"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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What to do when there's no real plan?

wrender

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Got a date with an HB8 tonight. I met this one at a mutual friends house a few weeks back. We hit it off pretty good. Strong eye contact, good conversation, and a number close (not asking but telling her I'd like to call her :) ). The only thing I negleceted was kino.

Saw her a 2nd time last Friday since I invited her to a small Labor day party I hosted at my home. I didn't get to give her a whole lot of attention since there were many others there to entertain as well. But this is probably a good thing since I didn't want to be clingy. but I did slip in some kino this time.

So anyway, I called her a couple days after the party and told her I'd like to come out to her place Wednesday night and she happily agreed. I'm a bit nervous though because I don't have a gameplan for the evening. I'm not familiar with the town she lives in so I don't know where to take her or what to do with her. I just said I'd come out there and be spontaneous. So it looks like I'm going to have to put her in partial control of the evening due to the fact that she knows where to go and I obviously do not. Not the ideal situation so I might do some research and suggest that we try a particular place. I'm sure we'll start off by hanging out at her apartment for a while talking, but I don't want that to grow stale.

Incidentally, she lives in Bridgeport (Chicago). So maybe whitesoxbill will read this and offer some suggestions.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Vulpine

Master Don Juan
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whitesoxbill is from Wisconsin. We don't like FISH/FIB's/Flatlanders round these parts.

Go for a walk. It's called "playing it by ear". If you see something you want to do, do it. Meanwhile, enjoy the walk and enjoy the company. Your mission is the walk and the woman, not "to do something".
 

wrender

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whitesoxbill is from Wisconsin. We don't like FISH/FIB's/Flatlanders round these parts.
Whoops. I guess the name threw me off.

Yeah, I hear ya. I have this annoying part of me that feels a bit helpless with out a gameplan. Must be an AFC remnant instilled by my mother and grandmother that says I should take a woman on a nice "date".
 

squirrels

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Go out for coffee, talk about sh!t. If something pops up, do that.

Otherwise...hell, just do what YOU think would be fun to do and invite her to come along and share in the fun.

The idea of a date is not to "impress" her by selecting something that'd be fun for her. It's to show her the fun times that your life generates. Bring her into YOUR frame.
 
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