"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

What to do when someone is "too cool for school?"

orthanc

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Hi all,

In the past few weeks I've started speaking to a girl who, as I put it, is "too cool for school." We share the exact same interests, sense of humor, etc. I have more fun talking to her than pretty much anyone I know. In that sense she's amazing. the problem is that I have almost no physical attraction to her whatsoever. While she is by no means the ugliest girl I know, I simply don't find her incredibly attractive. Platitudes about relationships and attraction aside, I really don't know if I want to consider her a gf or just a really cool friend.

She's a sophomore next year; I'm going to be a senior. In normal situations that might not be a big deal (besides the age difference bringing endless ridicule.) However, since I attend a boarding school, it complicates matters greatly.

I know that she's into me -- she's made that obvious -- but I'm not sure what I want to do. On the one hand she's really an awesome person, but if I do go out w/ her I feel as if I'm stuck. In light of senior year coming up, I don't want to be tied down. I've progressed from being incredibly AFC at the beginning of the year to somewhere in the middle now. There are a few girls who I've always wanted to hang out with with who have shown interest, but this term I've had almost no time to do anything besides work.

I also don't want to just ignore the issue because it would eventually have to be dealt with anyway. I also don't want to put her in a situation where I build up so much tension and then just shoot her down, bc regardless of whether or not I go out with her it would suck to not be able to be a friend.

On a side note: I have been gaming right (I think): pushing/pulling, negging, cf, etc. It's been enormously fun, too.

PS: Don't say bother posting if all you have to say is that I'm being AFC and that I should just objectify her and either fvck or forget her.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

orthanc

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
This post went unanswered when I first posted it just after the school year ended, but I thought I'd bump it now before going back to school to see if I got any replies. The situation basically hasn't changed too much: I've been talking to this girl through IM sporadically over the course of the summer. It's gotten a bit duller since we've kinda covered everything except whats going on in the here-and-now, and since I'm only on IM when I'm bored I tend to ramble a bit. Eh...that's how life goes.
 

Scars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
2,126
Reaction score
1,002
Age
36
Location
Phoenix
I don't recommend dating young girls that are iffy/even remotely ugly. The fact that she is young, people will give you ****.. but if she isnt even that hott people are gonna give you more ****. For me to consider going for a younger chick she is going to have to be smoking hott.

I say keep her as a friend. It's not fair to her or yourself to try and persue a relationship if your heart isnt fully into it.. find a girl you are actually attracted to.
 

smooth guy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
306
Reaction score
3
Why do you bother so much with this girl if you aren't interested in her?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

kdnash82

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2006
Messages
530
Reaction score
8
Location
A land near you
I had the same mind frame when I was younger. My sister was two grades behind me. Her friends would always have crushes on me, and I would always shoot them down because they were too young. My sister is now 23 and I'm 25. Now when I go home, I'm always asking her to invite her friends out so I can hit on them.

My point is, that those same girls that you thought were too young at some point are gonna get older and are gonna start looking a lot better to you. Physical attraction is something that can be overlooked. I've gone out with girls that weren't the best lookers, but had a personality out of this world. We would just get along so well together that it was stupid for us not to date. The down side is that if things don't work out, then you might run the risk of losing a good friend. Choose wisely.
 
Top