What would you do here?

[sosumba]

So you set up a date and you are about to pick her up in your car. You come at exactly the time you agreed on and you call her to tell her you just pared outside. Then she tells you that she can't fvcking do it today and gives some bs reason. Like wtf? This is disrespectful as fvck couldn't she fvcking called before or whatever!? So the problem here is that I can't just ghost this girl in particular or be rude. On the other hand, I dont want to let this go. What are the options here is you want to say something to convey that this was really not okay but diplomatically without sounding like being butthurt five-year old.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Say "OK. Enjoy your night" and then delete her number.

Clearly this woman has no respect for you so have some respect for yourself.

 

[Tilex]

You could give her a taste of her own medicine.

Tell her you made reservations at [insert name] Steakhouse and you've been upgraded to VIP, which offers unlimited champagne.
This entire idea is just a fantasy to make her waste her time. You can make up anything to sweeten the deal.
Ask her if she wants to meet you there.
Check and see if she'll fall for the bait.

 

[rjc149]

So the problem here is that I can't just ghost this girl in particular or be rude.

What exactly is the problem with this?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What exactly is the problem with this?

White Knights in training can't do that apparently. Against their code or something.

 

[Black Widow Void]

If you feel the need to make concessions for someone that offered you the opposite, this is a problem.

Although it's best to really let this go, we've all wanted justice.

If you can charm her worst enemy or her best friend and make it a date... you'll get deeper under her skin, than she has yours.

 

[sph21]

You can do what women always do when they're not interested by not replying.

Just ignore her and move on.

 

[Georgepithyou]

This is why i usually send a confirmation text a few hours before, and depending on what type of reply they give i adjust my plans.

If she is slow to reply or short/abrupt well it could mean she is going to flake.

Also i don't pick women up, first 3 dates are always just a drink. We always just meet up at the bar or cafe. Keep the investment low on your part.

 

[DSterlen]

This is why i usually send a confirmation text a few hours before,

Absolutely, particularly on first dates when she may or may not be that into you yet. Easy way to reduce the likelihood and risk.

That's also why a long time ago I made a rule not to schedule first dates further out than the day after tomorrow. More than that is too much time for legitimate conflicts to come up, less time for her to talk herself out of it, less time to get nervous and less hamster-brain activity overall.

 

[TheKid]

No respect means its a done deal, when will guys start to understand this.
Unless she is showing you respect you are her plate.
One sign of disrespect within the first few meetups and its over, do not look back.

 

[rjc149]

OP, this question lacks a lot of context-- this is basically asking "how long should a piece of string be?"

Was this a first date? Second, third? Are you already seeing her?

Why exactly can't you ghost or tell her off? Is she your boss's daughter, or your actual boss? Is this is a girl you have daily contact with, ie. at work? Is there a legitimate reason why you have to eat sh!t in this scenario?

Did you schedule a tentative date far in advance, get a wishy-washy 'yes' and then eagerly just show up? People get busy, things come up, and girls have other guys hitting them up for dates. Is there any reasonable suspicion that she simply forgot you had a date?

What kind of rapport did you have with this girl before you set a date? Some online rando you've never met in person, or a girl in your social/professional life?

Because if this was a first date, you, essentially a stranger, are not entitled to her time. You have given her no reason to remember you over the other guys hitting her up. You have no place to demand that she up-end her evening schedule to go on a date with you if it wasn't set in the calendar with a confirmation and you just showed up.

 

[Lookatu]

This is why i usually send a confirmation text a few hours before

I generally send a confirmation when I'm about to leave. There's a lot of things that can happen in a few hours based on my experience.

 

[Tsar Nickolas]

Spin more plates.

 

[darksprezzatura]

You can do what women always do when they're not interested by not replying.

Just ignore her and move on.

Gold

 

[bcude]

You hold her accountable for this extremely sh1tty behavior and deliver it in a a calm "as a matter of fact" kind of way and then you go on with your life where she gets zero attention in the future.
You know you won't sleep very well if you just ignore what she did and if women are supposed to change for the better, they need to be called out when they do BS like this. Also, you seem to care too much on how you're perceived. She just disqualified herself so who cares what she thinks about you.

 

[rjc149]

Since the OP hasn't provided any context here, let's assume they had a date in the calendar, it was good to go, and she flaked last-minute.

You're asking if there's a way to diplomatically and logically explain to her that what she did isn't cool, as if she's now suddenly going to start giving a rat sh!t about you and your time.

There is no way. Here's how I would have handled it.

Me: Here. Parked outside.
Her: I can't, blah blah blah I'm so sorry.
Me: lol -- you're fvcking with me right?
Her: No, I know it's fvcked up I'm so sorry, I should have blah blah blah, but blah blah
Me: Wow. Major sh!t move. Enjoy your night.

Then ghost. Don't delete. Deleting means she got under my skin. I won't give her that. Just disappear.

If she hit me up again, I would acknowledge that I knew it was her, because I moved on from this more or less instantaneously and didn't feel the need to block her or put any further thought into her.

My response: "Hey. Lose my number and don't ever contact me again. Thanks."

And that's it.

 

[Serenity]

Then ghost. Don't delete. Deleting means she got under my skin. I won't give her that. Just disappear.

On the other hand, not deleting for this reason means you do care about her opinion of you.

I wouldn't. Contact info is useless, delete. It's logical. Then if she tries to contact you again you can sincerely hit her with "who are you?" and "train has left the station" when she tells you who she is or just leave it hanging at that.

 

[17 shots]

Set up another date with her, and make sure it's something she'll really want to do. Act like you're on your way and tell her you're outside, but this time you don't show up

Then never respond again

 

[Romanemp22]

If I drove to her house and then she says she can't come? Well that b1tch is getting out one way or another.

I would definitely go into her house (done that before) and pulled her aggressively out . After that she would never ever do some flaky disrespectful sh1t around me and would be submissive to the core.

I would never do it if she cancels before I even got ready for date but if I'm in front of her house and she do that? Shes gonna get it the hard way.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

If I drove to her house and then she says she can't come? Well that b1tch is getting out one way or another.

I would definitely go into her house (done that before) and pulled her aggressively out . After that she would never ever do some flaky disrespectful sh1t around me and would be submissive to the core.

I would never do it if she cancels before I even got ready for date but if I'm in front of her house and she do that? Shes gonna get it the hard way.

People get shot that way.