"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What was the point of her texting me?

.Paradox.

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Girl I'm dating texts me this morning..

Her: Whatup, sexy?
Me: Just relaxing and having some brunch. What's going on with you, sexy girl?
Her: Working. Missing you. (I took this as "I WANT TO SEE YOU")
Her: Mmm Brunch. I had a chocolate truffle so far today.
Me: :) What time do you get off work? I'm taking my dad out for his birthday dinner around 6, but afterwords we should hang-out.
Her: I work till 1:45, then have a short break, then work again from 3:30-6. I'm supposed to go meet up with *friend* and some friends after. If that falls though I will let you know.
Me: Okay

For some reason I'm pissed that she texted me. I mean.. Wtf was the point? Or am I vastly overreacting?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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floydb25

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What's the problem? You're dating. Is she not supposed to come in contact with you, and say she misses you or compliment you? What's to be angry about?
 

st_99

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sounds like you're ticked that friends come before you. lol.

who cares, remember.. you're the prize.
 

Alex DeLarge

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There is no problem here.. She's just saying that she misses you.. Which is awesome because that demonstrates to you that you are on her mind a lot, which is also awesome because it demonstrates high interest level. Although with you asking her out, that may develop further complexities.. Such as

"I work til 1:45 then have a short break, then work again 3:30 to 6. I'm supposed to meet up with *friend* and some friends after, if that falls through I will let you know"

This can easily be interpreted as "Yeah I'll call you if I have nothing better to do" but it's totally not like that. It's probably more like she has plans, and would like to see you.. but it was kind of last minute so she'll hangout with you if her other plans fall through cause she misses you.

If you have another date scheduled, then just wait until that. Don't over-analyze it all.
 

floydb25

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Alex: That's how I saw it, too. Guess I didn't think about the alternative you mentioned. That kind of analyzing and mindset is bad... Very bad. It's easy to misinterpret text messages, so don't jump to conclusions or assume anything. Her interest seems positive.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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exile663dfx

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Alex DeLarge said:
There is no problem here.. She's just saying that she misses you.. Which is awesome because that demonstrates to you that you are on her mind a lot, which is also awesome because it demonstrates high interest level. Although with you asking her out, that may develop further complexities.. Such as

"I work til 1:45 then have a short break, then work again 3:30 to 6. I'm supposed to meet up with *friend* and some friends after, if that falls through I will let you know"

This can easily be interpreted as "Yeah I'll call you if I have nothing better to do" but it's totally not like that. It's probably more like she has plans, and would like to see you.. but it was kind of last minute so she'll hangout with you if her other plans fall through cause she misses you.

If you have another date scheduled, then just wait until that. Don't over-analyze it all.

Alex is right. You're probably "pissed" because she rejected you. Relax and move on with your day.
 

Jariel

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She just wanted to keep in touch that's all. But had already made plans so couldn't meet, or maybe she just wants to hold off meeting you to save things from getting too heavy.

Nothing wrong here except your reaction. You need to be careful if such trivial and harmless matters are getting to you like this. Be cool man.
 

Alex DeLarge

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exile663dfx said:
Alex is right. You're probably "pissed" because she rejected you. Relax and move on with your day.
That's not really what I was saying at all. She didn't reject him. She just had plans so she couldn't go out with him. Not a big deal at all, in fact.. I'd hope the person I was dating had a life of their own.

If I had plans to go to a concert with my buddies on a friday night and a girl hit me up that day asking if I want to go to a movie around the same time of the concert, I'd tell her "I'm going to a concert with my buddies tonight, but if something comes up I'll give you a call"

What i said in my prior post, is that it's easy to misinterpret things like that as interest level dropping when it's not at all. The person just had plans. Thats why face to face communication > texting. Or even talking on the phone is better.
 
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