Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

What to do with the family members

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
260
Reaction score
72
If you have read past threads, I've had toxic family members and I have got bullied and abused.

The tables have turned now and I am moving out and moving out to a good area too. Renting on my own income. They thought they could play the ostracising, manipulating game, but they cannot ignore things now.

They're not really willing to listen to me and dismiss everything.

I'm having a tough home life and my father and sister do not wish to listen, nor do they say anything. I can have my own life and do things just like everyone else is suppose to? I'm a man now, does they want to listen? What happens if someone challenges them and says 'but your son/brother' said he is doing this, that, 'why are you reacting negative' say nothing. Maybe I should forget about my sister.

They don't listen, my father's needs, financial needs which I give money every week I catered for. What's he acting timid for to others?

My sister again, I am moving out and approaching women, online, she doesn't say the right things to others.

Online comp sci degree: dismiss that even with proof

First time I said:

Moving out: say where I get money from and dismiss that even with proof, I told everyone and will move out
Going abroad in few months: again they dismiss that
Income: dismiss that

They think I have no income, I'm nothing.

So they have no respect for me and playing me around. I'm afraid they call the authorities with everything, what's their problem, only do it to me.

I do not need her approval, but who is she to play with my life? Get angry when I say I'm moving out, doing this?
 
Last edited:

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
1,349
Reaction score
1,685
Age
43
Check out Joshua Fluke's channel on youtube. He does quite a few videos on how his family was using him for money then lying to him and using the money for drugs and stupid sh!t instead of trying to get their lives back on track. They would only be nice to him when they wanted something from him.

Things are likely going to change when you start to really make money and have a fun life. But if they can't be supportive of you, fvck em. You're entitled to disown your family if they're garbage people.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,034
Reaction score
995
Age
47
Actions speak louder than words.

Stop looking to your family for approval and support.

Make your self a list of what you have to do to be happy with where you are for yourself.

If you are truly a self sufficient adult with an income source and place to live, go do it. If they have a conservatorship on you because of some developmental, mental or physical issues then that is a different story...
 

PowerQuest

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2019
Messages
736
Reaction score
621
Location
Denmark
Stop looking to your family for approval and support.
I agree. The worst thing you can do is doing the long ever holy quest for your parents to one day say:
Son I'm proud of you.

F'uck that.
It only leads to misery and self sabotage and loss of years of your life doing it. (Example: You start doing thing you don't really want for the approval of your dad/mom etc.)

All you need is that you are proud of yourself and you life choices.
That is all what matters.

Yet for some reason we tend to chase this meaningless approval for no reason.
 
Last edited:

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

Modern Man Advice

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
486
Reaction score
637
Location
Bend, OR
If you have read past threads, I've had toxic family members and I have got bullied and abused.

The tables have turned now and I am moving out and moving out to a good area too. Renting on my own income. They thought they could play the ostracising, manipulating game, but they cannot ignore things now.

They're not really willing to listen to me and dismiss everything.

I'm having a tough home life and my father and sister do not wish to listen, nor do they say anything. I can have my own life and do things just like everyone else is suppose to? I'm a man now, does they want to listen? What happens if someone challenges them and says 'but your son/brother' said he is doing this, that, 'why are you reacting negative' say nothing. Maybe I should forget about my sister.

They don't listen, my father's needs, financial needs which I give money every week I catered for. What's he acting timid for to others?

My sister again, I am moving out and approaching women, online, she doesn't say the right things to others.

Online comp sci degree: dismiss that even with proof

First time I said:

Moving out: say where I get money from and dismiss that even with proof, I told everyone and will move out
Going abroad in few months: again they dismiss that
Income: dismiss that

They think I have no income, I'm nothing.

So they have no respect for me and playing me around. I'm afraid they call the authorities with everything, what's their problem, only do it to me.

I do not need her approval, but who is she to play with my life? Get angry when I say I'm moving out, doing this?
First off, proud of you man.

Second, you made the right move by moving out. One of the hardest things I've had to do is cut ties with people that do not contribute anything of value to my life or even worse devalue it. This includes family members. And know it is okay to do that.

Third, you live your life. No one is going to live your life for you, that was given to you and you alone. That is your path, walk it.

Use this time to build yourself up and do things that make YOU happy.

Last but not least, simply cut contact with them for a while.


Modern Man Advice
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
5,036
Reaction score
1,544
If you have read past threads, I've had toxic family members and I have got bullied and abused.

The tables have turned now and I am moving out and moving out to a good area too. Renting on my own income. They thought they could play the ostracising, manipulating game, but they cannot ignore things now.

They're not really willing to listen to me and dismiss everything.

I'm having a tough home life and my father and sister do not wish to listen, nor do they say anything. I can have my own life and do things just like everyone else is suppose to? I'm a man now, does they want to listen? What happens if someone challenges them and says 'but your son/brother' said he is doing this, that, 'why are you reacting negative' say nothing. Maybe I should forget about my sister.

They don't listen, my father's needs, financial needs which I give money every week I catered for. What's he acting timid for to others?

My sister again, I am moving out and approaching women, online, she doesn't say the right things to others.

Online comp sci degree: dismiss that even with proof

First time I said:

Moving out: say where I get money from and dismiss that even with proof, I told everyone and will move out
Going abroad in few months: again they dismiss that
Income: dismiss that

They think I have no income, I'm nothing.

So they have no respect for me and playing me around. I'm afraid they call the authorities with everything, what's their problem, only do it to me.

I do not need her approval, but who is she to play with my life? Get angry when I say I'm moving out, doing this?
Why would they call the authorities on you? You didn't do anything wrong.

Are you able to move out sooner than you plan to?
 

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
260
Reaction score
72
Thanks guys.

No one deserves to be treated like this.

They deliberately play games, ostracise, act sly, manipulative.

They're do not wish to listen.

However I am moving out in a few weeks.

Also in the community too they are ignoring any fine details and anything positive and just wish to play games.

I'm being silenced and undermined.
 
Last edited:

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
260
Reaction score
72
I'm a man now, 31, I can move out if i wish and have my own life.

They are clever ostracising.

They are trying to silence and manipulate me and others about me.
 

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
260
Reaction score
72
If you have read past threads, I've had toxic family members and I have got bullied and abused.

The tables have turned now and I am moving out and moving out to a good area too. Renting on my own income. They thought they could play the ostracising, manipulating game, but they cannot ignore things now.

They're not really willing to listen to me and dismiss everything.

I'm having a tough home life and my father and sister do not wish to listen, nor do they say anything. I can have my own life and do things just like everyone else is suppose to? I'm a man now, does they want to listen? What happens if someone challenges them and says 'but your son/brother' said he is doing this, that, 'why are you reacting negative' say nothing. Maybe I should forget about my sister.

They don't listen, my father's needs, financial needs which I give money every week I catered for. What's he acting timid for to others?

My sister again, I am moving out and approaching women, online, she doesn't say the right things to others.

Online comp sci degree: dismiss that even with proof

First time I said:

Moving out: say where I get money from and dismiss that even with proof, I told everyone and will move out
Going abroad in few months: again they dismiss that
Income: dismiss that

They think I have no income, I'm nothing.

So they have no respect for me and playing me around. I'm afraid they call the authorities with everything, what's their problem, only do it to me.

I do not need her approval, but who is she to play with my life? Get angry when I say I'm moving out, doing this?
I'm moving out within 3 weeks.

I do not know if my sister just lives to please others and she is a narcissist.

This is about my father and sister too and they do not listen to me, my income as well as earning income on the side.

If I want to live in a hotel for one day or go abroad, like my sister can, I can.

I already said I'm doing OLD and seeking for somone abroad, they did not listen and putting me in a circus where all they have to do is tell others and someone asked me for proof and my qualifications, wth-I do not owe anyone or need to be dicated by anyone.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
2,995
Reaction score
1,256
Age
37
I'm moving out within 3 weeks.

I do not know if my sister just lives to please others and she is a narcissist.

This is about my father and sister too and they do not listen to me, my income as well as earning income on the side.

If I want to live in a hotel for one day or go abroad, like my sister can, I can.

I already said I'm doing OLD and seeking for somone abroad, they did not listen and putting me in a circus where all they have to do is tell others and someone asked me for proof and my qualifications, wth-I do not owe anyone or need to be dicated by anyone.
don't matter if they listen or not, stop talking at all, why waste time on people who don't listen?, also don't share your adress, cut the monetary help and disapear, if they call say you are busy and turn it off.

main issue you still care, you need to stop caring, then you will feel free, also try not to be upfront with info about you to then and anyone close to then
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,618
Reaction score
4,613
Age
45
Location
Colorado Panhandle
It sucks bc it's your family and they're supposed to support you, but that's not happening so you don't owe them any explanations. They can get on board or get bent.

I would just keep my plans to myself. They are going to judge and criticize anyway, so it's a waste of breath explaining it to them. This is kind of like "frame" with women - once you start justifying your decisions to toxic people, you've entered their frame. Better to keep it to yourself and move out with a shyt eating grin on your face. You're going to have a fun life and they'll stay miserable.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

Stephen89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
260
Reaction score
72
Thanks guys I really appreciate it.

They are trying to overpower, control and bully.

The problem is why dont my father and sister say anything like no to them.

They undermine and condense when its the opposite.

They wish to jeopardize and control the relatives.

They just say negative things when I am moving ahead.

Very solid suggestions here so thank you very much all.
 

Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2012
Messages
6,974
Reaction score
5,166
Get rid of toxic people regardless who they are.

I cut out most of my family and my life has been much better, sometime I wonder what a winner I could have been already as a kid if I wasnt forced to have them around and be dependant from them back then.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,489
Reaction score
11,718
Location
DFW, TX
Why would they call the authorities on you? You didn't do anything wrong.

Are you able to move out sooner than you plan to?
It's similar to a threat of violence. It's done to back you up a little bit, to inject fear, uncertainty and doubt. To get you to second guess yourself. To slow you down. You don't have to do anything.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,489
Reaction score
11,718
Location
DFW, TX
Actions speak louder than words.

Stop looking to your family for approval and support.

Make your self a list of what you have to do to be happy with where you are for yourself.

If you are truly a self sufficient adult with an income source and place to live, go do it. If they have a conservatorship on you because of some developmental, mental or physical issues then that is a different story...
When family does these things to "shut you down", I agree and even they know and don't understand why you still listen to them or care what they think. Perhaps it's all done to make you to fly on your own and be accountable for yourself.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,489
Reaction score
11,718
Location
DFW, TX
First off, proud of you man.

Second, you made the right move by moving out. One of the hardest things I've had to do is cut ties with people that do not contribute anything of value to my life or even worse devalue it. This includes family members. And know it is okay to do that.

Third, you live your life. No one is going to live your life for you, that was given to you and you alone. That is your path, walk it.

Use this time to build yourself up and do things that make YOU happy.

Last but not least, simply cut contact with them for a while.


Modern Man Advice
It's at that point of personal responsibility that your growth can occur more unimpeded. It's a part of taking care of ourselves, our lives.
 
Top