What to do?

[xenten]

Hey. I'm having trouble right now. You may have seen my other posts, but here is an update. I was with a girl for 1.5 years and she wanted a break in January. We got back together in February for 3 days and I broke it off. In that time I have been dating a girl for 1.5 months and we click. Me and the first girl got back together last Tuesday and I thought I made a mistake; so I ended it last Friday. Now I can't stop thinking about her. I broke it off with her the first time because she has major family problems and bipolar disorder; also she's very plump. I feel like I can talk about anything with her. I'm not so sure I want to go back to her but I feel like I do. But I don't want to get rid of the other girl I have been dating. No matter which girl I am with I think of the other one when we are together; if that makes since. This is just a really confusing situation I am in that I want to be out of without doubting my decision. Any help?

 

[Mavrick]

Your mind is messing with you. Instead of letting it control you with confusing thoughts, why don't you control it? Tell your mind what you want without indecisiveness.

The women of the past are just what they are. The past. There was a good reason why you dumped her and you really shouldn't bring her back in to your life. Stop living in the past because I can promise you that it will never be the same.

The grass is NOT greener on the other side. Stick with what you have, but back off some. You act like you have to have a woman in your life, which is not the case. Have some dignity and respect for yourself and cut the old, plump chick off. Move forward. Don't look back.

 

[xenten]

Thanks Maverick. I do feel like I need some woman in my life, subconsciously. And I know that needs to be put to a stop. Everything is better with the new girl, I just need to control my mind. I appreciate it.

 

[SunnyD]

I'm glad this came up because something was said to me tonight about this behavior and I didn't want to start a whole new thread.

I asked an ex (yes THAT one...groan) just to explain what goes through his mind and why he does this to all these girls, it was quite a civil talk actually..and I told him I just wanted a male perspective so I could stop hating him so much and maybe just realize its a guy thing and not so much a HIM thing. And his response was:

"haha well i cant say for all guys but the grass is always greener on the other side. I dont know ... i guess i am just never happy with what i got and then once its gone you miss it. Thats how it goes i guess. I dont know why i dont want to date anyone. I guess i just dont want to get into something and then regret it."

I asked what he was referring to in terms of "once its gone, you miss it" and he said "lots of things, you included..." and realize that he will always be the type to want what he can't have, once he has it, doesn't want it, once its gone he does. I was going to ask this board if ALL guys are just like this...so I can just accept that its not ME...but meh...

Anyway, that's your problem my dear. You don't want her when you have her, you do when you don't. Let it go.

 

[Entropy4]

Be single. You have no business starting or restarting a relationship right now.