and that was that. However, as we work at the same place I know she'd come over and ask me what's going on. She's genuinely an extremely nice person so I don't want to be a **** about the whole thing, but at the same time I can't go on like this. I've been texting with other women as well lately, just not dating or anything like that yet. I've also been single for a few years, so yeah...it's pretty ****ty.

What would you guys do if you were in my situation?
You validate her. Nothing more.

What would i do in this situation? Go date other women. You have attempted to make plans with her at least 3 times. You are 0 for 3. Would you invest your money if your financial adviser said " 3 people before you have already lost their life savings in this investment. It is guaranteed to fail."

Would you put your money in it? No. Why invest your time and attention and possible finances in a girl that wants you as nothing more than an orbiter ?

Next.
 

dude99

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I took away all my attention, I never initiate contact anymore, but she does every few days or so. That's the tricky part - if I ignore her, she's gonna come and ask what's going on, and if I don't, I'll keep getting strung along.
Keep ignoring her. If she comes and asks what is going on, you just explain you are busy and will get back to her when you have time.
 
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