sebastian11
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2010
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ive been with my gf for a few months now and she keeps saying that she thinks im using her, what should i tell her to make these thoughts go away?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This ^^Ease said:Agree and amplify
This is terrible advice. Nobody likes a puzzy who cant throw her sh!t back at her.2-D said:Why would you ever agree to that? Seriously?
Like honestly, if you don't want her to break up with you, don't tell her you're using her, "agree and amplify" my ass. If she doesn't take it as 100% a joke she will be all upset and stressy at you.
Tell her you truly like her for who she is, but that she DOES have a sweet ass![]()
OH NO ! You mean if I'm not an agreeable yes man.. she.. she could be upset or possibly even leave me? But where would I find another immature chick who didnt have a sense of humour?2-D said:If she doesn't take it as 100% a joke she will be all upset and stressy at you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Haha. "Are you using me for sex?" "Are you using me for commitment?"horaholic said:Tell her you think she is just using you for someone to share her feelings with, and feel wanted and loved by.
Have you ever actually said to a girl you're using her for sex when she asked? I did that once because I listened to David DeAngelo for too long and the girl was really upset. If she's actually serious and does think that, then these witty remarks are just going to cause more trouble than good. I promise. Go try it out in real life if you think that'd work.( . )( . ) said:This is terrible advice. Nobody likes a puzzy who cant throw her sh!t back at her.
OH NO ! You mean if I'm not an agreeable yes man.. she.. she could be upset or possibly even leave me? But where would I find another immature chick who didnt have a sense of humour?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
This.WhitePimp said:Just flip it back around, like she's just using your hot bod as a sex toy, etc. Turn it into a game, make her feel like she's asking a dumb question, and laugh it off.
i think this man is lost, somebody please direct him to the cosmopolitan website!2-D said:Why would you ever agree to that? Seriously?
Like honestly, if you don't want her to break up with you, don't tell her you're using her, "agree and amplify" my ass. If she doesn't take it as 100% a joke she will be all upset and stressy at you.
Tell her you truly like her for who she is, but that she DOES have a sweet ass
From COD's list, you could use 2 if she isn't serious (only if she isn't serious) or 6 but funnier
I think you're being an armchair theorist. I've done similar stuff in real life (tried using ****y/witty replies to this sort of thing), I'm speaking from true experience. Feel free to go tell your girlfriend you're using her though... And then you'll know what happens. Tell me honestly when you've ever done that in real life. If you or any of the others have actually done this in real life and she didn't get all pissy, then it's a personal issue with me not delivering it right. But as far as my experience goes, that is a big no no.Ease said:i think this man is lost, somebody please direct him to the cosmopolitan website!
HahahahWar Against Betaism said:"You're right, now make me a sandwich."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.