"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

what we do subculture or counter culture movement?

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Poonani Maker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
4,392
Reaction score
927
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
3,796
I'm too lazy to do an internet search, but I'll put in my 2¢

I believe that "counter culture" is more of a movement. These are people that either didn't fit in (sour grapes) or were disenfranchised with the status quo and therefor created their own movement.

"Sub-culture" is in my opinion, folks that aren't really into making a 'statement' or longing for a sense of "belonging," unity or recognition.

To give an example; Back in my teens, I liked a (then new style of music) called "punk rock" but unlike my friends that dressed the part; spiking their hair, having mohawks, ripped clothes etc..(counter culture) I never got into putting on the uniform (sub culture).
 
Last edited:

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Reality.
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,234
Reaction score
2,821
Age
48
I would call it a counter-culture because we don't like the way the mainstream is going.

But I think speed dawg is right, it's just reality
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

eli77

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Messages
2,706
Reaction score
596
Location
Miami fl
id go with sub culture im still stuck with clothes from the 90's :)
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,787
Reaction score
10,009
I believe that "counter culture" is more of a movement. These are people that either didn't fit in (sour grapes) or were disenfranchised with the status quo and therefor created their own movement.
It makes sense that most counter culture members are young people. They haven't found their way in the world yet, they haven't established their value yet, they haven't established their resource streams. So they want to rebel against the world that they haven't learned to succeed in yet. Later, once they have learned what to do and how to succeed, they tend to no longer belong to the counter culture.

Sometimes you see older people in the counter culture, but these are the exception. They never found their way, or they decided to embrace the counter culture and never leave it, for whatever reason. But most people leave it as they mature. The old saying: If you're young and not a liberal, you have no heart. If you're older and not a conservative, you have no brain.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,150
Reaction score
5,057
Age
35
Location
Eye of the storm
So they want to rebel against the world that they haven't learned to succeed in yet.
There's more ways to succeed in life, but this is one of the hardest ways. It's much easier to learn how to work within the system than it is to change the system. As you say, these people haven't established their value or resource streams, they don't stand a chance to change the world. If they really do want to change the system they'll have to learn the current system first to take advantage of it and accumulate resources, then if they get really good at it they might stand a chance. By then they would probably have accepted it as it is anyways.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,152
Reaction score
3,796
So they want to rebel against the world that they haven't learned to succeed in yet.
There's more ways to succeed in life, but this is one of the hardest ways. It's much easier to learn how to work within the system than it is to change the system. As you say, these people haven't established their value or resource streams, they don't stand a chance to change the world. If they really do want to change the system they'll have to learn the current system first to take advantage of it and accumulate resources, then if they get really good at it they might stand a chance. By then they would probably have accepted it as it is anyways.
Being part of my favorite forum members, I always take time to read ya'lls postings... but I have to disagree with the above shared opinion.

"Success" and "Value" are subjective terms. You both have always appeared unafraid to post your unique opinions here. And I respect that. However, judging by both above postings, it appears that you two seem to measure your own worth by ether surrendering to conformity or by the standards of others?
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,150
Reaction score
5,057
Age
35
Location
Eye of the storm
"Success" and "Value" are subjective terms.
I absolutely agree, it is ultimately subjective.

I consider it a success to get what I desire, if conformity leads me to my goal faster than rebellion then obviously I will take the most efficient path. If playing the system is faster than defeating the system, then I will play the system. Sometimes going against the grain is faster, I will of course take that path if that serves me better

It has nothing to do with my self-worth. I stopped depending my self-worth on what everyone else thinks of me years ago, whether or not I can reach my goals in the estimated time matters more, I self-evaluate. In some situation others perception of me matters to reach a goal, whether I accept those terms is evaluated on a case to case basis. Sometimes it's not worth it to me, sometimes the end justifies the means.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,787
Reaction score
10,009
it appears that you two seem to measure your own worth by ether surrendering to conformity or by the standards of others?
I wouldn't say that, people contribute value in a variety of ways. It was more of an observation of what I see happen with people as they mature.

Second, I can't help but notice how many of our traditional values are under attack, and I don't like seeing it. For instance, right now in the US there is a strong push for socialism, which is a proven failed system, a serious mistake, and completely against the founding principles of the US, and of self reliance. So my comments are partly in that context. The counterculture youths are largely socialists.
 
Top