What would you do if you were married to this

[exhausted]

My ex wife was the same way. I acted the same way too. Problem was you rewarded her bad behavior as I did.

It seems the better you treat a person the worse they treat you.

Yep. And with all i did she couldn't handle me leading..
her spoiled brat entitlement always caused us to fight.
I still lead which is why i bailed. Constant problems.

My mom said the same thing about putting up w her bad behavior.. just as you did..
i never felt i did as there were always backlash from me.

 

[Bokanovsky]

From what I gather from quickly skimming the article, she's unhappy because her husband wouldn’t spend several hours of his time "to make the calls, get multiple quotes, research and vet each service, arrange payment and schedule the appointment" (who the hell uses the word 'vet' in reference to a house cleaning service, of all things??) Instead, the husband called one place, thought it was too expensive and figured it would be easier to just clean the damn bathrooms himself. Seems logical to me, but hey, I’m just a guy, what do I know about “emotional labour”.

Now let’s look at it from another angle. Let’s say her husband wanted to be relieved of the “emotional labor” needed to have the engine in the family car repaired. So for Father’s Day, he asks the wife to call a bunch of garages, research and “vet” each place and arrange for the repairs. What are the chances that a) the wife actually agrees to do that and b) if she does, the end result is anything but an unmitigated disaster?

 

[dude99]

"Emotional labour." The term she coined to be the justification for her bad behaviour. Unfortunately the guy in the picture didnt put his foot down.

Iet me sum up her article:

"Me. Me. More me. I am what is important. Me. You offering to do cleaning isn't good enough. You must read my mind. When you can't read my mind i will punish you for it. More me. Me and as long as it is about me."

As my father would say and i quote "dump the b!tch."

 

[SkrooU]

I didn't read every word. But from what I did read, she didn't mention what kind of stress her husband might be under, the kind of stress that she didn't have to endure.
I have to disagree with the entire point the article was trying to make. It assumed men have it easier than women? That men never have to deal with a woman who can't keep clean up after themselves and control their spending? That women overall can be a real moody pain in the a$$ and being a real man means internalizing your own stress so you can let her vent hers onto you because you're the rock? The rock that apparently can't keep every item in the house exactly where someone else wants it to be at all times.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I'd tell her to STFU and make me a sammich. Jesus, what an entitled, self important b*tch.

And he's as bad because he's ceded control to her. If he can find his balls wherever she's hiding them, he needs to put them back on.

-Augustus-

 

[lizardking82]

Seems very similar to a situation I am dealing with now, but not a wife, though a plate.

@BeExcellent gave me a solid piece of advice regarding this and it goes like this "If she is not being positive, either ignore until she understands what goes down and what doesn't OR call her out on it OR tell her there are other people who are acting right in the mean time". I went for a mixture between calling out and ignoring as the situation requires.

On the other hand, @Atom Smasher gave me a very sound other piece of advice, namely "if she doesn't respect your energy that you put in the communication, that situation has to be resolved one way or the other".

From my own thought process (although I am still developing the skill set to do that), any person who doesn't appreciate you spending energy, time and feelings with them, gotta be at least demoted and why not also taken away from your life.

 

[Asasione]

My ex wife was the same way. I acted the same way too. Problem was you rewarded her bad behavior as I did.

It seems the better you treat a person the worse they treat you.

Everything in moderation, being thoughtful is best done as a response to good behavior than the standard you set. If it's normal for you to treat them very well then it will be taken for granted. I have no idea why people not just women behave like this but once they get used to it, it's not special anymore.

 

[exhausted]

"Emotional labour." The term she coined to be the justification for her bad behaviour. Unfortunately the guy in the picture didnt put his foot down.

Iet me sum up her article:

"Me. Me. More me. I am what is important. Me. You offering to do cleaning isn't good enough. You must read my mind. When you can't read my mind i will punish you for it. More me. Me and as long as it is about me."

As my father would say and i quote "dump the b!tch."

Sounds like my ex.

Your dad is great