"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What to do in this situation

F

Fluid

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I am in a situation and have no idea what to do and am confident that the experience and wealth of knowledge on these forums will be much better than what I do. So here is the situation:

There is a new girl I met from one of my best friends. After chilling with her along with some other friends, I find I am falling for her. She is however going out in an unofficial relationship with my best friend. I talked to him and he said he doesn't care if I take her away from her. The problem is that she is in love with my best friend. She always says she wants him and even asks our group of friends individually what my best friend thinks of her.

She's been giving me a lot of ioi's, heavy kino with her is easy to do, but she is a very nice girl and gives alotta iois to our entire group of friends. I want to be with her and have no idea how to bring up my feelings about her. I want to tell her, but I know she is deep into my best friend, altho she continously flirts with me..

Ne ideas on how to approach this?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
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So, her boyfriend is basicly saying you can take my gf if you can. But, his girlfriend is deeply in love with him.. You know this sounds like I might know you with the situation you just gave. But, I am single now... :crazy:

If he is you best friend then, I wouldn't try to take his girlfriend. Unless they break up and its cool with him.
 
W

WC2

Master Don Juan
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Rule of thumb : The person who cares less in the relationship will always get all the attention.

He cares less, thus she's giving him all the attention, thus she has all the feelings for him. It's going to be tough, if not impossible to really try to hook this chick. Besides, it's your best friend. He may say he doesn't care, but it really says something if you're trying to steal your best friend's GF. I've been in that situation once where I did "steal" my friend's girl and it was something I'd never really do again. Just not worth it.

What's worse is if you attempt to do it and fail, it's just as bad if not worse than succeeding at it.
 
F

Fluid

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yes pple were telling me just to stay away from it, but she keeps giving strong ioi's and my best friend isnt a guy who has girlfriends and will probably never have a gf, just gets into flings with girls. With this present girl she tells everyone that he's her boyfriend, while he tells us, nah, and that he just wants to fvck her
 
P

PEPE LE PIU

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Fluid said:
She's been giving me a lot of ioi's, heavy kino with her is easy to do, but she is a very nice girl and gives alotta iois to our entire group of friends.
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So they are not real IOI's. Maybe she is a very social person. In any way I wouldn't mess with my buddy's woman even if she is a ONS because it can complicate things too much. Maybe if she was a total wh0re things would be different but I would stay away just to be safe with my friend.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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I

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
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With most friends there is a code. That code is to not mess with his girl. Your real friends would not do that. Some will stab you in the back but, thats another story. Some girls are just flirty and outgoing but, don't mean anything by it.

If I was in your situation. I would respect my best friends relationship and find a different girl.
 
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