This poll is the contrapositive to my other poll about the outcome of you saying it first, but what happened when SHE said the 'L' word first? Did she really mean it in the end?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
What was the Outcome when SHE said the 'L' Word First?
- Thread starter bigneil
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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As I said in your other thread, I have always recommended letting the girl say it first. I figured this gives you the frame, and indicates high interest on the girl's part.
However, after reading the results of your poll, and thinking about my own experiences, I don't really think it makes any difference after all. The frame is something that you maintain on your own, it isn't really dependent on her. And if you're at the point where you're going to bring up the L word, you should have already determined that her interest is very high anyway.
That said, at this point in my life I would still let her say it.
However, after reading the results of your poll, and thinking about my own experiences, I don't really think it makes any difference after all. The frame is something that you maintain on your own, it isn't really dependent on her. And if you're at the point where you're going to bring up the L word, you should have already determined that her interest is very high anyway.
That said, at this point in my life I would still let her say it.