Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
It makes sense that most counter culture members are young people. They haven't found their way in the world yet, they haven't established their value yet, they haven't established their resource streams. So they want to rebel against the world that they haven't learned to succeed in yet. Later, once they have learned what to do and how to succeed, they tend to no longer belong to the counter culture.I believe that "counter culture" is more of a movement. These are people that either didn't fit in (sour grapes) or were disenfranchised with the status quo and therefor created their own movement.
There's more ways to succeed in life, but this is one of the hardest ways. It's much easier to learn how to work within the system than it is to change the system. As you say, these people haven't established their value or resource streams, they don't stand a chance to change the world. If they really do want to change the system they'll have to learn the current system first to take advantage of it and accumulate resources, then if they get really good at it they might stand a chance. By then they would probably have accepted it as it is anyways.So they want to rebel against the world that they haven't learned to succeed in yet.
So they want to rebel against the world that they haven't learned to succeed in yet.
Being part of my favorite forum members, I always take time to read ya'lls postings... but I have to disagree with the above shared opinion.There's more ways to succeed in life, but this is one of the hardest ways. It's much easier to learn how to work within the system than it is to change the system. As you say, these people haven't established their value or resource streams, they don't stand a chance to change the world. If they really do want to change the system they'll have to learn the current system first to take advantage of it and accumulate resources, then if they get really good at it they might stand a chance. By then they would probably have accepted it as it is anyways.
I absolutely agree, it is ultimately subjective."Success" and "Value" are subjective terms.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I wouldn't say that, people contribute value in a variety of ways. It was more of an observation of what I see happen with people as they mature.it appears that you two seem to measure your own worth by ether surrendering to conformity or by the standards of others?