What to do when you're getting bored with her?

[Sniper2k]

Hello. I'm an 18 yr old male, my girlfriend is 17. We've been a couple for a few weeks. I do like her, but I feel that the fire is fading. I hold back my feelings from her because I'm afraid of rejection and being vulnerable. I would like to start having deep, meaningful conversations with my girlfriend, but I don't want to lose the laidback, relaxed convo, which we are lacking now. We could talk on the phone for hours, but usually I'm very bored and don't pay much attention, I just keep the conversation rolling in hopes we'll jump on something interesting. I want to find out more things about her, like her dreams, fears, goals, etc., but I feel awkward and shy about doing so. My stuggles with shyness and depression are preventing me from having the great relationship I know I am capable with her. Any advice on how to grow closer through the communication? Thanks

 

[Engetsu]

Just ask. Pretend she is a guy.

 

[Hot Ice]

What's your problem bro?

You want to know more about her...
Then say "I want know more about you." and add the first question you wanna ask. Then make it a convo and try to keep it on her.

Come on! You knew this before asking.
You can't make US do the simple basic stuff for you.

Just do it and stop wondering. It's not that hard!!!


EDIT:
And you joined here December 2002.
Sheesh! Take some Action and stop acting like a damn pússy!!
Otherwise I'm gonna come over there and stick my D!ck deep into her ass and make her love it.
I've spoken.

 

[noseguard20]

Ask someone that is 21 years old to buy you a bottle of Vendange Merlot. Its a red wine. Drink slowly and drink enough until you feel relaxed and you feel happy. Then call her up and say what you want to say. It will come out so smoothly, you won't believe it. Don't tell her you've been drinking.No hard liquor, make sure its red wine, Its like a love potion!!

 

[2xp]

all of your damn tips are all pointless. drink wine ? talk more ? grow closer ? come on, you are trying too much.

if you are bored, that's because you talk too much. IT IS PRETTY DAMN NATURAL REACTION. all of your body is screaming "i don't want to talk anymore, i need action". i am ready to bet that she is is beginning to be bored too and that she will see elsewhere.

are you trying to have a friend or a girlfriend ? why do spend hours on the phone ? what's that sh*tty idea about finding her fears and goals and so on ? what kind of a program is that ? man, you are 18, and it looks like you want to get married. or that you want to be her psychanalyst, or play AFC.

advice : GO OUT. just go to her house and go bowling. or play pool. or visit the city by roller. or go to a local acting club. or anything cool like hang out and trying that new snack bar. it's fun. it's cool. she will love you for that. you will loose that tension. and you two will then talk open-hearted. BUT THESE THINGS MUST COME NATURALLY. YOU ARE TRYING TO FORCE THINGS

 

[Hot Ice]

Haha! I think 2xp has some point here.

 

[JohnJones]

I understand the fear of rejection, etc., but if she is into you she wants to be close to you and more deeply involved (you have to evaluate that "if").

The thing she doesn't want is for you to be wishy washy or uncomfortable with your feelings or yourself. Neither do you, I take from your post. Being close to her (which she regards as her reward) is not the medicine that will fix what you regard as your negative feelings.

They are separate tracks. You can get close to her naturally, by talking or otherwise, but you may not feel it if you are not sure of yourself (not the result -- you can't be certain of the result, you can only be certain of who you are and what you are capable of. Once you decide that you can handle anything, rejection or otherwise, I think these issues will go away).

But if you are just bored, then spice it up, which is your job as much as hers. She wants you to take charge, and so do you.

 

[FratAndDiddy]

really, take the bull by the horns and lay off that phone so much. use your phone wisely.

 

[noseguard20]

Originally posted by 2xp
all of your damn tips are all pointless. drink wine ? talk more ? grow closer ? come on, you are trying too much.

if you are bored, that's because you talk too much. IT IS PRETTY DAMN NATURAL REACTION. all of your body is screaming "i don't want to talk anymore, i need action". i am ready to bet that she is is beginning to be bored too and that she will see elsewhere.

are you trying to have a friend or a girlfriend ? why do spend hours on the phone ? what's that sh*tty idea about finding her fears and goals and so on ? what kind of a program is that ? man, you are 18, and it looks like you want to get married. or that you want to be her psychanalyst, or play AFC.

advice : GO OUT. just go to her house and go bowling. or play pool. or visit the city by roller. or go to a local acting club. or anything cool like hang out and trying that new snack bar. it's fun. it's cool. she will love you for that. you will loose that tension. and you two will then talk open-hearted. BUT THESE THINGS MUST COME NATURALLY. YOU ARE TRYING TO FORCE THINGS

Good point, i agree!!