"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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What to do when someone is "too cool for school?"

orthanc

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Hi all,

In the past few weeks I've started speaking to a girl who, as I put it, is "too cool for school." We share the exact same interests, sense of humor, etc. I have more fun talking to her than pretty much anyone I know. In that sense she's amazing. the problem is that I have almost no physical attraction to her whatsoever. While she is by no means the ugliest girl I know, I simply don't find her incredibly attractive. Platitudes about relationships and attraction aside, I really don't know if I want to consider her a gf or just a really cool friend.

She's a sophomore next year; I'm going to be a senior. In normal situations that might not be a big deal (besides the age difference bringing endless ridicule.) However, since I attend a boarding school, it complicates matters greatly.

I know that she's into me -- she's made that obvious -- but I'm not sure what I want to do. On the one hand she's really an awesome person, but if I do go out w/ her I feel as if I'm stuck. In light of senior year coming up, I don't want to be tied down. I've progressed from being incredibly AFC at the beginning of the year to somewhere in the middle now. There are a few girls who I've always wanted to hang out with with who have shown interest, but this term I've had almost no time to do anything besides work.

I also don't want to just ignore the issue because it would eventually have to be dealt with anyway. I also don't want to put her in a situation where I build up so much tension and then just shoot her down, bc regardless of whether or not I go out with her it would suck to not be able to be a friend.

On a side note: I have been gaming right (I think): pushing/pulling, negging, cf, etc. It's been enormously fun, too.

PS: Don't say bother posting if all you have to say is that I'm being AFC and that I should just objectify her and either fvck or forget her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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orthanc

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This post went unanswered when I first posted it just after the school year ended, but I thought I'd bump it now before going back to school to see if I got any replies. The situation basically hasn't changed too much: I've been talking to this girl through IM sporadically over the course of the summer. It's gotten a bit duller since we've kinda covered everything except whats going on in the here-and-now, and since I'm only on IM when I'm bored I tend to ramble a bit. Eh...that's how life goes.
 

Scars

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I don't recommend dating young girls that are iffy/even remotely ugly. The fact that she is young, people will give you ****.. but if she isnt even that hott people are gonna give you more ****. For me to consider going for a younger chick she is going to have to be smoking hott.

I say keep her as a friend. It's not fair to her or yourself to try and persue a relationship if your heart isnt fully into it.. find a girl you are actually attracted to.
 

smooth guy

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Why do you bother so much with this girl if you aren't interested in her?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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kdnash82

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I had the same mind frame when I was younger. My sister was two grades behind me. Her friends would always have crushes on me, and I would always shoot them down because they were too young. My sister is now 23 and I'm 25. Now when I go home, I'm always asking her to invite her friends out so I can hit on them.

My point is, that those same girls that you thought were too young at some point are gonna get older and are gonna start looking a lot better to you. Physical attraction is something that can be overlooked. I've gone out with girls that weren't the best lookers, but had a personality out of this world. We would just get along so well together that it was stupid for us not to date. The down side is that if things don't work out, then you might run the risk of losing a good friend. Choose wisely.
 
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