"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What was the point of her texting me?

.Paradox.

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Girl I'm dating texts me this morning..

Her: Whatup, sexy?
Me: Just relaxing and having some brunch. What's going on with you, sexy girl?
Her: Working. Missing you. (I took this as "I WANT TO SEE YOU")
Her: Mmm Brunch. I had a chocolate truffle so far today.
Me: :) What time do you get off work? I'm taking my dad out for his birthday dinner around 6, but afterwords we should hang-out.
Her: I work till 1:45, then have a short break, then work again from 3:30-6. I'm supposed to go meet up with *friend* and some friends after. If that falls though I will let you know.
Me: Okay

For some reason I'm pissed that she texted me. I mean.. Wtf was the point? Or am I vastly overreacting?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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floydb25

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What's the problem? You're dating. Is she not supposed to come in contact with you, and say she misses you or compliment you? What's to be angry about?
 

st_99

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sounds like you're ticked that friends come before you. lol.

who cares, remember.. you're the prize.
 

Alex DeLarge

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There is no problem here.. She's just saying that she misses you.. Which is awesome because that demonstrates to you that you are on her mind a lot, which is also awesome because it demonstrates high interest level. Although with you asking her out, that may develop further complexities.. Such as

"I work til 1:45 then have a short break, then work again 3:30 to 6. I'm supposed to meet up with *friend* and some friends after, if that falls through I will let you know"

This can easily be interpreted as "Yeah I'll call you if I have nothing better to do" but it's totally not like that. It's probably more like she has plans, and would like to see you.. but it was kind of last minute so she'll hangout with you if her other plans fall through cause she misses you.

If you have another date scheduled, then just wait until that. Don't over-analyze it all.
 

floydb25

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Alex: That's how I saw it, too. Guess I didn't think about the alternative you mentioned. That kind of analyzing and mindset is bad... Very bad. It's easy to misinterpret text messages, so don't jump to conclusions or assume anything. Her interest seems positive.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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exile663dfx

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Alex DeLarge said:
There is no problem here.. She's just saying that she misses you.. Which is awesome because that demonstrates to you that you are on her mind a lot, which is also awesome because it demonstrates high interest level. Although with you asking her out, that may develop further complexities.. Such as

"I work til 1:45 then have a short break, then work again 3:30 to 6. I'm supposed to meet up with *friend* and some friends after, if that falls through I will let you know"

This can easily be interpreted as "Yeah I'll call you if I have nothing better to do" but it's totally not like that. It's probably more like she has plans, and would like to see you.. but it was kind of last minute so she'll hangout with you if her other plans fall through cause she misses you.

If you have another date scheduled, then just wait until that. Don't over-analyze it all.

Alex is right. You're probably "pissed" because she rejected you. Relax and move on with your day.
 

Jariel

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She just wanted to keep in touch that's all. But had already made plans so couldn't meet, or maybe she just wants to hold off meeting you to save things from getting too heavy.

Nothing wrong here except your reaction. You need to be careful if such trivial and harmless matters are getting to you like this. Be cool man.
 

Alex DeLarge

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exile663dfx said:
Alex is right. You're probably "pissed" because she rejected you. Relax and move on with your day.
That's not really what I was saying at all. She didn't reject him. She just had plans so she couldn't go out with him. Not a big deal at all, in fact.. I'd hope the person I was dating had a life of their own.

If I had plans to go to a concert with my buddies on a friday night and a girl hit me up that day asking if I want to go to a movie around the same time of the concert, I'd tell her "I'm going to a concert with my buddies tonight, but if something comes up I'll give you a call"

What i said in my prior post, is that it's easy to misinterpret things like that as interest level dropping when it's not at all. The person just had plans. Thats why face to face communication > texting. Or even talking on the phone is better.
 
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