So me and this chick are supposed to be chilling this week. Contacted her and asked her when she's free to hang, and she said that while she has projects to do this week she's sure we'll get together. What's up with that? Should I just pick a time and tell her when we'll meet?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
What to do when a girl won't tell you when she's available?
- Thread starter Scion
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Nexus Polaris
Senior Don Juan
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Tell her she's got to be more specific than that. Then tell her when you're free (don't be free all week) and say, "What's good for you?"
yeah that's what I did do. Told her which days this week where my schedule was flexible enough to meet and that's when she told me that she had some projects to finish but was sure that we'll get together.Nexus Polaris said:Tell her she's got to be more specific than that. Then tell her when you're free (don't be free all week) and say, "What's good for you?"
if you think it's stupid then why bother reading it or comment on it. Maybe I'd like to ask a simple question relevant to something I'm currently dealing with than to read hours of material hoping it will answer my simple question.f283000 said:Scion you really need to read the dj bible and stop making this stupid threads.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Nexus Polaris
Senior Don Juan
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"Hey, how about we just do this another week? You seem really busy, and I don't really want to wait around if you can't give me a firm commitment on a day. I'd rather just do it another time."Scion said:yeah that's what I did do. Told her which days this week where my schedule was flexible enough to meet and that's when she told me that she had some projects to finish but was sure that we'll get together.
And then hang up the phone and call the next girl on your list. Make plans with her. That's how I'd handle it anyway.
Either she calls you back with a committed date or you don't hear from her again and you go out with the next girl. Either way, you win.
thecurtainfalls
Senior Don Juan
Have you clicked on the link in Igetit!'s sig?
you mean his no contact thing? Yes I've read it. But would it be the best move here? She wants to meet up and seems to think she'll find the time but just won't commit to it. Mind you I havent pushed her to commit to a time yet. Anyway, the question was more if I should take more control and tell her when we're hanging rather than waiting for her to tell me when she can hang.thecurtainfalls said:Have you clicked on the link in Igetit!'s sig?
Mr. Non-Juan
Don Juan
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Hi! I'm Non Juan - I give insights to guys on why the things they're doing to try and get women... are actually making them LOSE them instead!
In your case, she may actually BE interested, but making her be the decision-maker in when you hang out (i.e. giving her an open-ended "whenever YOU want to hang out" comment) actually makes your chances of getting together with her DECREASE.
Why?
(a) By asking her to make the decision, you're practically giving her the pants to wear in the relationship! No, you're not in a serious relationship with her, but this is how it starts - all those whipped husbands you hear about started the same way!
(b) You haven't given her any idea of what you'll do if she DOES pick a day. She'll be all like, "okay, let's go out Tuesday," and you'll be like, "Great!..." followed by "...so, what do you want to do?" And she'll be thinking: "Oh great, first I had to pick the day, NOW I have to pick the activity too?!? Can't this guy make a decision??"
My suggestion? Find something you'd like to do, then ask her if she wants to go. If yes, hooray! If not, find someone else. Pretty simple stuff there, guy!
Oh yeah - for more of these wonderful tips, click on the link in my signature!
-Non Juan
In your case, she may actually BE interested, but making her be the decision-maker in when you hang out (i.e. giving her an open-ended "whenever YOU want to hang out" comment) actually makes your chances of getting together with her DECREASE.
Why?
(a) By asking her to make the decision, you're practically giving her the pants to wear in the relationship! No, you're not in a serious relationship with her, but this is how it starts - all those whipped husbands you hear about started the same way!
(b) You haven't given her any idea of what you'll do if she DOES pick a day. She'll be all like, "okay, let's go out Tuesday," and you'll be like, "Great!..." followed by "...so, what do you want to do?" And she'll be thinking: "Oh great, first I had to pick the day, NOW I have to pick the activity too?!? Can't this guy make a decision??"
My suggestion? Find something you'd like to do, then ask her if she wants to go. If yes, hooray! If not, find someone else. Pretty simple stuff there, guy!
Oh yeah - for more of these wonderful tips, click on the link in my signature!
-Non Juan