So me and this chick are supposed to be chilling this week. Contacted her and asked her when she's free to hang, and she said that while she has projects to do this week she's sure we'll get together. What's up with that? Should I just pick a time and tell her when we'll meet?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What to do when a girl won't tell you when she's available?
- Thread starter Scion
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Nexus Polaris
Senior Don Juan
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Tell her she's got to be more specific than that. Then tell her when you're free (don't be free all week) and say, "What's good for you?"
yeah that's what I did do. Told her which days this week where my schedule was flexible enough to meet and that's when she told me that she had some projects to finish but was sure that we'll get together.Nexus Polaris said:Tell her she's got to be more specific than that. Then tell her when you're free (don't be free all week) and say, "What's good for you?"
if you think it's stupid then why bother reading it or comment on it. Maybe I'd like to ask a simple question relevant to something I'm currently dealing with than to read hours of material hoping it will answer my simple question.f283000 said:Scion you really need to read the dj bible and stop making this stupid threads.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Nexus Polaris
Senior Don Juan
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"Hey, how about we just do this another week? You seem really busy, and I don't really want to wait around if you can't give me a firm commitment on a day. I'd rather just do it another time."Scion said:yeah that's what I did do. Told her which days this week where my schedule was flexible enough to meet and that's when she told me that she had some projects to finish but was sure that we'll get together.
And then hang up the phone and call the next girl on your list. Make plans with her. That's how I'd handle it anyway.
Either she calls you back with a committed date or you don't hear from her again and you go out with the next girl. Either way, you win.
thecurtainfalls
Senior Don Juan
Have you clicked on the link in Igetit!'s sig?
you mean his no contact thing? Yes I've read it. But would it be the best move here? She wants to meet up and seems to think she'll find the time but just won't commit to it. Mind you I havent pushed her to commit to a time yet. Anyway, the question was more if I should take more control and tell her when we're hanging rather than waiting for her to tell me when she can hang.thecurtainfalls said:Have you clicked on the link in Igetit!'s sig?
Mr. Non-Juan
Don Juan
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Hi! I'm Non Juan - I give insights to guys on why the things they're doing to try and get women... are actually making them LOSE them instead!
In your case, she may actually BE interested, but making her be the decision-maker in when you hang out (i.e. giving her an open-ended "whenever YOU want to hang out" comment) actually makes your chances of getting together with her DECREASE.
Why?
(a) By asking her to make the decision, you're practically giving her the pants to wear in the relationship! No, you're not in a serious relationship with her, but this is how it starts - all those whipped husbands you hear about started the same way!
(b) You haven't given her any idea of what you'll do if she DOES pick a day. She'll be all like, "okay, let's go out Tuesday," and you'll be like, "Great!..." followed by "...so, what do you want to do?" And she'll be thinking: "Oh great, first I had to pick the day, NOW I have to pick the activity too?!? Can't this guy make a decision??"
My suggestion? Find something you'd like to do, then ask her if she wants to go. If yes, hooray! If not, find someone else. Pretty simple stuff there, guy!
Oh yeah - for more of these wonderful tips, click on the link in my signature!
-Non Juan
In your case, she may actually BE interested, but making her be the decision-maker in when you hang out (i.e. giving her an open-ended "whenever YOU want to hang out" comment) actually makes your chances of getting together with her DECREASE.
Why?
(a) By asking her to make the decision, you're practically giving her the pants to wear in the relationship! No, you're not in a serious relationship with her, but this is how it starts - all those whipped husbands you hear about started the same way!
(b) You haven't given her any idea of what you'll do if she DOES pick a day. She'll be all like, "okay, let's go out Tuesday," and you'll be like, "Great!..." followed by "...so, what do you want to do?" And she'll be thinking: "Oh great, first I had to pick the day, NOW I have to pick the activity too?!? Can't this guy make a decision??"
My suggestion? Find something you'd like to do, then ask her if she wants to go. If yes, hooray! If not, find someone else. Pretty simple stuff there, guy!
Oh yeah - for more of these wonderful tips, click on the link in my signature!
-Non Juan